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Old 22nd September 2008, 06:05   #1
Sherwin Maxawow
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WOW--- talk about a real MD 2 "ARTIST!"

Hey everyone--- I just wanted to say that I've been totally amazed over the new presets made by someone who goes by "martin"? -- WOW! Amazing stuff, and its the first time I feel like someone is taking Milkdrop to the NEXT LEVEL!

But then, I appreciate all of the new stuff being produced from all of you guys! Martin's work is just really blowing my mind right now! At first I honestly thought the name was "Martian"......and I suppose it was due to his presets being so out of this world to me!

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Old 22nd September 2008, 13:01   #2
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didn't you know Nitorami yet? He's active on the forum for half a year now. And i can only agree with you: his presets deserve a category of its own.
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Old 23rd September 2008, 02:05   #3
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i always view the milkdrop presets forum as sorted by date, maybe if you also sorted it that way (by clicking by "last post") you would not miss some pplz preset shcites? anyway, no sarcasm here, just trying to help.

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Old 24th September 2008, 08:32   #4
Sherwin Maxawow
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Hello....and sorry for being so utterly clueless due to the fact that I havent been active hardly at all lately. Its been well over a year since I've even looked at Milkdrop, especially during 2007 which was a not the best year for me and I didnt have time to get online much period.

But before that I did come here a lot, basically just as an "admirer" of everyone's artistic work more or less.....for The ONLY visualization plugin that to me is really totally cool.....or the only one with a SOUL! Of course Milkdrop is (as you all know) The HOLY or DIVINE music visualization! A visual plugin after God's own heart! I would bet that if GOD has a PC, then HE (or She) probably watches Milkdrop on it. I am of course as silly as a loon.

But anyway, I guess I really just haven't been "in tune" to what has been happening lately in MilkdropLAND, and I am just now discovering some of the "FRESH MILK" that is being delivered by some of you guys!
Speaking of MILK! -- Isnt Ryan Geiss a vegetarian???! (Hmmmmm- pondering that to myself) Perhaps he became a vegetarian after he had already named it? Maybe its soymilk?
If ever I have left some of you with the question of wether or not I am actually insane, I'm guessing that question in ALL of your minds has now been completely, positively ANSWERED with a great big "YES...ABSOLUTELY & POSITIVELY FU%$ING CRRRACKERS!!!" But its just that LIFE is much more fun when you are a little bit crazy. Personally though, I wouldnt think of myself as being just "little bit" because I am a wee bit beyond that!
Its like that John Lennon song "Imagine" which is a great song and all. But I just "imagined" changing the words, and so I invite you to all (with good humor) Imagine the main chorus of the song going like this- "Imagine all the people.....taking... L S D...eeeheeee eeeee! - You may say that I'm a loony------- but I'm not the only one------ I hope someday we can all get 'SHROOMY!'-- and then together we can have some real fun!"

Now I certainly hope that I dont end up offended anybody by my spoofing the lyrics of what is definitely a very good and genuinely meaningful song......which I do know is special to quite a few people, including me.
However perhaps John Lennon's dream of a peaceful world living as one might actually become reality much more easily IF everyone on earth actually did...like, ya know--
"tune in, tune on and drop out" for a day or two! Wait a sec.. "DROP"out.....awwh aaahaa....OF COURSE! Milkdrop, haha. Timothy Leary, you visionary YOU! It all makes sense now! What do we tune in and turn on before we finally MILKDROP OUT!?
This all to be taken with a silly grain of salt, and I really am not as serious as I sometimes PRETEND I am being! Just so you all me a little better. I am crazy, but I aint as crazy as I creatively pretend to be, especially in many of my posts here.
Honestly, this here corner of the web is about the only place I ever really write so 'crazily'. After all, CREATIVE EXPRESSION is in a way kind of the whole "theme" of this message board if you think about it. And all I'm trying to do is to hopefully lighten people up a bit with some of my silly humor.
I am also not always in this sort of crazy state of mind like I am in right now.


Anyway, this martin, who you call "Nitorami" (cool name) definitely is just like you worded it, Flexi!
Who is he...some kind of Milkdrop angel sent from GOD? I wonder what got him into it? I mean, SHIT...could I get his autograph??? Just kidding!
I just hope he continues to make more INCREDIBLE presets! WOW!

Anyway, sorry again for being clueless. I will try to get more caught up on things as I have really been way out of touch for the past year or so.
But I now am suddenly its like I am now rediscovering my religion or something--- My passion for MILK, and man is it FRESH and cold right now......and healthy too! You know...Flexi.... I was reading somewhere about how calcium builds strong bones!

I am now crashing hard......sleeeeeep awaits. farwell and goodnight.
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Old 24th September 2008, 09:52   #5
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDrLV6tCeh0

Yai
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If ever I have left some of you with the question of wether or not I am actually insane, I'm guessing that question in ALL of your minds has now been completely, positively ANSWERED with a great big "YES
well, i'm still wondering whose second personality you are. Sometimes i even thought you were Ryan Geiss himself, making fun on his zoo of quasi-autistic preset authors. Hm, i think i just like that imagination and my mind likes to overturn sometimes as well.

