Old 7th August 2005, 20:57   #1
MidnightViper88
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Help! Tachometer doesn't go to 0 at stop!

http://www.bimmerfest.com/forums/sho...1&page=1&pp=25

OMFG!

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
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Old 7th August 2005, 21:17   #2
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/doesn't know what a tachometer is
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Old 7th August 2005, 21:19   #3
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Gauge in your car that measures your engine's RPMs (Revolutions per minute)...

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
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Old 7th August 2005, 21:20   #4
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It's measures the rate the engine is currently running at, usualy in 1000 revolutions per minute.

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Old 7th August 2005, 21:46   #5
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Re: Help! Tachometer doesn't go to 0 at stop!

Quote:
Originally posted by MidnightViper88
http://www.bimmerfest.com/forums/sho...1&page=1&pp=25

OMFG!

Ahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!

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Old 7th August 2005, 22:17   #6
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it's funny how little people understand the things they use daily.
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Old 7th August 2005, 22:35   #7
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Old 7th August 2005, 22:57   #8
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/me weeps for his fellow BMW owners.

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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Old 7th August 2005, 23:26   #9
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I kinda like this answer:
Quote:
I believe the wiring for the RPM guage runs off the same fuse/circuit as the xenon lights. If BMW didn't fill the Xenon lights all the way up with halogen fluid then the RPM guage will never go to zero. I would just pull the dipstick for the lights and make sure there is plenty of halogen fluid in them.
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Old 8th August 2005, 00:13   #10
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...and while he's in there he should check his turn signal fluid and make sure that the rubber belt on the front of the engine is wrapped tightly around the air intake, just as it should be.


I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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Old 8th August 2005, 00:40   #11
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And don't forget to change the air in your tires regularly!

Wow, people can be so dense some times.
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Old 8th August 2005, 00:59   #12
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On a car forum a few years ago we were having fun with a guy convincing him that he should invest in "oval pulleys". We were all serious, pointing out the performance increase he'd get, as well as the "improved bi-lateral balance". He was kind of a jerk, so I felt no shame about it.

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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Old 8th August 2005, 01:39   #13
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Did you tell him that he should rotate his lug nuts every 3,000 miles too?
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Old 8th August 2005, 01:43   #14
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LOL.
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Old 8th August 2005, 02:08   #15
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o.O


darwin says:
YOU ARE TEH STOOPIDZ NOOb!
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Old 8th August 2005, 02:15   #16
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For some people zero RPM would be good.

How much money you spent on a car seems to be inversely proportional to how well you can drive it.
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Old 8th August 2005, 02:31   #17
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Seems to be that way most of the time...
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Old 8th August 2005, 03:24   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by ScorLibran
...and while he's in there he should check his turn signal fluid and make sure that the rubber belt on the front of the engine is wrapped tightly around the air intake, just as it should be.
P.S. - The person who posted that thread is a woman...

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
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Old 8th August 2005, 05:17   #19
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She is taking getting bashed pretty well too
(after me reading through more of the thread)
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Old 8th August 2005, 05:28   #20
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She probably doesn't realize that she's getting slammed on.
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Old 8th August 2005, 08:10   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by KXRM
it's funny how little people understand the things they use daily.
Most people have no idea of how a car works.... same goes for things like TV or a computer, coem to think of it (o;
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Old 8th August 2005, 15:58   #22
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I am a girl and I knew the answer to that one!!!!!

OMG - that thread was soooooooo funny.
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Old 8th August 2005, 17:08   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by missyob
I am a girl and I knew the answer to that one!!!!!
There's hope out there!

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
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Old 8th August 2005, 18:21   #24
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That's great... My tach is usually 750 at idle, though when coming to a stop and clutch is depressed can drop to as low as 300 due to a vacuum leak somewhere.

I gave up my dreams for her. Too much to replace and add to it. Looking for a newer maza now .

yeah, i'm back.
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Old 8th August 2005, 18:24   #25
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Don't forget to periodically release the pressure using the Canooten Valve...

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Old 8th August 2005, 19:08   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by CaboWaboAddict
Don't forget to periodically release the pressure using the Canooten Valve...
Or adding CaboWabo to the gas tank monthly
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Old 8th August 2005, 19:18   #27
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I suppose the Lexus and the Merc might have "Power Reserve" dials fitted.

God knows why though, the only car I've seen that on is a RR Phantom.

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Old 8th August 2005, 19:29   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by missyob
Or adding CaboWabo to the gas tank monthly
Me or the tequila?




























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Old 8th August 2005, 20:49   #29
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It's a beemer, so you should make sure the kerplunken spring is tightly attached to the widgeterbeemenfuker.

BMW always uses 90 parts where two would have done.

I remember a dumbass ex-girlfriend bought a 325i. I told her not too. I also said I don't work on german cars unless it's a bug. You know how it goes, I ended up working on it anyway.

Here's one for the books. When the emergency flasher switch breaks, none of the lights on the car work. It seems that about everything is wired through the flasher switch. I checked the wrecking yard and didn't find one that wasn't broke.

