Go Back   Winamp & SHOUTcast Forums > Community Center > The Bitchlist

Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 9th November 2012, 17:30   #1
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
How much trouble can a person tolerate without breaking down?

I think, The Bitchlist is the right place...
It was time for a new thread, and I don't think, I'm the only one person in this world, who is suffering so much...
The German translation of "How much trouble can a person tolerate without breaking down?" is "Wieviel Probleme kann ein Mensch vertragen, ohne zusammenzubrechen?"...
I am filled with so much stress, no one can believe that. I've also posted in this thread, and You can scroll down to my latest post:
http://forums.winamp.com/showthread....156419&page=35
But the topic has become too especially for the other thread...
If someone else is in a similiar situation and feels, a breakdown could come very soon, if the stress becomes too big, so big, that it is incredible, then I think, this is the right thread for that...
Feel free to post here...
Greetings from Sabine Klare Aka Sternenmaschinebine
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th November 2012, 00:30   #2
swingdjted
DRINK BEER NOW
(Forum King)
 
swingdjted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern West Virginia
Posts: 9,978
Send a message via AIM to swingdjted Send a message via Yahoo to swingdjted
I'm under some stress, but not to any level where it's harming anything, currently speaking at least.

I've had some really horrible things happen to my family and me, some of which I have talked about on Winamp forums, some not, but luckily I'm ok for now.

Posting here gets me subscribed, and hopefully I'll be able to read up on how you're doing and maybe occasionally offer a helping hand, or at least a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen.

Don't forget to live before you die.
swingdjted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th November 2012, 13:43   #3
rockouthippie
Banned
 
rockouthippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,008
You can take a lot. If you're worried about cracking up, you're probably ok. Eat peach pie and ice cream. It's hard to crack up when you are eating peach pie.
rockouthippie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th November 2012, 16:00   #4
swingdjted
DRINK BEER NOW
(Forum King)
 
swingdjted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern West Virginia
Posts: 9,978
Send a message via AIM to swingdjted Send a message via Yahoo to swingdjted
Well, true, because the peach pie does the cracking up for you.

Don't forget to live before you die.
swingdjted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th November 2012, 01:05   #5
rockouthippie
Banned
 
rockouthippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,008
My sister is having one of these times right now. Her house burned down. The insurance company is fucking with her and her husband is having heart problems and likely isn't gonna live very much longer. He's only 50.

If that doesn't push you over the edge... like I said... we can take a lot.
rockouthippie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th November 2012, 06:31   #6
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
The insurances earn through regular receipts, but if they have to pay, they don't want. The supervisor of my mother herself doesn't have results yet from the 3 insurances after the fire in June. Many things got lost in this fire, and then my mother had been thrown out of the leased apartment, which meant the next loss...
Yesterday I've visted her in the hospital, she is stable and hopefully she will be brought back into the nursing home this week. The blood values ​​had not been in order before the briefing to the hospital...
Spring 2002 the authorities of my husband's grandmother had forced us to do many things for her many times per week, for so many weeks until her death. We had told these authorities, our own health (of us both) is very bad and we cannot do these things, but they had ignored these facts and they had forced us again. Summer 2002 I had my nervous breakdown. I myself had caught aid, I got 3 and a half months for a full-time therapy, but I had always slept at home. It was a terrible time for me, and I cried a lot. Not feeling my arms and legs properly anymore, not being able to walk and speak properly anymore, it was not very nice for me, and these symptoms had lasted for one year long, because the next problems came. Also the death of my father was in that time (6th March 2003), he had suffered in his last weeks very much, and I was so helpless, because we could do nothing anymore. After his death my mother came 10 weeks later into the hosptital for 2 and a half months, because she had fallen at home and broken her hand, also her diabetes had become worse. But Finally Summer 2003 I began to feel better again. And You can imagine, why I never want a nervous breakdown anymore...
You know now, why I've choosen this topic...
All the best also for Your families...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th November 2012, 13:47   #7
fc*uk
Moderator
 
fc*uk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Atlantic Beach
Posts: 8,127
Sorry to hear this Sabine... hopefully this has improved for you.

You seem to be dealing with much of the same stress I was/am having to deal with in regards to my father.

People can handle a lot. Just remember to take some time out for you as well. You will get through it, this is only temporary...
fc*uk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th November 2012, 19:33   #8
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
Thank You, fc*uk...
Yes, I am wondering, why I didn't break down again until now. Maybe I can handle much more and much better than 10 years ago...
I think, it will last again 1 1/2 - 2 years, before maybe my life can become a little bit better again. I hope, it will be only temporary...
A doctor had examined in the summer my mother and discovered, her short-term memory does not work anymore. In May, I would not have noticed something, but now I see it clearly, and more of it. How fast are these changes? Will it last a few weeks, a few months, a few years? She cannot really remember anymore, only a little bit, that I had played my music-videos (WMV) in June, when I was in her apartment for 3 days and 2 nights. And if she calls me and gets me finally at the telephone after so many tries, then she wants, that I should call her back, although she has me already at the telephone and speaks with me...
But I don't want to think of a next funeral now (with my husband's or my own mother)...
I should take some time for me and not work too much. Sleeping and dreaming is very good, also the music at home and outside and also some selected talks with some people (but I don't mean the many telephone calls of my mother each day now)...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd December 2012, 18:14   #9
rockouthippie
Banned
 
rockouthippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,008
No. It isn't really temporary. It will always be something. I try to proceed with an attitude of gratefulness, even if it is only for peach pie. I lost my mom last year after a protracted illness and I got worn pretty thin. But I loved my mom and that means you gotta take the good with the bad.