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Anyway, this martin, who you call "Nitorami" (cool name) definitely is just like you worded it, Flexi!
Who is he...some kind of Milkdrop angel sent from GOD?
i would like to know that either Anyway i wouldn't like to have certainty on that - just to leave a little chance that YOU are right

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It all makes sense now! What do we tune in and turn on before we finally MILKDROP OUT!?
As for me this has nothing to do with taking drugs, but i'm channeling SOMAtic music through it. I have been smoking pot heavily for quite a few years but now i have been 'Breaking through to the other side'

What can i say, i really like your posts on this board - they are so ...upright and positive
Please pray for us to have the source-code opened up again

for the milk-cult
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Old 24th September 2008, 11:52   #6
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Sherwin, I have to agree with you, Martin's (Nitorami) presets are like out of this world. Breathtaking! I love Milk. SM
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Old 24th September 2008, 14:11   #7
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Please pray for us to have the source-code opened up againp.
Yes, PLEEAASSEE, then I may finally see Martin's PS3.0 presets. Until then, I'm SOL along with all the other ATI users

Murphey's fighting Occam, and I'm in the stands.
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Old 27th September 2008, 05:56   #8
Sherwin Maxawow
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Hey everyone! I am just getting back here after a few days of not hardly being able to be online at all--- busy!
Anyway, I am really honestly just tickled over some of what I've been reading! Flexi- its so nice to find out from someone like you just how "appreciated" my posts have been. So I really thank you for your positive feedback!
It is really helpful to me... partly just because of the fact that I have so often wondered to myself over how positively my posts are received or how well they have been taken by the people who read them here???"
PLUS...it is very "true" that this little message board for Milkdrop is actually in fact THE ONLY community message board online that I (for whatever reason) allow myself to just.... "go crazy" so to speak, and let loose my inner lunatic of creativity, even pretending that I really am! (and perhaps my "pretending" is more like "liberating" the truth inside to freely express!)
But in any case and for whatever reasons this is the only board I write posts on, where I actually make a REAL creative effort inside.... to try my best to write & make my posts here just as "colorful" and amusing as the milkdrop presets you all create, which you all try your best to make as colorful and amusing as possible!
AND My God, WOW... I honestly have never looked at it like that before! Here I am suddenly thinking over what an absolutely perfect metaphoric example I just used, comparing my posts to your presets!
I am honestly too dumb, or at least too impatient (among other things) to take the time (which I don't seem to have enough of) to actually learn how to write a totally original Sherwin Maxawow MD preset from scratch! I have tried to teach myself a few times in the past, and I probably could learn if I only had the money to pay for all the bottles of EXCEDRIN!
I would need a tutor or something if I was to learn how to really write a preset from start! I would love to do that but I would definitely need a teacher or someone to help me, and also the TIME itself! I hate "time" and the way this world spends it, and forces us all to spend it.

Flexi....I was really laughing over your comment about the possibility of 'me' being Ryan Geiss in disguise, ha ha! - I only wish that was true, even though I actually do like ME for who I am. But who doesn't wish they could have the same qualities of someone else at times? Ryan Geiss is indeed definitely a person who I truly admire for more multiple reasons, based on what I have read on his own website. I am similar to him in many ways, just from what I have read in his journals on his website. Like I support all of the same causes that he supports, and also my own political views are pretty much identical to his as far as I've read! Its almost been amazing to find out how cool he is, after you have already been such a fan of his visuals for so long! Milkdrop itself has always (to me at least) had this special, almost "divine" quality to it or GLOW that went beyond the pretty colors on the screen.....or rather making the colors look even prettier, somehow!
Then I come to find out that Ryan Geiss is an awesome person, and like probably someone I could be best friends with if I lived close to him, or someone I would definitely click with for sure, like kindred spirits or something! Then I think.....well now maybe that is what made Milkdrop GLOW somehow, or what made it have some divine 'essence'...that I always saw in it over the years? Perhaps it wasnt Milkdrop, but rather it was that man behind the curtain??? Maybe it was Ryan Geiss! WHY.... THAT LITTLE WEASLE!!! (haha... kidding) But I do think its interesting either way, and something that is worth sharing here.
Speaking of similarities with Geiss, they do differ greatly when it comes to other things---like technical things.....such as "MATH" and such! And as far as computer related skills go... I am about as similar to Ryan Geiss as......hhmmm I would say, Albert Einstein is to "Mokie" the chimpanzee at the city zoo! Mokie says-- "hohee-he-hee eee ooh oooo hee hee heee--(then screaming)- eeEEEEEEE!--HEEEHEEE EEHEE!!!!" Sheesh!

I am not Geiss, that is for sure. But I would be honored just to be his friend in life!

I actually once had a pretty high IQ when I was younger. Then I nearly died in the hospital back 1996 after a major surgery to remove a "bowel obstruction". - And It was after the surgery when they nearly lost me due to an infection that got into my blood stream.
My parents were told I was simply NOT going to make it, and they told me that it was amazing I did make it! There is much more to the story than I am writing here, and its complicated to try and go into it.
But long story short, --- since my almost "dying" in the hospital back in 96-- I really lost some "cognitive functions" or mental abilities. Suddenly for the first time in my life found out what it was like to STRUGGLE just to "express" my own thoughts or feelings in articulate way in which I always used to do so easily! Not only that but I struggled with a variety of different things that had previously always come so easy. Even simple things. It was like I lost a good '%' of what was once a very high functioning brain! Or rather I had a mild case of BRAIN DAMAGE!

However, as I have learned.... the brain can be re-wired! Its taken me over 10 years to do just that, and I am not finished yet and never will be in my life. Plus they have proven that the brain can grow new cells or new pathways too!
But still... my mental faculties are still nothing close to where their functioning level was PRE-Feb. 1996!
But I now realize something marvelous! I have gained much more than I ever lost!
Nowadays....I am at a new level of understanding myself and my life in general.....and I have come realize that INTELLIGENCE is not simply a product of how many functional brain cells we have access to! I have learned a very deep and amazing secret of true intelligence itself, and I am always open and eager to share with any interested soul! And that soul wouldn't be disappointed or let down, or especially not BORED! I also express myself and communicate in the language of CLARITY.....so anyone interested, with the patience to follow or listen.....would not be left confused either! What word would be the opposite of confusion? I'm not sure, but I think it starts with an e. Anyway......I always love to share cool stuff I have discovered in my travels.

