Old 30th January 2007, 22:23   #1
Psythik
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The trouble with women...

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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

This is a sig of some nature.
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Old 30th January 2007, 22:31   #2
mikm
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rofls

That wasn't a bad idea

powered by C₂H₅OH
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Old 30th January 2007, 22:44   #3
Widdykats
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^ I've heard it before..and it's still funny!

BTW..."I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis."

The Tennis Braceletâ„¢ is whatcha' show to your girlfriends.
(and anybody else that will stare at it!)
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Old 31st January 2007, 02:39   #4
JFASI
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Ouch. It's cold showers for this guy for a looooong time.


That's a pretty good one, though.

Certified Spam Connoisseur.
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Old 31st January 2007, 02:44   #5
dlinkwit27
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Heard it, still funny :-D
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Old 31st January 2007, 02:52   #6
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I think I just read that last summer on this forum.
It was good for a hardy har har.
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Old 31st January 2007, 04:56   #7
ScorLibran
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Hahaha.

Girlfriends like that are the reason we have hookers.

"Just because you aren't going to have sex doesn't mean I'm not going to."





(just kidding)

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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Old 31st January 2007, 05:52   #8
Psythik
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Quote:
Originally posted by ElChevelle
I think I just read that last summer on this forum.
Well, I did a search before posting this thread and nothing similar came up.

This is a sig of some nature.
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Old 31st January 2007, 10:26   #9
Widdykats
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You used "The Search" feature?
Oh my!
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Old 31st January 2007, 15:53   #10
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"The forbidden button of shame" is a better name for it.

I wasn't insulting your intelligence Psythik. I was over-stressing that I had seen it before for some reason.

That reason may be that I'm a dick.
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Old 31st January 2007, 16:05   #11
Widdykats
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No! It was a joke about how mercenary some women are; so you remembered it!


That may or may not make ya' a dick!
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Old 31st January 2007, 21:56   #12
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Quote:
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Geez, you aren't very good at being a guy are you?. You're playing a game, when you shouldn't be. Women should be able to get away with just about anything. You aren't gonna change them. If you play their game, you'll lose, because you aren't the one that makes up the rules.

If women have their way, you'll usually end up going tit for tat like a couple of three year olds. That's why you're supposed to nod and say "Yes Honey". That's unless it gets too miserable, then you just find another one.

With women and nukes, the only way to win is not to play.
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Old 1st February 2007, 01:22   #13
ElChevelle
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It's a joke, dude.
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Old 1st February 2007, 03:15   #14
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<insert rofls>
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Old 1st February 2007, 10:49   #15
ScorLibran
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<send humor package up three posts>

I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.
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Old 1st February 2007, 13:16   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by S-uper_T-oast
<insert rofls>

ftw
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Old 2nd February 2007, 00:56   #17
gameplaya15143
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Quote:
Originally posted by rockouthippie
tit
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Old 2nd February 2007, 03:16   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by rockouthippie
Geez, you aren't very good at being a guy are you?. You're playing a game, when you shouldn't be. Women should be able to get away with just about anything. You aren't gonna change them. If you play their game, you'll lose, because you aren't the one that makes up the rules.

If women have their way, you'll usually end up going tit for tat like a couple of three year olds. That's why you're supposed to nod and say "Yes Honey". That's unless it gets too miserable, then you just find another one.

With women and nukes, the only way to win is not to play.
he is right, although i am going to remember that last line of the joke....

I hate everyone, so you don't have to.
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