I found out that if I kept my mind on being grateful for what I had, even if it was kinda meager sometimes, I felt better and acted better.

It's kinda stupid to say "It could be worse", but it could. Is the glass half empty or half full? If it isn't half full, lie and say it is. Existence is a very subjective thing. Try to get some exercise and eat right. You get worn down and kinda neglect yourself when you're in one of these things, but try not to.

You might be beat to shit, but you still got a gig to do. People that actually crack up don't ask questions like "How much can a person take?", they just crack up.

People are pretty durable.
rockouthippie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd December 2012, 19:15   #10
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
I am afraid, You could be right, rockouthippie, that it could be not only temporary, but then I will never escape...
My husband's mother will be transferred to short-term care in a nursing home, but maybe she will stay there forever (I am afraid), and she doesn't have enough incomes to pay that. Then the authorities will interrogate my husband and me to verify our own incomes, but they cannot force us to pay, because we don't have enough incomes. They always verify the incomes of the childern and their partners, and if at least one of the children (as an adult now) or his/her partner will have enough incomes, then that child (adult) will be forced to pay for the nursing home. Another woman had been forced by the authorities to sell her car, because her grandmother had been brought into the nursing home...
Funerals have to be payed by the children, too (a new law since 2004), whether they have the money for that or not. Painkiller for cancer must be paid by the own incomes, and suddenly that person or the whole family can get debts...
I do not know if they come to pry into our apartment, and then we cannot refuse that. But that would be a invade in our privacy, and we have our rights for our private life. We don't have so much, but we want to keep the less things, which we have. Nobody is allowed to take us away these things, which mean so much for our life...
We don't want to get debts, but we can be dragged into debts. Maybe I am in the "end-of-the-world-mood" now, maybe not. We could also have a little bit luck and my husband's mother could come home, for now. And after so much destinys I am expecting also some luck now...
An actress in Germany decided to go into her own death this year with only 42 years, because she got no more orders in the movie business, and she didn't know how to pay the next rent for her leased apartment. In the Eighties she had become very famous in a TV-serial. But suddenly the movie business wasn't interested in her anymore, and she didn't get incomes anymore...
I am not so famous, but I am alive...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd December 2012, 23:02   #11
rockouthippie
Banned
 
rockouthippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,008
If a tree don't fall on me, I'll live till I die

rockouthippie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th January 2013, 18:50   #12
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
Yesterday I had a telephone talk with the supervisor. She had seen the TV-news with the fire report from 2012. The year 2012 was the year with the most burnt houses and apartments, in no other year so many houses and apartments had been destroyed by a fire. A very good girl-friend from us had lost her house by a fire in November and the brother of a further friend had lost his house in December...
The house management could have terminated the lease agreement with my mother also due to odor nuisance, if there wouldn't have been the fire in June. Noise pollution is another reason to terminate a lease agreement, our own neighbors above have suddenly moved out, after they had their very loud washing-machine running each night. The incontinence of my my mother has become much worse in May, she had severe diarrhea on the day, when she had fallen at home on the carpet. The nursing home should finally repair the windows in her room, each visit is painful for me. Mostly I have to go away earlier than I had planned. I say "I have to go home now", and then I leave the room and I run to the balcoon behind the community space. I get already a nausea, if I think about it, and I don't want to vomit...
In July the official doctor has discovered an age dementia, when he examined my mother. The supervisor has told me, my mother will not recognize her own children anymore some day, it can happen in a few months or years. Some other old people can also become very aggressive, an old man had pelted each visitor with objects in his last months. But in this case I would strike very soon...
I cannot tell my friends "I want to make a big tour with You next weekend". The next terrible telephone call can come everytime, maybe I have to go somewhere else at short notice, and then I have to cancel my plan with the tour. I have to live with that for many weeks, months or years. But if I make a visit in a hospital and the weather is very good, then I can stop at a station near a lake on the way home, of course. I had visited a lake 3 times in May, the third time I walked around the lake. I know the lake since more than 40 years now. In my childhood there were also therapy horses near the restaurant at the lake, last year I didn't see them anymore. Long tours are not possible for me anymore for a very long time, but maybe short tours, although I cannot plan a tour. Then it must be very spontanously...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th January 2013, 15:47   #13
rockouthippie
Banned
 
rockouthippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,008
This sounds like my life until about a year ago. Just do the best you can. If you mess it up, and you will, don't feel too bad. Chances are nobody would have done any better.