Speaking of "Brain Damage"......I was just listening to The Dark Side of the Moon with a friend a few days ago in memorial respects to Rick Wright who died last week, and was one of the great composers of Pink Floyd.
But anyway, I was born in 11/17 "1973" which was the year "Dark Side of the Moon" was released, which is one of the greatest and best selling albums in history! And I was at the park the other day........ya know, and while I was there I was sitting on the grass.....and I just wanted to say that!

I hope you all can get my warped silly humor!

One last thing.....I am not as into "drugs" as perhaps I have made myself out to be seen as by some of you. I really don't even smoke weed! Yet the only drug I would really endorse for anyone on earth,.....and the only one I myself would jump at the opportunity to do again is MUSHROOMS!
I didn't really like Acid that much, and I felt it had too many negative side effects for me to want to continue experimenting with it. Yet once I discovered mushrooms......it was like I discovered God's secret gift to man, and the only drug worth doing...period! That is my opinion anyway! I realized it as a spiritual tool, and spiritual candy at the same time......like spiritual steroids!
The very few times I have eaten mushrooms in the past have been in Florida and in Washington state,and each experience was nothing but positive, without any down side or negative quality attached. It also cured me of my small OCD problems.. and now I learn (on Google) that the FDA has been allowing research to go on for using psilocybin mushrooms to be used for OCD treatment!
But anyway, I just wanted to clarify who I really am and clarify how far my relationship with drugs really goes! I don't believe in drugs of addiction at all! I think some things in nature are or can be used as powerful tools of the inner self, or self development! But LSD to me is just not in the same class as mushrooms from my experience. Neither is marijuana......especially when you are like me and VALUE all the short term memory you have left!!!!
But shrooms......now that to me is like the magic key! Yet I don't need to do them again, and I'll be fine even if I never do them again. But will I pass up the opportunity if I found some in nature or a friend had some to give me again? hahaha! Does a 5 year old kid pass up a trip to Disneyland?
By the way......I learned that GOD is not boring, but that God is the opposite of boring and that Disney world is boring compared to GOD! I learned that on shrooms! But its only because of what I first learned back in 1996, which has taken me 10+ years to finally grow into understanding!

But anyway, I really am quite "open" to sharing all of what I mentioned....and all that I have learned for myself...some of which is pretty darn cool! I honestly, genuinely try my best to share with anyone and all people who are interested in what I have to share. And all those I have shared with, have never been left disapointed but quite the opposite and people have encouraged me to write a book or something which is what I want to do eventually. My sharing with others is good in that I get people's feedback on it, which is always helpful and needed if I ever will write a book. But I think in order for that to ever happen I would need either a Co-author or scribe of some sort....just because writing for me is not as easy as you might think it is. And its definitely not as easy for me as SPEAKING vocally is for me.
I believe in sharing FREELY, and nothing held back no matter how cool or original it may be. I believe that Freely is the key word....and the more I give or share freely, the more I seem to gain freely in return somehow. And I also just like to help others anyway I can.....and for me to add any insights or dare I say "enlightement" to someone else's life is definitely what I am all about, or hope to do accomplish. For example if I can help someone else here learn how to tap into more of their own personal gifts and creative intelligence or light......then I feel like I have helped the world somehow......and perhaps, maybe could reflect in even better and better presets for Milkdrop! Ahh presets, those awesome presets! "And God Smiled down upon Milkdrop, and said IT IS GOOD! (hehe)

But I really do have some cool stuff worth sharing for anyone who is interested, regarding what I've learned about true intelligence and the source of real creativity! Its not just what I am believing I have to share, but as I've said....what other people have expressed to me in their feedback to what I've shared many times in the past already. So any open mind, which is interested is welcome to ask me to share and share I shall, and I shall SHALL, as I SHOULD! Or I'm not Sherwin Maxawow......lunatic of the Milkdrop message boards!

Anyway, thanks again "Flexi" for letting me know that I am actually a welcomed presence here! That really is great for you to tell me that!
Oh and StudioMusic- I have always loved your presets, and its really good to see you still around. Thank you for your reply as well.

I feel I have to say so much since I have been such a stranger, but I'm gonna really try to come around more often.

OK, Sherwin Maxawow needs rest now. Big time!

Walking right along that--thin--fine--line- in between -GENIUS & iNsAniTy-...like a tightrope!

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Old 27th September 2008, 07:00   #9
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By the way...... I was wondering if you, Flexi...or anyone else could point me to some more great new presets to download? I have already downloaded a few from past posts, and some were pretty good.....but some others were not so good. Yet that martin (Nitorami) guy was....HOLY MOLY! WOW!

I also really often find myself going back to many of the simplistic Geiss originals that are just wave-forms dancing to the music....and I occassionally find myself wishing that more people would maybe try going back to those simple basics a bit, but adding "newness" to them. You know what I mean? I mean, keep on with the totally ORIGINAL stuff for sure! But its often nice to see the old classic, simple presets from Geiss pop up on the screen in between all the rest. I also really adore some of Adderassi's older stuff like his "Kevlar Tunnel" for instance, which I had to make copies of...amung a few others of his. Flexi's Ferny Ernie and your "Jelly" mixes are real hits to me also...to name a couple!