It was beatches birthday. I spent $104 to get the damned switch from BMW. She didn't like that for a birthday present and was pissed because I couldn't make the fuel injection work right. In fact, I could make the fuel injection work. An aftermarket kit is about $900. Damn Bosch junk.

If you want power and something that you can work on, it's Jap cars every time. Fords are ok too, but they will nickel and dime you to death with all the little crap that falls apart. Japanese Chevy's like the Cavalier are a great car too.

After she found another man, who deserved her (lowlife), I asked my friend?. Do I have "guppy" tatooed on my forehead.

He said "No, Kev. It says 'Step here'".

Never trust a woman with red hair or who drives a f'ing beemer.

Last edited by rockouthippie; 8th August 2005 at 21:06.
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Old 9th August 2005, 03:29   #30
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I miss working on my M3. My favorite part about owning it was modifying it. The BMW aftermarket is huge, and great quality parts are dirt cheap.

Having worked on well over 1000 cars in my life (3 years as an auto mechanic, and ever since in the hobby of restoration and racing mods), BMWs have always been the easiest to work on and (IMO) the most logically constructed. For instance on my 1995 M3 I replaced all six fuel injectors in 12 minutes, by myself, from opening the hood to starting the car at the end. Second fastest time doing that was on a Toyota pickup.

The worst ever fuel-injector-replacement-experience was an early-90s Nissan 300ZX. It took me and the friend who owned it over 4 hours to replace ONE faulty fuel injector. And that was after two mechanics gave up on it. We practically had the entire upper-half of his engine disassembled. It looked like his engine had exploded in his garage. I could have rebuilt an entire BMW engine in less time. (The car ran great when we were done, though. )

But the bottom line is it's all a matter of taste, and what each person considers a "logical" design. One person's dream project is another's nightmare.

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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Old 9th August 2005, 04:15   #31
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don't hate on the nissans... just becuase most of the engines seem like they were built by monkeys who were severly intoxicated...
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Old 9th August 2005, 05:48   #32
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I dunno, I always liked Nissan's. Had a pathfinder that was always reliable. It wasn't a race car, but it was a good little truck.

I have an Eagle Talon, that is pretty modified. Waste gate set to 17 lbs, new chip, better exhaust. It's old, but I yawn at 5 liter mustangs.

Top speed?. Who knows, never been there, but you can set the cruise control for 125.

Japs build the best $hit.
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Old 9th August 2005, 06:19   #33
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Quote:
Originally posted by rockouthippie
Japs build the best $hit.
Best bang for the buck, definitely.

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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Old 9th August 2005, 06:27   #34
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Quote:
Originally posted by rockouthippie
I dunno, I always liked Nissan's. Had a pathfinder that was always reliable. It wasn't a race car, but it was a good little truck.

I have an Eagle Talon, that is pretty modified. Waste gate set to 17 lbs, new chip, better exhaust. It's old, but I yawn at 5 liter mustangs.

Top speed?. Who knows, never been there, but you can set the cruise control for 125.

Japs build the best $hit.
Just to let you know, your Talon was built in the United States, and was designed by both Chrysler and Mitsubishi. We gearheads refer to them as DSMs (because they were built by the subsidiary vehicle manufacturing division caled Diamond Star Motors, operated jointly by Chrysler and Mitsubishi). The Eclipse, Laser, Talon, Stealth, 3000GT, and Chrysler Conquest/Mitsubishi Starion are all products (or derivatives) of Diamond Star Motors.

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Old 9th August 2005, 07:03   #35
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Quote:
Originally posted by ScorLibran
I miss working on my M3....But the bottom line is it's all a matter of taste, and what each person considers a "logical" design. One person's dream project is another's nightmare.
i gotta agree with scor on this one, my dad had to replace the aux cooling fan on his '97 740iL(died after 8 years and 250k miles), which required removing the front bumper assembly. sounds like alot of work right? keeping in mind we have never had to remove his bumper assembly. whole project was done in about 1hour. a total of 9 bolts and the bumper assembly was off, while we had it off i swapped out his fog lights, you twist a knob, slide them to the right, and they pop right out, never even had to pick up a screw driver, putting them in was just as easy. we spent more time removing the accululated crap that had built up on the front of the radiator over the last 1/4 million miles than we spent putting things on or taking them off.

and as for the price of parts, if you are a member of the BMW Car Club of America, you get parts at wholesale from most dealers. the fan was about $75 and the fog light assembly, including the bulbs were $50 each if i remember correctly.
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Old 9th August 2005, 15:32   #36
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gonna have a hell of a time when the muffler bearing needs changed...

missyob made me post this.
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Old 9th August 2005, 17:02   #37
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keep them high rise hood latches lubed!

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Old 10th August 2005, 01:54   #38
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Damn, hope they know to check that blinker fluid once in awhile!

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Old 10th August 2005, 02:07   #39
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Yeah, if your blinker fluid gets too low it makes the flux capacitor malfunction.

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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Old 10th August 2005, 03:08   #40
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hey, my flux capacitor broke today. Damn, I should have checked the blinker fluid
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