You sound like you are coming to a point pretty soon where nothing you do will matter. I came to that point with my mom. She got so messed up she didn't know who I was anymore. I couldn't get a smile out of her anymore. And you find out those emergencies you dealt with for so many years aren't emergencies anymore. That has it's own bit of pain. That what you do doesn't really matter anymore. That was hard for me. I came along and saved the day so many times. Then one day it didn't matter. It might have been the hardest thing feeling helpless and wishing for a time when I could make a difference.

If it helps, I think God has some mercy on us when we are really ill. I know some times when my mom enjoyed really poor health, she didn't remember it or feel it at the time. I really think a lot of times it looks worse than it is. I know my mom didn't feel as bad as she was. Her end looked horrible. I don't think she felt it much.

You can be your own worse enemy in a situation like this. You're going from a situation where you are making a difference to a stage where it doesn't matter. Recognize that and re-prioritize. You could start fixing all those things in your own life you didn't have time to do.
rockouthippie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th January 2013, 07:55   #14
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
I had always hoped, my mother would never get an age dementia. I myself don't want to die with an age dementia or a terrible disease, if I myself am also very old some day. That must be very terrible for the old persons, but also for their children. My father didn't have an age dementia, but he had parkinson for a very long time (23 years). In his last weeks he wasn't able to speak anymore, and he had bedsores, before he died at home (with 74 years, a half year before his 75th birthday). There are many other terrible diseases in this world, and also younger people can get a terrible disease and die, not only old people...
I have many questions about my childhood. Last May I had asked my mother many times, when she was in the hospital the first time, because she had broken her shoulder at home. And she had known the most details of my childhood. Now it has become more difficult. I can still ask, for now, but I should ask in these days, because maybe I will not get an answer anymore very soon...
My own childhood... My life was in danger until before my 2nd birthday. A doctor had discovered an embryonal mistake in my body, and an OP had saved my life. The hospital was a trauma for me, I got many therapies in my childhood, and with 4 and a half years I had spoken my first word. After my 7th birthday I came to the first school with a special pedagogy. The school was very good. A teacher had managed our class from the 4th class until the 6th class. He had a very good quality. After the 5th class my mother had forced me to change the school, although I wanted to stay at the same school until after finishing the 6th class. The 6th class in the other school was also very good, although the teacher was very strict, she had punished a child with an extra homework also, if the child didn't pay attention in the lesson, she yelled at each of us very often. But the other children in the 6th class were very social and without prejudices. Then I came to the high school. There were 2 7th classes, and the director had put me into the worse class, although I wanted to be put into the better class. And "The Hell on Earth" began for me for the next 6 and a half years... Oh yes, my childhood was much better than my youth...
My parents didn't abuse me. The teenagers had abused me for 6 and a half years. I learned to know also a few adults, who had been abused by one of their parents or both. My parents were not so strict like some other parents of some other children, maybe my father a little bit more than my mother, but not so much. As a teacher in another high school he was in stress very much, and then he wanted his silence (a little child cannot always understand that, of course). It was very hard for me to experience the psychotic phases of my mother, mostly she had to be brought into a hospital (she had been forced). For a child it is very terrible, if a trusting person is suddenly a whole other person. Also her aunt, her sister and her niece were in a hospital many times (I don't know, what had happened to the 2 children of her nephew, after they have become adults). A psychotic phase must be terrible also for the person himself/herself (I know many such people). Fortunately I had never a psychotic phase. I had only a nervous breakdown in Summer 2002 (which was also very terrible)...
I am trying to do the best. What else should I do?...

Last edited by Sabine Klare; 14th January 2013 at 09:00.
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th January 2013, 21:48   #15
swingdjted
DRINK BEER NOW
(Forum King)
 
swingdjted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern West Virginia
Posts: 9,978
Send a message via AIM to swingdjted Send a message via Yahoo to swingdjted
@RoH - I liked your video.

@SK - One of my dad's friends fooled us about a month ago. We were at a restaurant, and in the middle of a story he was telling us, he just stopped to think for a moment, and then said, "Damn CRS is acting up again". My dad just sorta smiled and nodded, and seeing that, I figured he knew whatever CRS was, but since it was still silent a couple seconds later, curiosity got the better of me, and I finally asked, "What's CRS?" He replied "Can't Remember Shit".

I can't believe I made it this late in life without ever hearing someone say that, because when I laughed about that, my dad seemed surprised that I hadn't heard that line before.

My parents and their friends are in their late '70s. Some of their friends are really falling apart, mentally and physically. On the other hand, my parents seem to be more active then even I am.

I think their secret is to always be busy. If you're too busy with something, you don't really have time to dwell on bad events. It's still important to help and support people who need it, but only to a degree where it's not needlessly hurting you.

Don't forget to live before you die.
swingdjted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th January 2013, 09:12   #16
rockouthippie
Banned
 
rockouthippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,008
I read that if you stay mentally active, your odds of dementia are reduced "Use it or lose it?"?