As far as Geiss's new presets go....I cant get enough of his "Cauldron - Painterly 3" through "Painterly 5" which is just simple yet awesome! The same goes for his 3 Layers presets! I could go on and on regarding which presets are beyond a "5 rating" to the point of making multiple copies of them!
Anyway, just thought I would let you know some of my opinions and what I would like to see more of. But by all means please do go ahead with your own creative inspirations. I only wish I had the ability or the time and patience to create some of my own.
But perhaps, maybe someone cool like Flexi could work with me to help me create something that could honestly have the name "Sherwin Maxawow" as being a co-creator or co-author of it. That would be cool.

Walking right along that--thin--fine--line- in between -GENIUS & iNsAniTy-...like a tightrope!
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Old 27th September 2008, 09:59   #10
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Quote:
I was just listening to The Dark Side of the Moon with a friend a few days ago in memorial respects to Rick Wright who died last week, and was one of the great composers of Pink Floyd.
But anyway, I was born in 11/17 "1973" which was the year "Dark Side of the Moon"
very fine album. But wasn't it the disillusionistic one after Syd Barret was going mad and craved into isolation? My Dad is a great Pink Floyd fan and that rubbed off on to me
I for my kind am born december 24th 1983 - the year of Microsoft Windows1.0 was launched and Pioneer10 was leaving our solar system.

I was prettily touched, when i read about your time 1996 since there's another parallel to me. In the middle of 1997 i had an accident with a firecracker that i built myself. It exploded in my hand and about 50 stones of about 1-3mm were blasted into my face. Damn luck, that it didn't hit both eyes. You know? Just the typical bad example, which you tell kids as deterrence. In the following two years the doctors tried and tried with many operations to save my eye, but as i was a 13-15 year old boy my body reacted strongly with cicatrices on my retina, which in the end blinded my eye over a creeping process with many many times in hospital. With the last operation i got a glass eye. btw: i still have some little stones in the eyelid and eyebrow of my intact eye. these 2 years and the following were really hard for me: i not only lost one eye but also the connection to my same-old friends and i was becoming the mobbing victim in school. But after that all, today i'm feeling superior - this time made me really really tough and i can only agree with you in the term of "i gained so much from it". The first time after my accident i had of course problems with 3D viewing, i poured water behind of or in front of my glass and i run against things. But Today i play badminton better than a lot of two-eyed people and on another thread i already told that the visual acuity of my healthy eye was measured as up to 200%, then the device was at its limit, so i know very immediate about the power of rewiring of the brain.
My secret theory is, that this wiring does never end and it goes beyond your physical neurons. We are all connected to something bigger and what we all share. Some call it spiritualism, some call it the matrix, and others might never be able to feel it because they cut scars in their open-mindedness. I think it is quite the same what you meant by GOD - in my terminology it is an attractor. It's the oldest self-runner of the universe, the meta-form of life. But somehow we are all egos who were never told, that we only must reconnect to achieve anything.

Quote:
The economic anarchy of capitalist society as it exists today is, in my opinion, the real source of the evil. We see before us a huge community of producers the members of which are unceasingly striving to deprive each other of the fruits of their collective labor — not by force, but on the whole in faithful compliance with legally established rules.
I am convinced there is only one way to eliminate these grave evils, namely through the establishment of a socialist economy, accompanied by an educational system which would be oriented toward social goals.
Spoiler: Albert Einstein
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Old 28th September 2008, 05:41   #11
Sherwin Maxawow
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Right on, Flexi....and thanks for sharing your own experience about rising above adversity in your life. I really appreciated it a lot, and I think those kinds of stories are always worth sharing with people no matter what!
True stories of the kind you and I have shared here, are what I have found that people in general are very much in need of hearing in the world! And perhaps much more so than we would normally realize or guess!
Whenever I share my own experiences--(with those who are genuinely interested that is) -I've been so surprised and sometimes even amazed over what kind feedback and responses expressing such genuine gratitude over my story! The appreciation is almost always so overwhelmingly positive and good, thanking me for sharing my story! And I never would have thought it would have such an impact myself! To me its been part of my life, and so no big deal. Yet people have needed to hear about it, and I've since come to the conclusion that its kind of my moral duty of obligation to share whenever I can....with who ever is interested. Plus....I like to be a good speaker and I like to practice being good at expressing myself.....and so its good for me too.
But I think its good that we all learn how to open up and share our personal experiences.....and come to learn that they really arent as "personal" or unique as we thought they were......and then we learn that we are definitely NOT as ALONE in our experiences.....and its always good to know that there are many people around us who can relate and understand what we are going through, or what we have gone through!
The world needs to know its not alone, and if we could all feel a little less alone, and a little more connected to each other by our experiences which only happens through our openly sharing them, which either helps inspire others or helps them know they aren't as alone as they thought. I believe it all adds up, in towards helping the world out of its misery and loneliness.
I read an amazing book, which is (according to the author) a true story or an account of a most unusual conversation he had with this man who seemed to know...like EVERYTHING! The book is more or less a "transcript" of this unique and frankly AMAZING conversation he had with this man who seemed to be otherworldly in both his knowledge, and also in how he presented himself.....like just the "peace" in his eyes, with a "hint of sparkling amusement" or humor he had behind his eyes.....which the author said just totally blew him away. The author's own words said it like...."I have never seen a man look so perfectly, and deeply at PEACE-- within himself, as this man" And "yet it was more than just peace, but it was as if there was behind it, a secret, sparkling amusement or joy, that made the author just love him right away!" The man was extraordinary in every way other than his looks which were normal, and he could have been in his early 70's...but very healthy and his skin was white, and hair was totally WHITE.....wearing all black....a suit jacket and a turtleneck all very nice looking, from how he described him.
But it was this man's knowledge which makes the book a JAW DROPPING WOWER! The author said that he "seemed as familiar with the world of the "dead" or what really happens when you die" -- as we all are familiar with normal LIFE! Not only that, but he explained it.....as in how it all "works", down to a science! Its a bit "shaking" as it really shakes you up some of this book, but not in a bad way.

