Old 26th May 2008, 03:39   #1
Wildrose-Wally
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The solution to an ancient problem

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at abig, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Let's get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis racket when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.'

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.' I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?' I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I arn and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either, but at least now she knows how it feels when natural desires go unsatisfied.

- Anonymous -
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Old 26th May 2008, 03:56   #2
mikm
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Oldie but goodie

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Old 26th May 2008, 06:38   #3
eheiney
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I knew I'd heard that before.

Still a good joke though.

Spiral out, my friend. You will find your way back to yourself, we all will.
I'll be waiting, and shall see you on the other side...
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Old 28th May 2008, 00:50   #4
missyob
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She should have been greatful to have a husband that loved her enough to stick around.........

Lots of women have high sex drives.... it's just we have a harder time separating sex from the heart...

Ok, I took a joke and made it serious.... sorry.
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Old 28th May 2008, 17:11   #5
Too-DAMN-Much
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Quote:
Originally posted by missyob
Lots of women have high sex drives.... it's just gone after a year or two of marriage
- fixed

I hate everyone, so you don't have to.
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Old 28th May 2008, 22:42   #6
tuckerm
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Yeah since you're the expert with the ladies.
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