Yeah... as I'm getting older, I'm getting a little blind, a little deaf and I'll be darned if I can remember what that third thing is.....
rockouthippie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th January 2013, 09:52   #17
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
I hope, I will not need hearing aids some day. I'm not a friend of earphones, and I don't understand, how people can listen to the very nice music with these terrible in-ear-phones. I remember, how the first hearing aids had looked (very similiar), because I had seen an old man in a bus with a hearing aid, when I was 9 (1975/1976)...
I'm a bit short-sighted, but not so much, maybe I will become farsighted some day. My husband has also become farsighted very much now (since some years), and he is 1 year older than me (I'm 46 now). My father was short-sighted very much in his younger years, but in his last years he didn't need his glasses anymore...
I can only hope, that I will not become totally blind or deaf some day, because that would be not very nice for me, also a wheelchair would be not so nice, not only a dementia...
My mother should get mentaltraining, the doctor had prescribed it. The process of a dementia can be made slower, but it cannot be stopped, of course...
Not only old people remember especially older things and events. My mother had asked me a long time ago: "What was the first thing You remember?" And I had answered: I was in a stroller. There was a walking journey in the street, then my mother brought me home. And in the stairwell the stroller had lost one wheel (then it had only 3 wheels and not 4 anymore). "You remember exactly this?" My mother was astonished. I think, I will remember this also, if I'm very old some day...
I can remember nothing from my stay in the hospital, which was a little bit later, when I was not in this stroller anymore. But I can remember this one funny thing from the time before and everything from the time after...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31st January 2013, 04:45   #18
swingdjted
DRINK BEER NOW
(Forum King)
 
swingdjted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern West Virginia
Posts: 9,978
Send a message via AIM to swingdjted Send a message via Yahoo to swingdjted
I'm still pretty young at 34. I'm likely as sharp as I'm capable of being, and my vision is very good. My hearing is not so good. I will likely need hearing aids before I hit 50, probably much earlier. I spent a lot of years performing as an instrumentalist and playing as a DJ, and most of those years included a lot of farm and sawmill work during the day, which was equally loud. If I wasn't doing either of those things, I had a cassette walkman with headphones on. I also spent huge amounts of time running chainsaws for firewood, something I still do a lot, but now with hearing protection. Although I have backed off a lot of the music scene in recent times, I still do some music work occasionally with hearing protection. I didn't use hearing protection in my younger days, and I have some really serious regrets about that. I often frustrate my wife asking her to repeat stuff when I don't hear it.

Luckily at work I don't have to worry about that because my students are at an age where their voices can cut through anything, even when they're talking softly. Plus, they all know I have trouble hearing because I have given talks in our health classes about responsible treatment of one's ears, using my experiences as reference. Something tells me this new culture of earbuds is going to be some pretty bad news in a few years for a lot of people. If this goes to the extreme, hearing aids will be as common as eyeglasses.

Don't forget to live before you die.
swingdjted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31st January 2013, 22:04   #19
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
You are so young and I am so old, Ted...
I have to write without Google Translator now, sorry, if my English is very bad today...
Stress can cause, that people suddenly cannot hear on an ear anymore some day, similiar to the heart attack, and then a stay in a hospital is necessary immediately, before the ear can be damaged permanently, but hearing-aids cannot always be avoided after that. It can happen to older and also to younger people. I myself can only hope, that it will never happen to me...
At my PC I listen to SHOUTcast Radio with the loudspeakers, although I can turn them only to 4 and not to 10, because we have neighbors in the house. My husband wants to listen, too, if he is sitting at his PC in the same room. If we play our Synthesizers in our studio, then we use our Beyerdynamic DT-990 Pro, and in the night I have to pay attention, that I am singing not too loud...
The cassette walkman came out Winter 1980/1981 and the in-ear-phones Summer 1983. These in-ear-phones were terrible enough, but the earbuds, which came out a few years ago, are more terrible, and I never want to use them. Many people are using them, but some people are still using real on-ear-headphones instead of in-ear-phones or earbuds. You are right, Ted, hearing aids will be as common as eyeglasses due to this general trending. I myself got my first and only one cassette walkman with real headphones December 1981...
http://www.petervis.com/walkmans/San...nyo_M4440.html I used my walkman 5 years. The last repair Spring 1988 was not successful, then nobody wanted to repair it anymore and I refused to buy a new walkman, because I didn't want to throw the old one on the waste. I was without music outside until June 2012. Today I have my MP3s with me (currently 2337 songs, 339 artists and 332 albums), and I still use real headphones (for outside these are the Sennheiser PX-100ii now) and no in-ear-phones and no earbuds...
The cassette walkman... It's "Retro Technic" now, and I still don't know, where the new thread about "Retro Technic" (Radio, TV & Co, but also City Trains & Busses) should be opened, in General Discussions oder in The Bitchlist...
Music helps me a lot. My husband and I are artists, but the listening (and the watching while listening) is also very important for me. I cannot live without music, and something keeps me stable enough, for now...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 1st February 2013, 16:53   #20
rockouthippie
Banned
 
rockouthippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,008
My German is worse than your English. Take good care.
rockouthippie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd February 2013, 23:35   #21
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
Thank You, rockouthippie... Here I have my own lyrics, written in German, because it was easier for me to write in German than in English...
http://www.lastfm.de/user/SabineKlar..._grosse_wunder
I didn't get the Google Translator, because it doesn't work in Google Chrome on my PC, and I wasn't able to open Firefox or the Original Internet Explorer. After I got page-loading-errors also in Google Chrome later and I didn't get the AOL Search Startpage in the Embedded Internet Explorer anymore, I had known, I had to reboot my PC to get the internet connection back...
Yesterday the next telephone calls came. My husband's mother was in the hospitals again and she will be brought to a nursing home, too. The next telephone calls will follow, and they will try to get money from us, although we don't have the money to pay for the nursing home... How many times did I get a telephone call and I had to hear "Your mother is in the hospital now"?... Many times, too much...
I shouldn't sit at our both PCs the whole night, my last live-broadcast on Mixlr in the weekend-night will last further 2 hours, but the next evening I have to go to bed much earlier, and the next Monday I have to leave the bed very early in the morning...
My parents were rooted in the old familiar things very much, too, and they also didn't want to buy new things as replacements for old things, if the old things were broken some day. My mother has lost her home twice, her first home and her last home (and I my homeland of my childhood), my father has lost also his first home after the Second World War. It was very terrible for everyone to know, that he or she or I would never see the old things from the first part of the life anymore. I had always thought, my old environment would be my homeland forever, but it's my current environment now, and I don't want to move to another apartment again. Our strong rootednesses are affecting not only the homes. 1991 my father also wanted to keep his old transistor radio (he had bought it 1972), because he loved it so much, but the man in the service shop had only said "No, I don't repair such an old radio anymore, Your father has to throw it on the waste!"... My parents gave me the strong rootednesses into the cradle, too, not only my artistic abilities...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd February 2013, 03:19   #22
Wildrose-Wally
The Albertan
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 6,120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabine Klare View Post
and I my homeland of my childhood
Where did you come from?
Wildrose-Wally is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd February 2013, 03:50   #23
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
I was born in Berlin, Germany, and I am still living in Berlin, but in another Berlin city district now, Berlin-Neukölln. I was born in a hospital in Berlin-Zehlendorf, and I have grown up in Berlin-Wilmersdorf near Rüdesheimer Platz...
When my parents were younger and more healthy, we were accepted, but when they became older and diseased, the neighbors and the other people in the environment began to hate my parents and also me. The neighbors tried everything to get rid off my parents in the same house. When my father was outside (he walked very bad), 2 people saw him and had said "And such a man was a teacher!"...
A man in a jacket shop was very unfriendly to my parents and didn't want to sell a leather jacket to "a sick old grandpa". What has a leather jacket to do with an age? Is it age-restricted to wear a leather jacket?...
In Berlin-Wilmersdorf the people hated me more and more, because I myself am also not very healthy, but it doesn't happen to me in Berlin-Neukölln, because the people in this environment are more tolerant, and we have a mixed culture here. I can never return to the old environment anymore, where I have lived since my birth...
Although my childhood and my youth were not very perfect, we had made many family journeys. We had traveled also to some other countries in Europe. And we were in Canada twice, in Toronto...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd February 2013, 05:34   #24
Wildrose-Wally
The Albertan
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 6,120
It looks like you moved from the former West Berlin into East Berlin. Now if the people are better, you made the right move. I would not want to live in a neighbourhood were the people are bullies.

I am coming to Germany in July, traveling from Amsterdam to Munich, Konstanz, Koblenz and than to Luxembourg, Belgium, and back to Holland.
Wildrose-Wally is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd February 2013, 05:39   #25
mike-db
Pancakes!
(Major Dude)
 
mike-db's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Colour, if you're, you know...
Posts: 3,522
Send a message via ICQ to mike-db
Under stress? Just explode with the anger of a T-Rex!