Anyway, I believe the author to be a rock solid, honest person.....and I am very skeptical when it comes to practically anything new. I really TEST whatever I am given and, believe me....I have gone beyond testing this author....since I have read his work for years....going back to the 80s. But people have called him a liar....and yet none have ever proved that to be true. However, he has maintained his own over the years.....passing polygraph tests and such. Plus....when you get to know a person the way I have gotten to know this author,.......you just feel an honest heart. Unless you are a person who has no intuitive sense at all, and you are suspicious of everything. I have proven myself again and again, whenever I come to the FULL head-nodding absolutely 100% positive about someone being HONEST or full of it.......then I would bet my life on it. And it takes A LOT before I finally give someone such a absolute approval and my full endoresment. But I still leave the QUESTION mark open! Always. In other words.....I am not a sponge but I am open minded and cautiously skeptical at the same time.
As far the book goes......its incredible regardless of anything else. The insights or concepts in it blow your mind, and they make perfect sense.
One quote from it is that "Every sin, and sorrow as well as every joy is shared by ALL.....all are responsible for all, all are dependent upon all. Humanity is One"

Much of the book talks all about how connected we are, and how we realize this completely when we die! He explains that if this world fails,, and we fail to reach "ecstasy" of God.....then the pain he feels inside will last forever, and he explains its the pain that is in this world which is what he is referring to. Its the pain that we all will eventually realize we are all connected to....and its what is weighing us all down, and keep us from all rising up to "ecstasy" which the man also explains, or defines down to a science!
I just don't like sharing stuff that some people have already decided or made up their minds about, and have chosen to "spit" on! I am not afraid to DEBATE and that is something I would do with people like that, and I would WIN. But its a matter of having more important things to spend my energy on, instead of wasting it on arguing with people who wont change their position unless they have proof of something.....and most of the universe is UN-provable! But that doesn't keep me from finding my own ways of finding proof to my own satisfaction, and their are levels of consciousness found in meditation that I only wish everyone could discover.
So anyway, that is why I am holding back rather than give out the author's name and book title. BUT YES....he a very well known author and good friends with Art Bell. But he has been crucified by the media when he first wrote of his own personal experience in the mid 80's. which really happened. I can go into all the reasons why I know it really did happen, and the evidence is there on the table for anyone to see.
Some people just don't want to open their eyes to certain things, and these people are known as- fools.

I didn't mean to go on a long rant, but it happens!

Man....why do my posts have to always be so loooong???!

Walking right along that--thin--fine--line- in between -GENIUS & iNsAniTy-...like a tightrope!
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Old 28th September 2008, 11:26   #12
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBEx2xHLDjE

Quote:
Sometimes the person who is the most logical is the person whom we call insane.
(Kevin Spacey as Prot in the movie K-PAX)

i guess your posts are getting so long because of me: I stumbled now upon some answers, that i were long time enough quite sure about, but now i am more and more convinced of it. I can sum some of your concepts up again in my mathematical terms, which i was always interested of and it goes like this: self-similarity and scale-invariance. I see the universe as a closed dynamic system, which is a) showing equal characteristics on different scales of physical characteristics like electrons spinning around the nucleus as planets spin around stars and b) the manifestation of a logical calculus that goes beyond finity. I don't want to annoy anyone with all my criss-crossing mathematical analogies to life. You're blessed with a consciousness to get your own ideas on this. (or just wait till 2012)
Quote:
God is always running geometry.
Plato ~400 BC
(take his allegory of the cave and realize, that you can't stare into sun unless you want to get blinded, you need to see through the mirror)

When it comes to the topic of dieing, i must admit i didn't care of making too much thoughts on it, i rather listen to others, what they think of it.
If you don't know it yet, you definitely have to watch Andy Plausch's Last Lecture.
Another more indirect winking attempt is to find in this music video: mono für alle - vision von der unsterblichkeit (english subtitles), which a friend of mine repeatedly sent me the last days.

Quote:
I want to tell you something Mark, something you do not yet know, but we K-Paxians have been around long enough to have discovered. The universe will expand, and it will collapse back on itself, then will expand again. It will repeat this process forever. What you don't know is that when the universe expands again, everything will be as it is now. Whatever mistakes you make this time around, you will live through on your next pass. Every mistake you make, you will live through again, and again, forever. So my advice to you is to get it right this time around. Because this time is all you have.
Quote:
and most of the universe is UN-provable
But it's fun to prove it though!

Quote:
Some people just don't want to open their eyes to certain things, and these people are known as- fools.
Oh no, there are no fools - they just can't do for some reason. There are forces in the world, that try to countersteer against our drive to unity for egoistical values (which on the other hand maybe accelerate the whole process). One of them is also known as capitalism. Read Joseph Weizenbaums "Computer Power and Human Reason", in which he describes how modern technology is cutting peoples minds off their ability to feel responsibility.

