Virginity

[Triton4]

Hey guys, this is a hotly debated topic as we all know, but I would like to know what is your stance on virginity, especially when it comes to abstinence till marriage. What are your views on this?

Should a person remain a virgin till he's married,

or should the person have sex with one who makes him/her feel special & get good practice on it that will help later in marriage,

or should the person be allowed to enjoy the pleasures and natural urges of sex (provided s/he is knowledgeable about it & uses sufficient protection)





P.S. Oh, and for the second option, it is strongly suggested to use protection, but that choice is left entirely upto the couple.

[Mr Jones]

Originally posted by Triton4

Should a person remain a virgin till he's married,

Only if they are living in the year 1801

[Triton4]

Originally posted by Mr Jones
Only if they are living in the year 1801

Then by your definition, nearly 60-70% of Americans are still living in 1801. I know lots of orthodox Christians who believe in that sort of thing

[Mr Jones]

Good for them, they are entitled to their beliefs as I am with mine, as long as we don't try and force them on each other everyone will be fine

[rockouthippie]

Originally posted by Triton4
or should the person be allowed to enjoy the pleasures and natural urges of sex (provided s/he is knowledgeable about it & uses sufficient protection)

What is sufficient protection considering rampant illegitimacy rates and the fact that 20% of us have Herpes?.

It's fine to talk about people being responsible and practicing safe sex. It's obvious people aren't and people don't.

Being a virgin until you got married?. Not the worst idea.

Whatever your choice is, your sexual life does have responsibilities. That is not to create unwanted children and spread disease.

If you have illegitimate children you can't take care of, or if you spread an STD, your conduct was reprehensible in satisfying your selfish needs.

I would be completely liberal about sexual attitudes if the result of this attitude wasn't so destructive to society. We live in an STD epidemic with millions of unwanted children living in poverty.

Wanna cure AIDS?. It could be over tommorrow. Is all it would take is responsible sexual attitudes.

Hell. When I grew up, sex was safe and motorcycles were dangerous

I'm not gonna take the attitude "Thou shalt stay a virgin or meet Gods wrath!'. What I will say is that the popular way that sexual behavior is viewed is irresponsible.

Handing out condoms down at the grade school is not sexual education. It needs to be stressed that this is an adult activity that is primarily for reproduction and has responsibilities.

Why is promiscuity wrong?. It hurts people. If it's not spreading disease or making unwanted children, it's hurtful anyway.

When you swore to love your wife and cheated?. When you played one girl against the next. When they did it to you?. When you knocked up the 16 year old in your class?. When you got/gave an STD?.

How much does it really take for people to understand how important responsibility in this part of your life is?. How much carnage does it take for all of us to realize that this requires more thought than to seek gratification?.

Condoms?. That means you have 90% odds of avoiding unthinkably bad situations.

Those don't seem like good odds.

[zootm]

Be responsible and do what feels right to you. Get educated on the risks and be aware of what you're doing, and you're fine.

If you want to wait until you're married, do that. But there's no problem with not doing that.

[rockouthippie]

Originally posted by zootm
Be responsible and do what feels right to you.

Those should be the same thing. If they aren't, err on the side of responsibility. It's obvious that people don't take enough responsibility for their sexual lives. If they did, there would be no illegitimate children and no STDs.

[zootm]

Well, yes, basically.

[MidnightViper88]

Whichever opportunity comes first, I suppose...

Never really took a view because it's one of those things that I don't really care for...If it happens and I allow it to happen, then it just happened...

[cooky560]

I voted the bottom option, might as well enjoy yourself while you can

[shakey_snake]

Originally posted by Triton4
or should the person be allowed to enjoy the pleasures and natural urges of sex (provided s/he is knowledgeable about it & uses sufficient protection)

I would argue that there is nothing natural about being promiscuous.


option 1.

[CraigF]

I'm all for fun. But even taking account a wholesome view of relationship leading to marriage, sexual compatibility is a big part of a relationship. So I see nothing wrong with either of the bottom two options.

The first option seems a bit stupid to be honest. Arguments about pregnancy and disease are one thing, but thats what education is for.

