Old 18th March 2007, 20:02   #1
Triton4
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Meeting women in bars/clubs

How are the bars or clubs in America? I heard from people that it is not as good as it seems - the only people who go to bars are the ones who want to desperately get laid. And I heard that single women (or even single men) never frequent bars, because the people who approach them are jerks looking for only that one thing.

Is it true? Is it not possible to meet good single women in American bars (or good single men, from a female's perspective)?
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Old 18th March 2007, 21:06   #2
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Dude, I'm 17, and even I know that you won't be meeting the love of your life in a bar.

However, I'm not fucked about that, and I'm looking forward to the clubs at uni, what with the £2 quad vodkas and all.




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Old 18th March 2007, 21:20   #3
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One more year......

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Old 18th March 2007, 21:47   #4
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That's strange, what do people do if they don't go to bars?

As for meeting people in bars, I find it quite difficult; I usually need an "in" of some kind before I'll start talking to people. It's funny because I know I'd find it very nice if a girl came up and talked to me, but for some reason if I did it I'd be petrified it'd come across as kinda creepy. I have friends who are apt at helping me with this sort of complex human interaction in any case .

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Old 18th March 2007, 22:43   #5
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You will not meet good women in bars or clubs. Period. I'm sure there's contrary anecdotal evidence, but it's not going to happen. You're better off staying at home than trying to find a meaningful relationship in a bar. Of course, I suspect that "bar" is a sweeping term that means more to some than others...
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Old 18th March 2007, 23:09   #6
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Yeah, either drinking culture is significantly different over there, or "bar" is something else. A bar's not really the sort of place I'd meet someone, but I've not seen any problem with it myself.

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Old 18th March 2007, 23:54   #7
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I definately would not go to a bar to meet a guy. They are usually alcoholics looking to get laid.... It is hard for professional, semi-emotionally-stable people to find dates. I have tried the dating websites and had a little success but again, there are a lot of guys on the internet just looking to get laid.

When I go to bars, it is usually with my girlfriends and we just hang out together and have fun.
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Old 19th March 2007, 00:20   #8
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if you want to 'meet' someone at a bar you have to go to a bar only to socialize with friends of friends, not complete strangers. Its very easy that way. ALL college towns have girls that want to have fun, just not with strangers.
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Old 19th March 2007, 00:24   #9
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Short of those who are miserable alcoholics or have just turned 21, the audience of women in bars are also a bit limited...

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
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Old 19th March 2007, 00:28   #10
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girls do not want to have fun with non assholes. This may also have something to do with the fact that I am anti social. Luckily, I have a girlfriend and don't need to worry about this sort of thing.

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
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Old 19th March 2007, 01:36   #11
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I have good female friends who openly admit to only being attracted to the "wrong" kind of guy.

...and yes, they go to bars.
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Old 19th March 2007, 07:12   #12
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A lot of you seem to treat bars as shitholes where only alky's go to get their fix. How very odd.

Does America not have the binge drinking culture that we have? Or even people who just pop down for a couple of pints and a game of darts?




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Old 19th March 2007, 08:13   #13
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Yea it's weird, no one goes to bars looking for anything meaningful. Clubs are full of club hos and are typically being groped by players just looking for a lay. Women do not typically go to bars looking to get with a man. They know better these days. I have found online dating to be more successful then clubs or bars.
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Old 19th March 2007, 08:42   #14
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I'd rather meet someone in person. Bars don't have to be dives. Clubs have some nice people and some awful people.
Sometimes nice places have people you know who introduce you to others. If we do what we like, skiing, charity work, going to the supermarket, you can meet someone!
It's easier if they're bombed, however!
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Old 19th March 2007, 09:40   #15
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It's easy to pick up women in bars, you just have to know what measure of GHB to slip into their drinks....:whistle:
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Old 19th March 2007, 10:05   #16
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Just act like a dick.

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
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Old 19th March 2007, 10:08   #17
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Just breathe...
I find.."Oh, look! It has a pulse", works fine!
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Old 19th March 2007, 14:24   #18
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Just act like a dick.
Experimentally, I have proven this works. Wouldn't recommend it though.

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Old 19th March 2007, 14:38   #19
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Bars around here aren't for anything meaningful. When I was single (before getting engaged) I never really wanted anything meaningful to come from a bar, just a good time.

It's pretty easy to approach/meet strangers here if you're willing to actually give it a shot. Most people around here will enjoy meeting new people when they're out. It does help to be a bit of an ass though to break the ice, and then bring things back to respectable later.

After all, the last thing a gal wants at a bar is boredom.

If you're looking for a lifemate though, I'd go somewhere else. I met Renee through mutual friends/networking and hosting get-togethers at home.