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Old 29th September 2008, 02:50   #13
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Yes...I stand corrected. You are right about that Flexi, and I was wrong to call them "fools"....and I really need to try to be a little less harsh in my words in regards to anyone, no matter how they are. Its really not the real ME to come out in that way, but its just a reflection of my own past frustrations in my dealing with those kinds of people.
You may be correct in what you said---->> "they just can't do for some reason. There are forces in the world, that try to countersteer against our drive to unity for egoistical values (which on the other hand maybe accelerate the whole process)."<<<<

Although its quite a step for me to actually, honestly be open to the idea that perhaps people like really are like you say-- simply UNABLE to go outside their own box, and just like them we all have our "limits" of how far we can go beyond our own understandings of what we call "REALITY".

And since I just now reminded myself of the opening of a certain TV show, I must take a moment of this post to recite the opening words of that famous show. Anybody who guesses the name of it first WINS a PRIZE!!!! Seriously, they will WIN something from me, and it will be SPECIAL!

(spooky, trippy music).... "MAN LIVES, in the sunlit WORLD of WHAT he BELIEVES TO BE, REALITY. - BUT, there is.... unseen by most, an UNDERWORLD-- a place that is just as REAL...-- BUT NOT as brightly LIT!!! A DARK SIDE!"

And that intro has for me always been by far the most SCARY tv show intro ever made! Not only that, but some of its episodes were fucking scary....like twisted nightmares....and so very DARK!
I have not officially said what the show's name was, but I practically have already......and if nobody here knows it then I will seriously flip out! I'll think I am in one of the episodes of that classic and oh so DARK TV SHOW! But the prize is still up for grabs! And boy oh boy...it is a beauty!
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Old 29th September 2008, 04:44   #14
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Another interesting thought on perspective, and how we all have a "blind spot" or else multiple blind spots getting in the way of our view of reality.
I think some of these human 'blind spots' are universally embedded into our human condition. Like collectively we all cannot see the forest for the trees. But it goes down from that into the personal, individualized blind spots which varies from person to person, or "fool to fool".....(kidding)!
But that is why we all need each others help to see "the forest" better....so that maybe one day we all can find our way out of these God forsaken WOODS!
I dont think are are out of the woods just yet, but Obama winning the election will be a step closer for sure!



But going back to blind spots..... I have learned to always be very open to how other people see me as a person, and curious about how people view me & my personality etc. Because for one thing, I personally find it very interesting! But mainly because it is always very helpful to me, and useful for guiding me in my own growth and personal developement in becoming a better person.

Its almost natural for people to avoid facing any of their own 'flaws' or even being open to their own "possible faults" or imperfections is something which most people arent very good at, and choose to either look away from those possibilities - "turning a blind eye" to their faults....which most people are afraid to even look at, and go to great lengths in defending themselves, or rationalizing what someone else might be calling them on! People are much more into focusing on ALL that they do RIGHT and how justified they are as being GOOD HUMAN BEINGS....who are certainly going to go to Heaven when they die! And by God, you better get out of their way when those gates are opened....unless you want to be run over! Everyone is good, and everyone is justified in what they do....of course! Other wise people would not do what they do! And getting to Heaven (metaphorically speaking) is something that often requires stepping on top of someone else's head (with boots on) if that is the only way of reaching up that high! But righteousness is what everyone lives in.....and SIN is what "sinners" do and certainly not me! --- That is an example of how many people are in this world, and I know its not quite that black & white, but you get my point?

Now speaking of "SIN".......lets suppose its not such a bad thing to recognize? What good does it do for us to only look at what we do right in life? Why not focus on what we could do better, or how we can improve. What if we could be in a mode of FEARLESSLY open to always recognizing our flaws and imperfections? After all, that is the first key towards changing them and becoming a better person.
I have learned over time to practice being fearless when it comes to seeing my flaws. And instead of seeing my flaws or faults as something negative, or bad......I will actually see them as actually being POSITIVE--- like EURICA!!!-- I found another "KEY" to making a better ME! AAH..I just found another fault of MINE--- Hurray! That is the piece I was looking for!
MY how wonderful!- I am discovering myself to be such a FUCK UP! RIGHT ON! AND Thank you GOD! Now maybe I can actually, possibly "avoid" going to hell! AWESOME! In fact...now that I have found the missing "key" to changing my course in life for the better, well I might just make it to HEAVEN! AHAA! Praise GOD! Thank you, Jesus! Thanks for helping me to see just how screwed up I really am! And the truth will set me free! Now that I found the problem.....I can fix that bastard! Yipppee!
Am I really beating this joke to death, or am I?


Anyway, that is what I have been trying to practice.....being kind of a reverse mode of the normal human pattern. I am not perfect at it, but as far as I have practiced it I have found it really works amazingly well. Problems or flaws dont need to be negative, frightening things that we shun away from looking at. If we can embrace them like they are "gold nuggets" which can be traded in to eventual riches--- well then. You see?


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Old 29th September 2008, 04:48   #15
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But how about them martin presets!?? Milkdrop is great! I have been making some cool mix'n mashups!

I just wanted to come back to what this board is really about, and Milkdrop is THE BEST!

Walking right along that--thin--fine--line- in between -GENIUS & iNsAniTy-...like a tightrope!
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Old 29th September 2008, 09:09   #16
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too easy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnE3-0X-174

(google knows everything)
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Old 29th September 2008, 10:26   #17
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Flexi, that is so funny and kind of amazing too! I did not have those opening words memorized off the top of my head, and so guess what EXACT SAME page on 'youtube' that I ended up turning to so that I could LISTEN to the opening of the show, just so I'd get the words right! Seriously, the very same damn page, posted by the same "publicposter" dude with his alien face logo and all! A little bit interesting I think to myself.... and really, considering how many posts have been put up on YouTube of the famous Intro to "Tales from the Darkside" -- not to mention how many other places on google I could have found the words or the "lyrics" that could be found at probably so many places on the web.
BUT NO NO!!! WE BOTH HAD TO GO TO THE EXACT PAGE ON YOUTUBE. Of course! Though it honestly doesnt really surprise me. Not these days, nope.