One thing I was recently made aware of is how poor american sexual education appears to be when compared to european standards, it was actually quite shocking. I'm sure its not the same everywhere, but if your schooling offers little education you should make your own efforts to get educated, and im not talking jumping straight to the practical examination here.

[hgnis]

No such thing as safe sex these days and true scientist will tell you that. Do you really want to go where other men have gone before AND get their viruses?

[shakey_snake]

Originally posted by CraigF
The first option seems a bit stupid to be honest. Arguments about pregnancy and disease are one thing, but thats what education is for.

I can't get over how convoluted and indoctrinated that sounds.

[Warrior of the Light]

Originally posted by hgnis
Do you really want to go where other men have gone before...

QFT

[Mr Jones]

Originally posted by hgnis
Do you really want to go where other men have gone before AND get their viruses?

That's a very swinging and general statement, are you saying that if you sleep with a non virgin you'll go around picking up other peoples viruses? great chat up line that, you'll go far

You might as well say you don't wanna go to hospitals as you might catch some some MRSA virus from another patient, or have the dentist poke around in your mouth because he had his fingers in someone elses mouth only minutes before you, or sit on the same public toilet seat as someone else might have pissed on, or drink out a the same glass that someone might have spat in at the bar.

You simply can't generalise like that, that's how closed minded hysteria starts.

The only safe sex is no sex, but if you wanna apply the same logic then you have to start giving up a heck of a lot more than the occasional rubber protected fumble to keep your health intact.

[zootm]

Originally posted by Mr Jones
The only safe sex is no sex, but if you wanna apply the same logic then you have to start giving up a heck of a lot more than the occasional rubber protected fumble to keep your health intact.

Well said.

Originally posted by shakey_snake
I can't get over how convoluted and indoctrinated that sounds.

"Education allows people to make an informed choice"? How is that indoctrinated?

[Warrior of the Light]

Jones: Still, stirring someone else's youghurt doesn't make me happy - virusses or no virusses

[Mr Jones]

You'll get over it, most people do, if we all hung out for a pure as the driven snow virgin then the human race would have ceased to have existed years ago.

[shakey_snake]

Originally posted by zootm
"Education allows people to make an informed choice"? How is that indoctrinated?

nonono. The "someone else's personal choice is stupid because it's not how I've been taught to handle this situation" part.

[Widdykats]

I live in New York. A lot of people, I know, wouldn't even think of getting married until they established their careers and other life goals!
Some people, like myself, decided not to get married!
People, I know, enjoy sex. Safe sex. They also, like myself, get tested. FOR EVERYTHING!!
In my belief system, God wants us to enjoy our bodies.
Some of you may never get married. Will you stay celebate for your whole lives? Putting such an emphasis on sex, is out of proportion, for me!

[Mr Jones]

Originally posted by Widdykats

Some people, like myself, decided not to get married!

Just you wait, the right tom cat will be along someday, meoooow

[gaekwad2]

Originally posted by shakey_snake
I would argue that there is nothing natural about being promiscuous.


option 1.

There's nothing 'natural' about most aspects of our lives and cultures (and Religions).

[zootm]

Originally posted by shakey_snake
nonono. The "someone else's personal choice is stupid because it's not how I've been taught to handle this situation" part.

Ah, I guess I missed that part the first time over.

I don't have a problem with people who choose not to have sex until they're married, I just don't think it's a practical or safe doctrine to teach or preach to people. If people choose not to have sex, that's fine by me. If people are telling others not to have sex, then I have a problem.

[cooky560]

Originally posted by zootm
Ah, I guess I missed that part the first time over.

I don't have a problem with people who choose not to have sex until they're married, I just don't think it's a practical or safe doctrine to teach or preach to people. If people choose not to have sex, that's fine by me. If people are telling others not to have sex, then I have a problem.

it's much like religion in many ways, if you go about it without bothering anyone else then it's fine, otherwise we have a problem

[Widdykats]

@ Jones
I have met very great "****" (and Dicks and Harrys)
I have had "long term live withs". I like being able to have time to myself...and cat around!
Basically, I'm a serial monogamist! That works for me...
I'm a "whatever floats your boat" kinda cat.
(Don't touch me ,THERE )
What happens to gay people in the scenario of marriage first? Oh, wait..."they" shouldn't have sex.. Or..we as a society could wake up and let them be as unhappy as other married people!