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 19th March 2007, 14:39   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by mysterious_w
A lot of you seem to treat bars as shitholes where only alky's go to get their fix.
I think with all the drunk driving laws that is about the case. Bars are not what they used to be. Around here they'd be shut down if it wasn't for the revenue from video poker.

I think the bar population of hard core alkys has increased a lot by percentage. "Normies" are discouraged by these tougher laws about public drinking.

So finding women in the bar?. Drunks, hoes or compulsive gamblers are probably what you'll find.
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Old 19th March 2007, 14:44   #21
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shit I accidentally quoted myself when I wanted to do an edit and hit submit before realizing I was just editing a quote.

Most alcoholics around here get drunk at home for cheaper and don't even bother with the bars, although you do see a few at the bar too.

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 19th March 2007, 14:51   #22
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Also, people who go to bars in my state start smoking when they go. It's just what is done. It's so bad that I can't stay in one without a coughing fit and a burning throat. You're at a bar, you drink and you smoke. You're probably borderline alcoholic, as well.

Sad but true fact about Columbia bars.
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Old 19th March 2007, 19:57   #23
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What about nightclubs then?




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Old 19th March 2007, 20:10   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by mysterious_w
What about nightclubs then?
Quote:
Originally posted by Jay
...Clubs are full of club hos and are typically being groped by players just looking for a lay.
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Old 19th March 2007, 21:20   #25
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There are several nice bars that serve food around where I live. Finn McCool's has a nice bar crowd after work.
Louie's Shore Rest. has a great buffet and happy couple of hours. There are many outdoor eateries on the sound that get busy in the summer.
If you want to dance and go nuts, go to the city.
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Old 19th March 2007, 22:54   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by mysterious_w
A lot of you seem to treat bars as shitholes where only alky's go to get their fix. How very odd.

Does America not have the binge drinking culture that we have? Or even people who just pop down for a couple of pints and a game of darts?
I spent a good chunk of time near London (Cheltenham Gloucester actually) in college. I can honestly say that bars and clubs in America are no where near the same as they are in the UK.

I have also spent extended time in Greece and the same holds for Athens, Crete, and Santorini.

Americans simply do not treat booze the same way that Europe does. We are not anywhere near as responsible. You may think that the UK is irresponsible, but wait until you come over here.

Bars are festering shit holes in terms of meeting people. Yeah, I will sometimes go with friends, but I would never dream of trying to meet someone at one.

Clubs are even worse because the people there are generally cracked out on various drugs ...

Yea!!! Good times, yea!!!! No. Not really.
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Old 19th March 2007, 23:45   #27
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Car culture has eliminated Pub culture (or more accurately, Speakeasy culture) on this side of the pond.

For a while they co-existed, it seems, but now we've started to enforce drunk driving laws.


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Old 20th March 2007, 00:32   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mr Jones
It's easy to pick up women in bars, you just have to know what measure of GHB to slip into their drinks....:whistle:
"Does this rag smell like chloroform?"
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Old 20th March 2007, 04:22   #29
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Quote:
Originally posted by mysterious_w
What about nightclubs then?
I'd be interested in hearing the difference between a bar and a nightclub, actually.
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Old 20th March 2007, 04:47   #30
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I would say nightclub is just a very slightly more specific term. I feel that all nightclubs are bars, but not all bars are nightclubs.

I say this because bars usually have 2 basic things - alcohol and socializing. A nightclub adds something, whether it be dancing, members-only, live entertainment, or something extra to add to the drinking and socialization.

Don't forget to live before you die.
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Old 20th March 2007, 06:59   #31
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Quote:
Originally posted by Phyltre
I'd be interested in hearing the difference between a bar and a nightclub, actually.
In the UK a bar (pub), would be somewhere that generally opened it's doors around 7 in the evening, closed at 11, served beer and food etc etc, a place to go have a pint with your mates, watch the game on tv etc

A nightclub, would usually be defined as something that opened it's doors at 11 when the pubs closed, stayed open until about 2/3 in the morning, served really high priced drinks and usually had music blasting out for you to get down and boogie to.

Of course, the licensing laws in the UK have changed now so pubs don't open at 7 and close at 11 anymore, some places are open all day from morning through to night, clubs are open all night and close at dawn.

However, the definitions are still the same regardless of opening times.
Bar / Pub - place for a drink, chat with your buddies, watch the game, watch the occasional live music act, quiz night etc.

Night club, loud music, expensive drinks, open later and longer than most pubs.
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Old 20th March 2007, 09:55   #32
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Quote:
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I spent a good chunk of time near London (Cheltenham Gloucester actually) in college.
Cool! That's where I live, but it's miles away from London
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Old 20th March 2007, 11:48   #33
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Quote:
Originally posted by shakey_snake
Car culture has eliminated Pub culture (or more accurately, Speakeasy culture) on this side of the pond.
I'm not sure "speakeasy culture" is something that's really relevant over here, but it is a bit rubbish that the dependence in the US on cars has killed off pubbin'.