Quote:
................................................... ..........................._,-~"¯¯"~-,
.................................................. ................__„-~"¯¯:::,-~~-,_::::"-
.................................................. ..........„~"¯::::::::::::::"::::::::::::::::::::::\
.................................................. .__„„„-"::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,
..........................................__-~"::,-':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::~-,
..........................._______~"___-~"::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::: :: :::::::::::"-,
......................,~"::::::::::::::¯¯::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,: |
....................:/:::::::::::::::::__-~":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::_,-~":'\'-,:\:|:\|::\|\::\:|
...................,'::::::::,-~~"~"_::',::|::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :: :::,~ ':\'-,::',"-\::'':"::::::::\|:|/
..............._,-'"~----":::/,~"¯"-:|::|::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,~"::\'-,:\;;'-';;;;;;;;;;;,-'::\::|/
............,-'::::::::::::::::'-\~"O¯_/::,'::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-',::\'-,:|::";;;;;;;;;;;;,-':\:'-,::\
............|:::::::::::::::::-,_'~'::::,-'::,':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-':\'-,:\'-,';;';;;;;;;;;;;;;,-':\:::'\-,|''
............|::,-~"::::::::::::::"~~":::,-'::::::::::::::::::::::::_,-~':\'-,|:"'";;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'¯::'-,:',\|
.........../::/::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::_,„-~"¯\:\'-,|;''-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'--,::\-:\:\|
........./::::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-';;'-';;;;',/;\/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-,|:::\-,:|\|..\|
......./:::::::\:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-~'''("-,\:::|\:|::''
......,':::::::,'::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :,-'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,--'::::::/"~'
.....,'::::::::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,„-~"::|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'::::::::,'::::/
..../:::::::::|:::::::::::::„---~~""¯¯¯::',:::::,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'::::::::: :: |_,-'
..,'::::::::::::",:,-~"¯::::::::"-,::::::::::|:::/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,':::::::|::::,'
./:::::::::::::::|:::::::::::::::::::"-,:::::::\:::|¯¯¯"""~-,~,_/::::::::,':::/
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_::|::\: : : : : : |: : \::::::::/:/
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::"-':::\: : : : : : |: : :\::::::\ FUCK YOU I'M A T-REX!!!!!!!!!!!
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::: ::::\: : : : : : \: : : |:::::;;\
::::::::::::::::::"-,:::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::::/|\ ,: : : : : : : |::::,'/|::::|
:::::::::::::::::::::"-,:::::::::::::::"-,_::::::::::\|:/|,: : : : : : : |::: |'-,/|:::|
::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_::::::::::::::"~-,_:::"-,/|/\::::::::::: \::: \"-/|::|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,__:::::::::::',"-,:::"_|/\:|\: : : : \::\":/|\|
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_:::::\:::\:::"~/_:|:|\: : : '-,\::"::,'\
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"-,_:'-,::\:::::::"-,|:||\,-, : '-,\:::|-'-„
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::,-,'"-:"~,:::::"/_/::|-/\--';;\:::/: ||\-,
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :/...'-,::::::"~„::::"-,/_:|:/\:/|/|/|_/:|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |......"-,::::::::"~-:::::""~~~"¯:::|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |........."-,_::::::::::::::::::::::::::::/
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::\ .............."~--„_____„„-~~"

SEX APPEAL UP IN HERE!
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
mike-db is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd February 2013, 06:08   #26
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
Berlin-Neukölln is also in the west-part of Berlin, but in Berlin-Neukölln many people with less incomes are living, while in Berlin-Wilmersdorf many people with higher incomes are living, and people with much money have more prejudices than people with less incomes. And I don't like such people with many prejudices...
I am a true lion, born on the 8th August 1966, and the most people know, what a true lion does, if this lion is very angry. But You are right, mike-db, 65 million years ago Planet Earth didn't have lions yet, but Planet Earth had the very famous T-Rex...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th February 2013, 20:52   #27
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
I forgot to mention, many healthy people in Berlin-Wilmersdorf have prejudices not only against people with a disease, also against Electronic Musicians, and the neighbors will do everything to get rid off the musician in the same house, also, if this musician uses only headphones and no loudspeakers. But if another musician plays only Classical Music on an acoustic piano, then the neighbors will not begin to fight against him...
Prejudices against people with a disease or against people from another country or with another skin color are still existing. In Berlin-Neukölln it will be not a problem to have a disease or another skin color or to come from another country, only in some other Berlin city districts (but not in all)...
If a very young man loses an arm by an accident in a fabric, then he will never get a new job anymore, until he will die as an old man, although this man would have been very good in his job, but no employer wants to have a man with only 1 arm...
People with prejudices shouldn't be so arrogant. An accident, a stroke or a disease can happen everytime, suddenly and unexpectedly, also to people, who were very healthy before, and also to people with prejudices...
Edit: Oh, I was able to post my text in the Original Internet Explorer, why not in Firefox? I have saved my text in a document and tried it again. I should make a test in Google Chrome, before maybe I would have to reboot...
2nd Edit: I had success with the test in Google Chrome...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28th February 2013, 12:02   #28
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
Our life has been destroyed again. I've also posted in "Kittehs for widdy":
http://forums.winamp.com/showthread....32#post2915832
Somewhere people are always trying to ruin our life and to break us...
Our life is not very nice anymore, and our life becomes more and more terrible from year to year. Why do we have to live? Why do we have do suffer? How can we escape from this terrible situation? We wish, we would finally be freed from all this suffering...
Sorry, I feel the tears in my eyes again...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st March 2013, 19:28   #29
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
Nobody will believe that, I myself don't want to believe that...
My mother has some girl-friends from her childhood. 2 of them (2 sisters) are still living in the village in the East-Part of Germany, where my mother was born. They had a house. After the Second World War the state took them away their house, but after 1989 they got it back. For many years they were tenants in their house and employees in their textile-fabric behind their house. January 1978 we visited them. Today I got these sad news from my mother: There was a fire in their house, and after the fire OPs & skin transplantations were necessary. I hope, both sisters have survived. I don't know yet, if the fire had happened already in the terrible year 2012 or in this year, but I will ask my mother. 4 houses & apartments have been destroyed now by a fire since June 2012...
How many houses & apartments will burn as next? It will not stop. And we know all the victims personally. A fire is a nightmare. To be honest, my own wish would be: not to survive, if a fire would happen in our own home...
But I have to worry about something else: 2 female related people of my mother have died with only 46 years, her mother and her cousin (cancer and brain tumor). And I am 46 years old now. I have to worry, until my 47th birthday would come. If many people have died in a short time, we got these sad news always 3 times, this means, 3 people have died. And I have to worry, that a third female related person of my mother could die with only 46 years, too. I am the second-born child. The most female related people of my mother are much older now...
I am not yet away from my fears. I can only hope the best, that the life will not become more terrible than it is already...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd March 2013, 02:30   #30
swingdjted
DRINK BEER NOW
(Forum King)
 