Walking right along that--thin--fine--line- in between -GENIUS & iNsAniTy-...like a tightrope!
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Old 29th September 2008, 11:29   #18
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk41Gbjljfo
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Old 3rd October 2008, 12:04   #19
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I just decided that I just gotta have the last word!

Porky PIG says- "Idily-idilyidly--- THAT's ALL FOLKS!


Run the closing credits.

THE END!



Thank you all for tuning in to this thread, and we hope to see you all again sometime soon!

See ya all next time, for another thrilling episode of....

--"THE ADVENTERS of SHERWIN MAXAWOW and FLEXI"!--

Roll credits....and play theme song. (remember the melody of THE A TEAM)


If you have more to add Flexi....so help me GOD! (haha)
Just kidding.
I honestly dont care. I hope people don't take this seriously, thinking I am really that "OCD" controlling!
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Old 3rd October 2008, 12:09   #20
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Besides, I will be starting a new thread shortly! YES... FOR REAL!!!!

Keep an eye out!

Walking right along that--thin--fine--line- in between -GENIUS & iNsAniTy-...like a tightrope!
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Old 3rd October 2008, 17:12   #22
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Nice videos there Flexi, tho I am not very familiar with the artists. But good music, and interesting visuals to match.

-------------------------------

On a serious note......my life is going through a real wheel of an ordeal, and its about as real as real gets. Its about as serious as serious gets too.

I am just at this major turning point in life... or like a major cross roads, in which everything in general could go up and get better and better... or else the other way. It is not an easy story to explain, and complicated too.
But things are really serious and I just wanted to let you know that, since I never express anything but silliness here..which is therapeutic.

But now you have just real HINT of the real reality of where I am in life right now.
So perhaps you can just keep me in your heart or prayers?

I would try to explain it all in more detail another time.... if you were really interested.

Right now I gotta run!

Walking right along that--thin--fine--line- in between -GENIUS & iNsAniTy-...like a tightrope!
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Old 3rd October 2008, 17:54   #23
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most of us here seem to be going through some pretty rough times in our lives, which is normal. What makes us different is the way we address such events. Welcome to some of the best therapy available, free of charge. Milkdrop does wonders to remove yourself from reality just enough to take a step back and observe reality from 3rd person perspective (something everyone needs). It has become one of my favorite meditation tools, and although I am slow to catch on, learning to mess with them a bit further than mashing is much more rewarding. I am still not very good, but by starting off with a printed copy of the MD tutorial and a high lighter, then simply editing previously created presets/mashes I have learned a bit. I can only imagine the glow all of the seasoned vet's here achieve after they've produced a preset that is simply mind blowing. Anyway, glad you're here, and everyone else, too.

(btw; anyone sorting their preset library? Mine is currently at 18,054 files, and I don't think milkdrop likes it)

^_^ Don't Panic!! ^_^
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Old 3rd October 2008, 18:04   #24
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I can't deny that i am interested, but only if you really want to. I keep my fingers crossed for you!
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Old 3rd October 2008, 18:54   #25
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o.O teh revenge of tacolobster
Attached Files
File Type: zip tacolobster.zip (6.2 KB, 217 views)

^_^ Don't Panic!! ^_^
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Old 8th October 2008, 09:06   #26
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I am about to embark on something that I hope and pray will help me to help myself. Its not a magic bullet, but its the closest to it the world has ever seen.

I see it only as a powerful tool or like a "facilitator" to help a person change his or her life, and its better than conventional treatments.


Anyone ever heard of something called IBOGAINE??? Its a do or die thing for me, because I cannot keep going on the way I have been. So I am preparing myself in everyway possible. I just hope my sharing doesnt like take any positive energy way. You cannot help feeling worried when its you ENTIRE LIFE on the LINE. So please EVERYONE WHO READS.....wish for me the best in your hearts.

I could go into more details, but google is full of information. Plus, YOU need to watch
"Ibogaine - Rite of Passage" ....on youtube. Its a six part documentary, and I believe its 'award winning' as well.
There are also plenty of other videos on Youtube that are very informative and worth watching. Its finally starting to become widely known.

Thanks for any positive feelings of encouragement sent my way. I sure do appreciate and need all I can get.

My family (parents, & siblings) are not very supportive.

Walking right along that--thin--fine--line- in between -GENIUS & iNsAniTy-...like a tightrope!
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Old 8th October 2008, 13:16   #27
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who tells you can't go further? I mean, i've seen a lot of drama and i'm still standing. Yes please go more into detail. What's the matter with you?
Quote:
I gotta run
everyone has to. and my life in special also has more in common with a treadmill than a pleasurable ride, the trick is to make the best of what you have.
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Old 8th October 2008, 19:39   #28
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I have seen ibogaine completely flip a good friends life around when it seemed like he had no hope whatsoever. It is indeed a powerful substance, but it should be greatly respected and used for therapeutic purposes only! This is not a lie or an exaggeration, but if you are considering such an option I STRONGLY suggest doing a lot of research on the correct method to do this. My friend "SWIM" was taken to a highly wooded area in Canada by one other friend, where they spent a week camping. When he came back he was free from the majority of his bad energy (and habits), but it isn't a permanent fix. Swim gradually slipped back in to his old ways, which was very very sad. So it does have the potential to put you on the right path, but to persevere it seems there must be some continued healing after such an experience.

Life's a trip man, and I sincerely hope for the best for you. Just try not to let it overwhelm you, take it one day at a time, and do the best you can. Good things will happen to you.