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Old 20th March 2007, 13:09   #34
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We always travel with a "Designated Drag" or take a cab home!
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Old 20th March 2007, 21:56   #35
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Quote:
Originally posted by zootm
I'm not sure "speakeasy culture" is something that's really relevant over here, but it is a bit rubbish that the dependence in the US on cars has killed off pubbin'.
Rubbish indeed. The fatal flaw of this place is the fact that we simply do not have the mass transportation systems in place that europe has. The result: we can't take the tube to a pub.

Or at least most of us can't. Big cities like NYC, Chicago, et al have a good enough transit system. This brings a wider crowd to the bars/clubs. Bars around large cities are the closest you are going to find to a european counterpart. The simple fact that you can drink, have a good time, and not have to worry about getting back brings a different crowd to the bars/clubs.

Actually, when I was in Chicago, I would go to bars regularly. Clubs, as mentioned, are too damn expensive. $12 for a beer. Gah!!!!

Quote:
Originally posted by Schmeet
Cool! That's where I live, but it's miles away from London
Indeed it is. About an hour and a half to two hours by bus, I believe. I figured if I mentioned the actual city, people state side would translate it to some place in the UK; but if I mentioned near London (though technically a fairly BIG lie) they would at least have a general idea.

Anyway, small world. Since being there, you are the only one I have ever met that has lived in Cheltenham Gloucester.
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Old 21st March 2007, 03:02   #36
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As much as I would love mass transit, it just doesn't work outside of major cities. Our local city bus system is hemorrhaging money like nobody's business, to the tune of millions of dollars a year--and even now, it's totally inadequate. If they actually serviced the area evenly, we'd be spending enough on buses to just buy people cars!
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Old 22nd March 2007, 15:14   #37
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Even if you take public transportation, you stand good odds of being arrested for public intoxication if you've been drinking.

"we'd be spending enough on buses to just buy people cars!"

Yeah, Portlands light rail is like that. An article I read figured that for the cost, they could have bought everyone that rode it for the first 5 years a brand new beemer.

Portlands light rail is within walking distance of 2 jails, but it basically doesn't go anywhere anyone would want to go. I use it to go to PGE Park and watch baseball, but it's about useless for shopping etc. I have a park and ride a mile from here, so I'd use the damn thing, if it went anywhere besides jail .

The silicon yuppies are scared of it, and I don't blame them. And you'll still get a mile walk to get to work. So basically, it transports jail inmates very well, from one end of town to the other.

So it sucks for getting around town, but if you needed some smack. to see your probation officer or to get mugged.... it's right up your alley...

Last edited by rockouthippie; 22nd March 2007 at 15:55.
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Old 22nd March 2007, 22:06   #38
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Quote:
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Even if you take public transportation, you stand good odds of being arrested for public intoxication if you've been drinking.
Only if you are acting like an ass. I tend to try not to act like a loud obnoxious idiot when I am hammered. For that exact reason actually --- and you deserve to be arrested if you act like that.

Maybe that should also be a sign that people who do that needed to stop drinking a few drinks before they did.

But who am I to say.

Quote:
Originally posted by Phyltre
As much as I would love mass transit, it just doesn't work outside of major cities. Our local city bus system is hemorrhaging money like nobody's business, to the tune of millions of dollars a year--and even now, it's totally inadequate. If they actually serviced the area evenly, we'd be spending enough on buses to just buy people cars!
I agree with you. It is like that over in the states. What I have seen in europe is noting like our inadequate systems in America.

Look. Basically it comes down to this: America needs to get off the damn crapper and figure something out. Despite our ignorance (aka THE AMERICAN WAY) gas prices are soon going to break us. When we start paying upwards of $6-8 a gallon take a look and see how many people wanna drive; take a look and see how many drivers drive hummers, jeeps, et al. There WILL come a price of gas that americans are simply going to be forced to give up our luxury of driving. When that happens, the transportation systems over here will change; they are going to have to because people will not be able to afford to get to work anymore.

Unfortunately, I dunno how much you have attention you have given gas prices over the past few years here in the states .... but that day is rapidly approaching.
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Old 22nd March 2007, 22:17   #39
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Quote:
Originally posted by rockouthippie
Even if you take public transportation, you stand good odds of being arrested for public intoxication if you've been drinking.
I don't reckon there's enough policemen to arrest even a tenth of the guys out on a weekend if that was the case here.




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Old 22nd March 2007, 22:24   #40
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Quote:
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When we start paying upwards of $6-8 a gallon ...
It will never come to that.
We can refine shale oil ( of which we and Canada have a shitload of) for much less than that.


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