swingdjted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern West Virginia
Posts: 9,978
Send a message via AIM to swingdjted Send a message via Yahoo to swingdjted
An older couple died in a house fire two houses up from mine on my street on January 5th of this year. Only one hose was used to keep the fire from spreading to other houses, because our fire department is far, far underfunded. If I get some time I'll post video and pictures.

I'm sorry you have gone through so much. I suggest that for every time you mention these terrible things, you try to balance them out by looking for even more good things around you. I hope that you can find these things, because they do indeed exist if you're looking.

Don't forget to live before you die.
swingdjted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd March 2013, 18:36   #31
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
It seems, the ill-breaks into the environment. So many related people have to suffer, so many friends...
Today I have asked my mother. One of the 2 sisters has been injured, when she wanted to cook, she is still in the hospital. The other sister didn't have been injured. I will ask my mother again, she will get the next news soon...
If I would have enough money to pay for a bank safe regularly, I would use it, not for jewels, but always for 2 external harddrives. I would buy 4 external harddrives with 2000 GB, I would keep 2 harddrives at home and bring 2 harddrives to the bank safe. I would update the 2 harddrives at home, bring them to the bank safe and take the other 2 harddrives home to update them, too. And I would repeat that again and again. If one of the 2 harddrives would break, I would have the other one...
Everybody will understand, that I don't want to have a big loss anymore. I have lost enough in my life, my father, my homeland of my childhood, our cats. I want to keep at least our own home now...
I have my regular dates with a professional medical, a half hour away from our home. She is very good. 5 minutes away from our home there is a general practitioner, he is also very good. These doctors and their assistants find it okay, if I listen to my MP3s in the waiting room (currently 2375 songs in shuffle mode). They themselves say always: "Try to relax!". But in the waiting room of a throat-nose-ear doctor I would not dare to do that, because in the past the doctors and assistants said always to a patient with a walkman: "That's very dangerous!" (also, if on-ear-headphones were used instead of in-ear-phones). But in the hospitals many people use headphones, also old people and children, for music and for the TV (together with a special card). Headphones can be bought in a vending machine in the hospital, although these cheap headphones will have a very bad sound quality (then Saturn or Media Markt would be much better)...
One of the artist-colleagues has invited me into a live-show, and the next live-show of another artist-colleague is waiting, too. What would I do without these artist-colleagues and what would I do without the music? I love to listen & watch, to balance out my life...
Edit: the first artist-colleague has finished his live-show now, and the second artist-colleague has already begun with his live-show. There is nothing better than the music in Your soul...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd March 2013, 08:07   #32
rockouthippie
Banned
 
rockouthippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,008
Whales Weep Not:

http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15350
rockouthippie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd March 2013, 17:00   #33
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
Whales & Dolphins are very peaceful creatures...
Diving into the Deep Blue Ocean... Hearing the Magic Choirs & Voices...
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL118501330BFED2D2
The Blue Planet... Deep Blue... Atlantis Wakes... They have a mystic and magic power on me... And I love these BBC-Documentations as TV-Serials & Movies so much... ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♥♥♥♥♥ ★★★★★
The albums of George Fenton and Joel Goldsmith are also on my PC, notebook and Archos 43...
In November I was as a visitor in the hospital many times. The elevators have surveillance cameras. Suddenly I began to sing in the elevator (with on-ear-headphones). The other people in the elevator have smiled. It was the song "Time To Wake Up" from "Fous De La Mer" (from the album "Reggatta de Bleu"). Normally a visitor wouldn't sing in a hospital...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd March 2013, 21:58   #34
swingdjted
DRINK BEER NOW
(Forum King)
 
swingdjted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern West Virginia
Posts: 9,978
Send a message via AIM to swingdjted Send a message via Yahoo to swingdjted
Here's the fire I described. Shortly after the video was taken, the house collapsed and continued to burn until pretty much everything was gone. If you're reading this just after I post, you might have to wait a bit since it's still uploading.

[edit]

youtube has a suggested tag: "house music"... not very appropriate...