^_^ Don't Panic!! ^_^
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Old 10th October 2008, 05:02   #29
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Thanks Flexi....and sorry that is so very true these days. EVERYONE has "GOTTA RUN" and its horse shit, and sad because we need to be more connected and spend more time with each other! But nobody has TIME!
So forgive me.....because I really don't wish to "Blow YOU or anyone OFF" and that is NEVER my intention! I appreciate so much, the warm feelings I have felt here.....and those kinds of things mean the most to me, more than anything else. You Flexi, (and everyone else here) are NOT just people online to me, but you are REAL PEOPLE in the same real world I am fighting my way through each day! So I just wanted you to know where my heart really is! Its hard for me to write sometimes, about something that I am so-----presently in the middle of. I will do my best to share and be open with you all as much as you all are interested tho.


Hexcollie.... I really do appreciate your input! I actually have spent the past four years researching IBOGAINE, and I have actually TALKED (on the phone) personally to someone named 'Howard Lotsoff' (believe it or not) who was actually working with my dad on starting up a "free" ibogaine clinic, located just across the border of Texas.
My dad is a Retired army Col. and worked as an MSW (Social Worker) and finally (after watching the documentary Ibogaine- RITE OF PASSAGE) he lost his skepticism. Yet my parents are kind of like - not so cool- -- just to put in a nice way.

I have been on disability since 1996, and due to all my surgeries (total of 14) for Crohn's disease (which I have been symptom free from, since 2001....and I am now very healthy and a-- health NUT--vitamin freak/drug addict).
But because of the past, and all the surgeries.....I now have a permanent BAG I have to wear for life. But don't worry, because I have gotten over it. I I mean, there are people who are in wheelchairs and worse!
And besides its an "ileostomy" which is not 'quite' as bad as a Colostomy-which hooks up to the large intestine.
I have NO large intestine anymore. An 'ileostomy' is the same only that its connected to the small intestine, which makes it less conspicuous...and noticeable.
But because of new medical advances, its especially not very noticeable for me, and people never would guess I had it unless I told them or unless they saw me in like a speedo! I can even go swimming and people dont even notice it. But its still not anything cool.
I am very glad some girls can look past it too, thank the Lord God. I am only in love with one.
I was suicidal for several years, when it turned out they had to make it permanent!
Now I cant believe I opened up about that! But there it is.
Ibogaine---I should have done already. Especially since my mom and dad were both corresponding with great, and semi famous "Howard Lotsoff"--- who is also a very cool guy!

But its a long and frustrating story....part of it is that my dad himself suffers with low grade depression and no motivation to do anything besides what he wants to do for himself...(hunting and fishing) And THUS the "project" with him and Lotsoff has gone.... NOWHERE!

My dad's dad died from Alcoholism and he has never touched a drug or drink in his life!
Drinking is not my thing and never has been my thing. Its opiate narcotics that I struggle with, beginning from when I first had them prescribed back in 1993. I nowdays take daily doses of Buprenorphine (Subutex) which I wish to be free from!
I hate being clouded by something that keeps me from my real self, and I now recognize that truth.

Its all really a very long and mixed up story, and much of it is screwed up because I would have already had it done by now.....but I wont start ragging on my dad. - He has his own inner problems and issues, which I must be compassionate towards.
I just wish I had family who really cared like other people seem to have.
I have only given you all a few of the pieces of the story, and the story is still not finished yet, of course!-- and so I am hesitant about giving out all the details to an open public online forum! YOU know??
I am so scared of losing some of the Sacred or spiritual, personal quality--- or like "cheapening" it somehow by BLABBERING all about it... maybe a bit "TOO openly"--just before going to do one of the MOST spiritual and sacred HEALING, like changing experiences on EARTH!
So forgive me for feeling a bit--- u know- scared! I want to succeed so bad, and if I don't......I probably wont live long.
Fact is: I will do Ibgaine very soon. And I am very spiritual already, and I will be doing it to change my LIFE......not just to go try it out casually. I have heard that, (to an extent) you get out of it what you put into it.
I am going into it, being totally, completely 100%! All or nothing. No "half-way" crap!
It cant be any other way for me, and I have so much planned for what comes after it, as far as like "after care" and learning to live a NEW LIFE, and new ways of living it...."good" habits and such. I am not taking anything about this lightly, and I am praying more than ever. God is with me, and you know HE is when you feel a soft PEACE INSIDE. Its NICE, and I am very hopeful. If you all only KNEW the extent of my past and my drug addictions! There is more I could share, and I will eventually....perhaps.
I had a rough life, and I deal with some OCD, generalized Anxiety....and mood swings which I believe are based on my habits of THINKING.

Four years I have been waiting for this, and the Deborah Mash's screening session I had down in Miami, told me that "Ibogaine would probably fit me like a glove" and that was back in 2004 when I first learned of it. But my parents lacked the 10 grand it cost at the time, and they didnt believe in such a "magic cure"! But now they understand.

So HONESTLY, all your positive thoughts, or prayers are truly welcomed by me.

Any further comments or feedback is also welcome.

Thanks.

PM are too!

Walking right along that--thin--fine--line- in between -GENIUS & iNsAniTy-...like a tightrope!

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Old 10th October 2008, 05:24   #30
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I hope you all realize this is very touchy stuff, and I am really going out on a limb by sharing this all with you.

I may take a break from these boards. I may have to. But friends are always welcome.

Walking right along that--thin--fine--line- in between -GENIUS & iNsAniTy-...like a tightrope!
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Old 10th October 2008, 09:30   #31
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