[xzxzzx]

I'd say that the STD/pregnancy risks are not worth it unless you're with a long-term partner (whatever that means to you).

But wait until marriage? Nah. That's putting the ass before the cart. What if you don't like having sex with that person? What if you can't? (Size mismatches (ahem) are very possible.) Marriage is supposed to be permanent, right?

[CraigF]

Originally posted by shakey_snake
nonono. The "someone else's personal choice is stupid because it's not how I've been taught to handle this situation" part.

I think you're reading into my comment too much. My argument against option 1 actually had nothing do with with sexual health at all, but a relationship argument. I thought I made it clear that I consider sexual compatibility as a part of a working relationship (assuming sexual activity). If you choose to live without sex until marriage you are taking a chance that the one you marry you just wont click with. Thats not to say its not something that cant be solved.

[Widdykats]

I have no problem, whatsoever, asking the guy I'm may be seeing for a bit to have a HIV/ and STD tests. Nor getting retested myself. I'll take care of the not getting pregnant, We'll take cake of steering clear of disease.(Whoever that might be... )

[shakey_snake]

Originally posted by CraigF
I think you're reading into my comment too much. My argument against option 1 actually had nothing do with with sexual health at all, but a relationship argument. I thought I made it clear that I consider sexual compatibility as a part of a working relationship (assuming sexual activity). If you choose to live without sex until marriage you are taking a chance that the one you marry you just wont click with. Thats not to say its not something that cant be solved.

That's funny because almost any studies I've read on the topic say that married couples that wait are generally describe themselves as more satisfied, and less likely to divorce.

More flippant views of marriage seem to follow closely behind more flippant views of sex.

Originally posted by Widdykats
Some of you may never get married. Will you stay celebate for your whole lives?

Do you find it odd that I'd say yes?

[zootm]

Originally posted by shakey_snake
That's funny because almost any studies I've read on the topic say that married couples that wait are generally describe themselves as more satisfied, and less likely to divorce.

Wouldn't people who wait generally have more romantic views of marriage from the offset, and hence be more likely to be satisfied with it? I don't think there's good evidence for causality there.

[Widdykats]

That'd be moi, shakes!!


I'd love to see the source reference for that, shakes!
Also, since the divorce rate is over fifty percent..I think most people will have more than one sex partner, even if they waited til marriage to have sex.

[shakey_snake]

Originally posted by zootm
Wouldn't people who wait generally have more romantic views of marriage from the offset, and hence be more likely to be satisfied with it? I don't think there's good evidence for causality there.

Wouldn't waiting generally give you a more romantic view of marriage?
You logic is presuming that people form their views on marriage before they form their views on sex.

[Germ]

SEX MAKES MY WEE WEE FEEL GOOD

[Widdykats]

^As it should!

[shakey_snake]

Originally posted by Widdykats
That'd be moi, shakes!!


I'd love to see the source reference for that, shakes!

Pick one:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&l...le&btnG=Search

[Jay]

well I did wait quite a while but I was waiting for the right person and the right relationship. It all depends on the person, some people are capable of having sex with no ties, some aren't.

Also being choosy and waiting for a virgin is definitely a bad idea. Sometimes a person's past makes them a good fit for you even if that past isn't the same as yours.

[zootm]

Originally posted by shakey_snake
Wouldn't waiting generally give you a more romantic view of marriage?
You logic is presuming that people form their views on marriage before they form their views on sex.

No, my logic presumes people form views on marriage before they form views on sex before marriage. Presumably they'd have views on sex too, for this.

What I mean, though, is that people who wait until marriage is more likely to tell us about the marriages of the kind of person who chooses to wait, rather than the direct effect of waiting. Choosing to wait is more likely to be an effect of their personal viewpoints, and since those clearly place a lot of importance on marriage (assuming they place any importance upon sex), it seems to stand to reason that they'd be more willing to make a marriage work.

[shakey_snake]

So (assuming most people who get married would prefer it didn't end in divorce) why would someone choose not to be one of those people?

[deeder7001]

I chose option 1. I wouldn't want to tell my wife that she wasn't the first one for me.