[/youtube]


Don't forget to live before you die.
swingdjted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd March 2013, 23:11   #35
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
Just finished my live-broadcast in Mixlr, I have broadcasted 5 hours...
And just watched this video, it's so terrible, the whole house has been destroyed...
The phone line in the house of the 2 sisters currently does not work, so my mother cannot call 1 of the sisters anymore, she gets only the message "Kein Anschluss unter dieser Nummer". This could mean, that their whole house could have been destroyed, too, or at least damaged very much. And I think, 1 sister had brought the other sister out of the house immediately...
Many years ago an authoritarian man told me: "If there is smoke in the stairwell, You have to leave Your apartment and the whole house immediately!" (with the danger of losing all the material goods in the apartment, which can never be replaced anymore). In the years 2000 and 2002 there was smoke in the stairwell, and we called the emergency both times. Fortunately it's a new building. In an old building a fire would spread into all apartments very quickly, and the whole house could burn down...
I already mentioned the other fire on 22nd November 2012. These are my 3 bookmarks from my Firefox:
http://www.112-magazin.de/kb-feuerwe...tag-abgebrannt
http://www.hna.de/lokales/korbach-wa...t-2630713.html
http://www.hna.de/lokales/korbach-wa...t-2632772.html
Our girl-friend has to live as a tenant in a leased apartment now, for a very long time...
I don't understand, why YouTube has suggested the tag "house music"...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th March 2013, 14:01   #36
swingdjted
DRINK BEER NOW
(Forum King)
 
swingdjted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern West Virginia
Posts: 9,978
Send a message via AIM to swingdjted Send a message via Yahoo to swingdjted
Sorry about how jittery the video is; I was walking while the camera was using a strong zoom lens, which is a bad combination for filming.

I found a way to block youtube's marketing strategies just as a way to post a few videos that people want to see. I still don't like what they do, but I guess I'm "caving" by using their service.

Don't forget to live before you die.
swingdjted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th March 2013, 17:26   #37
rockouthippie
Banned
 
rockouthippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,008
Quote:
I found a way to block youtube's marketing strategies
You can have free services on the internet. You can have an ad free internet. You can't have both.

You can opt out of receiving "OMG NOOOO!!" targeted advertising. The advertisers give you the choice.

http://www.networkadvertising.org/choices/

More than 65% of Google's ad revenue goes to the publishers of the webs you like. People say "I'll donate to support web's I like". That makes me laugh so hard I nearly fall out of my chair.

I think Youtube and Google are ethical enough. It beats how the teachers around here get extra revenue. That's usually that if the bond measure fails, the first thing they eliminate is the school bus. Youtube doesn't blackmail anybody.
rockouthippie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th March 2013, 01:09   #38
swingdjted
DRINK BEER NOW
(Forum King)
 
swingdjted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern West Virginia
Posts: 9,978
Send a message via AIM to swingdjted Send a message via Yahoo to swingdjted
Ads don't bother me so long as they're not distracting. Tracking cookies do. I have opted out and use a dummy email account, but most people have no idea that it's even going on, and I don't feel that's ethical to exploit. I donate to Wikipedia, and it's self-sustaining without the ads. Google in general is one of the lesser offenders though.

The teacher thing is separate. Teachers get paid far less on average than anyone else with their credentials. They do what they have to just to keep from leaving the profession. Also, if what you describe is what you're seeing, that's not the action of teachers, that's the action of a superintendent making recommendations to the school board, and then the school board voting to agree. Teachers don't have the power to use that kind of blackmail, although I'll admit, many would like that kind of power, at least for a little extra job security.

Don't forget to live before you die.
swingdjted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th March 2013, 12:42   #39
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
I think, the teachers at a primary school are not paid very well since many years, in the Seventies & Eighties their incomes were much better. Teachers at a high school earn more, especially, if they are civil servants & departmental manager. Today the most teachers are not civil servants anymore, only employees, who also earn less money. If a departmental manager gets a disease, then another teacher will try to get this position in the job. But a demotion has a negative effect for the retirement later...
Until the Eighties librarians were employed, mostly as civil servants, then only as employees, and since the Nineties only assistants are employed instead of librarians, because they are much cheaper (and earn less money)...
I don't like authoritarian people, because this authoritarian man told me once "You have to leave also Berlin!", when I said "I never want to leave Berlin!". Another authoritarian man said the same many years earlier. I don't understand, why this authoritarian man became so moody, in the first time he was very kindly. Another woman became very authoritarian, too. Such people don't understand me (for example, when we had the water damage in our home because of the pipe-break in the apartment above), and I myself don't understand, why I kept the contact with them for such a long time. Because other people have also problems with them, I am thinking now, it's better not to cross their way anymore and to stay away from the open meeting. I would only get very upset again...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th September 2013, 00:22   #40
Sabine Klare
Forum Queen
 
Sabine Klare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 2,432
I was around the internet the whole time. Very difficult questions came up, and it isn't always easy to find an answer. At least I can say: For us all the situations have become worse and worse. We have to worry, of course, but we can not let the fear eat us, and we have to take care, that we will not break down...

Was 2013 better than 2012? I don't know. We have still 3 and a half months yet, before we can change to 2014. Also in 2013 very much things have happened, not only in 2012. But we have to bite us through all the bad situations in life...

And I have just seen: We are all tough fighter, and we can not let ourselves be beaten by anything...

Sabine Klare Aka Sternenmaschinebine
Music, Art, Lyrics, Videos
AMBIENT... AMBIENT music forever...
Sabine Klare is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Go Back   Winamp & SHOUTcast Forums > Community Center > The Bitchlist

Tags
breakdown, health, human, stress, trouble

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump