Old 9th May 2006, 07:56   #1
InvisableMan
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General Discussions.

After all these years I think it's about time we actually got on topic in this forum.

Discussing generals. Be it great, greatly poor, influentual or whatnot, discuss them here.

I will start things off with probably the easiest general to start things off with:


General of the Army, Douglas MacArthur


I believe that the final paragraph of the main wikipedia description sums up about all I could say about the man:

Quote:
MacArthur remains one of the most controversial figures in American history. While greatly admired by many for his strategic and tactical brilliance, MacArthur was also criticized by many for his actions in command, and especially his challenge to Truman in 1951.
I tend to be more on the critical side, however, since I was not obviously alive at the time, all I really have to go by are history documents and what my Grandfather (who served in the Marine Corps during the Korean war) could say of him. Being a front line soldier who was wounded in combat, I think I could take his word that basically MacArthur was a great mind that got stupid in the end of his career. Alot of people would have died if he had gotten his way.
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Old 9th May 2006, 11:27   #2
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Old 9th May 2006, 11:41   #3
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Old 9th May 2006, 12:40   #4
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Old 9th May 2006, 12:45   #5
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Makes a change from discussing privates, I guess

UJ
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Old 9th May 2006, 12:57   #6
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How about Privates that became General-knowledge? Like Paris Hilton, or Pam Anderson, ect.

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Old 9th May 2006, 15:02   #7
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Re: General Discussions.

Quote:
Originally posted by InvisableMan
After all these years I think it's about time we actually got on topic in this forum.

Discussing generals. Be it great, greatly poor, influentual or whatnot, discuss them here.

I will start things off with probably the easiest general to start things off with:

[Image]
General of the Army, Douglas MacArthur

I believe that the final paragraph of the main wikipedia description sums up about all I could say about the man:


I tend to be more on the critical side, however, since I was not obviously alive at the time, all I really have to go by are history documents and what my Grandfather (who served in the Marine Corps during the Korean war) could say of him. Being a front line soldier who was wounded in combat, I think I could take his word that basically MacArthur was a great mind that got stupid in the end of his career. Alot of people would have died if he had gotten his way.
Oh this general is the best strategist of Two World War for america.
army of USA of course proud to have him.
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Old 9th May 2006, 17:10   #8
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My favorite general was Curtis LeMay. That guy knew how to conduct a war.

Quote:
In July 1944 LeMay transferred to the Pacific Theater. He was promoted to major general and directed first the XX Bomber Command and then the XXI Bomber Command in India.

LeMay soon concluded that his bombers were dropping their bombs near their targets only 5% of the time, and that losses of aircraft and crews were unsustainably high. LeMay became convinced that continuing high-altitude, precision bombing would be ineffective, given the usual cloudy weather over Japan. He switched to low-altitude, incendiary attacks on Japanese cities. Precision bombing was conducted only when weather permitted it.

LeMay commanded B-29 operations against Japan, including the massive incendiary attacks on sixty four Japanese cities. This included the firebombing of Tokyo on March 9 - March 10, 1945. For this first attack LeMay removed the armaments on 325 B-29s, loaded each plane with firebomb clusters and ordered the bombers out at 5 - 9,000 feet over Tokyo. The first planes arrived over Tokyo just after midnight on March 10. In a three hour period they dropped 1,665 tons of incendiary bombs killing more than 100,000 civilians and incinerating 16 square miles of the city.

Precise figures are not available but the firebombing and nuclear bombing campaign against Japan, directed by LeMay between March 1945 and the Japanese surrender in August 1945, may have killed more than one million Japanese civilians. Official estimates from the United States Strategic Bombing Survey put the figures at 330,000 people killed, 476,000 injured, 8.5 million people made homeless and 2.5 million buildings destroyed. Nearly half the built-up areas of sixty-four cities were totally destroyed.

"There are no innocent civilians, so it doesn't bother me so much to be killing innocent bystanders." The New York Times reported at the time, "Maj. Gen. Curtis E. LeMay, commander of the B-29's of the entire Marianas area, declared that if the war is shortened by a single day the attack will have served its purpose."

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Old 9th May 2006, 17:19   #9
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Quote:
Who Was General Tso And Why Are We Eating His Chicken?

Each evening, thousands of Americans drift into Chinese restaurants or, if they are too lazy to go out, pick up the phone and order one of the most popular dishes on the menu: General Tso's Chicken, a sugary-spicy melange of dark-meat tidbits, deep-fried then fired up with ginger, garlic, sesame oil, scallions and hot chili peppers.

Not one in 10,000 knows who General Tso (most commonly pronounced "sow") was, nor what terrible times he lived through, nor the dark massacres that distinguished his baleful, belligerent career. Setting their chopsticks aside, patting their stomachs, the satisfied diners spare scarcely a thought for General Tso, except to imagine that he must have been a great connoisseur of hot stir-fried chicken.

Who was he?

General Tso Tsungtang, or as his name is spelled in modern Pinyin, Zuo Zongtang, was born on Nov. 10, 1812, and died on Sept. 5, 1885. He was a frighteningly gifted military leader during the waning of the Qing dynasty, a figure perhaps the Chinese equivalent of the American Civil War commander William Tecumseh Sherman. He served with brilliant distinction during China's greatest civil war, the 14-year-long Taiping Rebellion, which claimed millions of lives.

Tso was utterly ruthless. He smashed the Taiping rebels in four provinces, put down an unrelated revolt called the Nian Rebellion, then marched west and reconquered Chinese Turkestan from Muslim rebels.

Arthur W. Hummel devotes five double-columned pages to the general in the monumental 1944 "Eminent Chinese of the Ch'ing Period (1644-1912)" published by the Library of Congress.

Tso emerges from several sources as a self-made man, born in Hunan province, a hilly hot-tempered heartland, whose cuisine rivals that of Sichuan for sheer firepower. (While Sichuan food is hot right up front, in the mouth, in your face; Hunanese cuisine tends to build up inside you, like a slow charcoal fire, until you feel as though your belly is filled with burning coals.)

As a young man Tso flunked the official court exams three times, a terrible disgrace. He returned home, married and devoted himself to practical studies, like agriculture and geography. He took up silkworm farming and tea farming and chose a gentle sobriquet, calling himself "The Husbandman of the River Hsiang." Like Sherman, stuck teaching at a military academy in Louisiana on the eve of the Civil War, he seemed washed up.

He was 38 when the Taiping Rebellion broke out in 1850. For the rest of his life, Tso would wield the sword, becoming one of the most remarkably successful military commanders in Chinese history.

The Taiping Rebellion -- a movement that in part advocated Christian doctrine -- nearly toppled the Qing dynasty. It was founded by Hong Xiuquan, a Chinese mystic who believed he was the younger brother of Jesus. The whole astonishing episode has been described admirably by Yale scholar Jonathan Spence in his "God's Chinese Son." (Norton, 1996).

Tso made war, and war made Tso. He began his military career as an adjutant and secretary for the governor of Hunan province. He raised a force of 5,000 volunteers and took the field in September 1860, driving the Taiping rebels out of Hunan and Guangxi provinces, into coastal Zhejiang. There he captured the big cities of Shaoxing, still famous for its sherrylike rice wine. From there he pushed south into Fujian and Guangdong provinces, where the revolt had first begun and spread, and had crushed the Taipings by the time the rebellion ended in 1864.

The Taiping Rebellion was the greatest upheaval in 19th century China. It caused massive displacements and shifts in population. Hundreds of thousands of people fled or emigrated, many to America, where they worked building the transcontinental railroad, which was completed in 1869.

It would be possible to leave the story here and say that General Tso's Chicken simply honors a great personality, just as Arthur Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington, is honored in Beef Wellington; Pavel Stroganoff, a 19th-century Russian diplomat, in Beef Stroganoff; Count Charles de Nesselrode (another 19th-century Russian diplomat) in Nesselrode Pudding,; or Australian opera singer Nellie Melba in the dessert, Peach Melba. Indeed some believe it quite likely that the dish was whipped up for the general after some signal victory, just as Chicken Marengo was whipped up for Napoleon after he defeated the Austrians at Marengo on June 14, 1800.

Still, the recipe is not particularly original -- the ingredients are used in many stir-fry Chinese dishes -- and the dark meat chicken argues for a humbler origin. It's a poor man's dish, not a feast for a field marshal.

Is it possible that, struggling to carve out a new life in America under backbreaking adversities, and having heard of the sword skills of the remorseless General Tso (who had the top leaders of the Nian Rebellion executed with the proverbial "death of 10,000 cuts"), the overseas exiles indulged in some gallows-humor about their old enemy? That the chopped-up chicken dish may have gotten its name from the sliced and diced victims of Tso's grim reprisals?

This might conceivably explain why General Tso's Chicken is very much an overseas Chinese dish, filtering the hot, peppery taste of Hunan cuisine, through the sweetening process of Cantonese cooking. Most of the immigrants to America came from coastal regions: Shanghai and Canton.
Tso Much For That

The details of Tso's life are easy to document. But how the chicken got named for him is another matter. In "Chinese Kitchen" (Morrow, 1999), author Eileen Yin-Fei Lo says that dish is a Hunan classic called "chung ton gai," or "ancestor meeting place chicken."

But to others, General Tso's chicken recipe may be no more ancient than 1972, and may have more in common with Manhattan than with mainland China. On "The Definitive General Tso's Chicken Page" (www.echonyc.com/~erich/tso.htm) New Yorker Eric Hochman theorizes "It was invented in the mid-1970s, in NYC, by one Chef Peng.

"Around 1974, Hunan and Szechuan food were introduced to the city, and General Tso's Chicken was an exemplar of the new style. Peng's, on East 44th Street, was the first restaurant in NYC to serve it, and since the dish (and cuisine) were new, Chef Peng was able to make it a House Specialty, in spite of its commonplace ingredients."

My own research led me to the same city, but a different Manhattan restaurateur, who claims the dish is the brilliant invention of his former partner, a gifted Chinese immigrant chef named T.T. Wang.

"He went into business with me in 1972," said Michael Tong, owner of New York's Shun Lee Palaces, East (155 E. 55th St.) and West (43 W. 65th St.). "We opened the first Hunanese restaurant in the whole country, and the four dishes we offered you will see on the menu of practically every Hunanese restaurant in America today. They all copied from us.

"First, Lake Tung Ting shrimp. Lake Tung Ting in northern Hunan province is very famous for its shrimp.

"Second, crispy sea bass. We roll them in cornstarch and we fry them crispy. Then we shower them with the sauce. A lot of restaurants will use catfish, but they don't know how to cook them in the sauce, so they put the sauce on the side. Sometimes they just give you plain soy sauce. We know how to cook them in the sauce.

"Third, orange crispy beef. This is very, very popular with us. Any Hunan or Sichuan restaurant, if you call them and ask for orange crispy beef, they will know what you are talking about. We invented it.

"Fourth, General Tso's chicken, sometimes called General Tsung's chicken or General Tsao's chicken."

If Tong's tale is true, General Tso never ate the dish named after him. The great warrior, the prop of the Qing dynasty, the subduer of rebels and uprisings who carved his name into Chinese history at the point of a sword, had to wait more than 100 years for an inventive expatriate chef to award him his American triumph and make his name famous in the West.

General Tso, most likely, was a man ahead of his dish.

Michael Browning is a feature writer for the Palm Beach Post. He spent nine years in China as a correspondent, based in Beijing, for Knight-Ridder newspapers.

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Old 9th May 2006, 17:33   #10
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Napoleon Bonaparte

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon

There is no sig.
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Old 9th May 2006, 17:39   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by ScorLibran
My favorite general was Curtis LeMay. That guy knew how to conduct a war.
Remind me what's so bad about Osama Bin Laden again?
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Old 9th May 2006, 17:48   #12
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This thread reminds of Mitch Hedberg's (the ledgend of comedians) joke:

Quote:
I wanna see a forklift lift a crate of forks. It would be so damn literal! "You're using that machine to its exact specification! That machine has been misunderstood for years."
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Old 9th May 2006, 17:52   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by ScorLibran
Quote:
For this first attack LeMay removed the armaments on 325 B-29s, loaded each plane with firebomb clusters and ordered the bombers out at 5 - 9,000 feet over Tokyo. The first planes arrived over Tokyo just after midnight on March 10. In a three hour period they dropped 1,665 tons of incendiary bombs killing more than 100,000 civilians and incinerating 16 square miles of the city.
0wned! And the Japanese thought we'd never be so barberic as to firebomb cities. We showed them!

Quote:
Originally posted by gaekwad2
Remind me what's so bad about Osama Bin Laden again?
He attacks civilians without the intent of stopping open war?

[edit]
Quote:
Originally posted by Schmeet
This thread reminds of Mitch Hedberg's (the ledgend of comedians) joke:
That man was a king. RIP.[/edit]

Freedom of speech is the basic freedom of humanity. When you've lost that, you've lost everything.
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Old 9th May 2006, 18:24   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by gaekwad2
Remind me what's so bad about Osama Bin Laden again?
Bin Laden is a vast amateur. His best killing record is just over 3000 people in a day. Phooey! Was he even trying?

If you're going to kill your enemy, then

Kill. Your. Enemy.

...and those who can create more of them. Soldiers come from parents. Parent's come from young adults. Young adults come from children.

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Old 9th May 2006, 18:34   #15
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In that case s/Bin Laden/Hitler
(or any other war criminal)
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Old 9th May 2006, 18:46   #16
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wow. you did not just use sed syntax in a post. . .


and if you did, the syntax is wrong

it should be 's/Bin Laden/Hitler/'

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Old 9th May 2006, 20:26   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by ujay
Makes a change from discussing privates, I guess

UJ
Tacky one-liner of the day:

That would be corporal punishment
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Old 9th May 2006, 22:08   #18
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I do hope this wasn't supposed to be a serious thread. I already forsee a Major Train Wreck followed by General Chaos.

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Old 9th May 2006, 22:43   #19
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Well it doesn't Warrant Officer jokes. But it could well devolve into a discussion of Privates and Seamen. There won't be a Colonel of decency left.

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Old 9th May 2006, 23:35   #20
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My "chief" concern is that I might get something lodged in my "G.I." tract due to laughing while dining on the "Colonel's" chicken..
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Old 9th May 2006, 23:36   #21
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It was supposed to be semi-serious. However this looks good so far, It's still general discussions about generals.

You know what I was thinking just last night after I posted this? How did not Xerxes or Radioactive Man come up with this years ago?
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Old 10th May 2006, 00:03   #22
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What about General Specific.

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Old 10th May 2006, 00:08   #23
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Don't forget about surgeon generals:


This is a sig of some nature.
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Old 10th May 2006, 00:33   #24
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Joan of Arc, I googled for "female general" and she popped up.
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Old 10th May 2006, 01:27   #25
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>ALL

Exhibit A

Exhibit B:

On January 30, 1835 an unsuccessful assassination attempt against Jackson occurred in the United States Capitol. This was the first assassination attempt made against an American President. As Jackson left a funeral, a man named Richard Lawrence approached Jackson and fired a pistol at point-blank range. The would-be assassin was thwarted as his pistol misfired. He immediately drew another pistol, which also misfired, at which point Jackson attacked him with his cane, subduing him . Lawrence was later found to be mentally ill and committed to an insane asylum.

Exhibit C:

Jackson deeply resented attacks on his wife's honor; he killed Charles Dickinson in a duel over a horse-racing debt and an insult to his wife on May 30, 1806. Jackson was also injured during the duel, shot in the ribs, and the bullet was so close to his heart that it could never be safely removed. At times he would cough up blood. It caused him considerable pain for the rest of his life. Jackson blamed John Quincy Adams for Rachel's death, because of the marital scandal being brought up in the election of 1828. He felt that this had hastened her death, and never forgave Adams.

Exhibit D:

Andrew Jackson has been said (probably without foundation) to be the creator of the term "OK", which came into currency towards the end of his life. It is supposedly his abbreviation for "Oll Korrect" (a humorous or illiterate spelling of "all correct"); he may also have known the similar Choctaw word. See Okay.

Exhibit E:

Andrew Jackson had a parrot named Poll, who was taught to speak English and Spanish. Poll reportedly had to be removed from Jackson's funeral because the bird was cursing in both languages.


Exhibits B, C, D, and E derived from here

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Last edited by JFASI; 10th May 2006 at 01:48.
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Old 10th May 2006, 01:34   #26
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We had one of them female generals round our way, took on the Romans and kicked there asses.



Terrible driver by all accounts.

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Old 10th May 2006, 01:36   #27
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Sorry, read my above edit.

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Old 10th May 2006, 01:44   #28
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Quote:
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[Andrew Jackson] >ALL
Heh, I agree; AJ was badass.

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Old 10th May 2006, 01:47   #29
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My hero!

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Old 10th May 2006, 02:11   #30
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But he didn't have B-29s and atomic bombs.

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Old 10th May 2006, 05:41   #31
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Quote:
Originally posted by ShyShy
[Image]

Joan of Arc, I googled for "female general" and she popped up.
Well, I googled for "Female Privates" but I can't post those pictures.

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Old 10th May 2006, 05:44   #32
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I googled for "Female Seamen" and got 0 matches.

It's almost as if there's no such thing.


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Old 11th May 2006, 01:21   #33
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Quote:
Originally posted by ScorLibran
I googled for "Female Seamen" and got 0 matches.

It's almost as if there's no such thing.


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Old 11th May 2006, 03:02   #34
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So, who would win in a fight between Gen. Motors and Gen. Electric?
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Old 11th May 2006, 03:17   #35
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Gen. Dynamics would wipe out both of them.

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Old 11th May 2006, 11:17   #36
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She kinda looks like a man...

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Old 11th May 2006, 11:45   #37
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She kinda looks like a man...

Those who can do, do; those who can't do, teach.
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Old 11th May 2006, 21:23   #38
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Scene 8

The French castle / wooden rabbit
[King Arthur music]
[clop clop clop]
ARTHUR:
Halt!
[horn]
Hallo!
[pause]
Hallo!
FRENCH GUARD:
Allo! Who is eet?
ARTHUR:
It is King Arthur, and these are my Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
FRENCH GUARD:
This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard.
ARTHUR:
Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
FRENCH GUARD:
Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see.
ARTHUR:
What?
GALAHAD:
He says they've already got one!
ARTHUR:
Are you sure he's got one?
FRENCH GUARD:
Oh, yes. It's very nice-a. (I told him we already got one.)
FRENCH GUARDS:
[chuckling]

ARTHUR:
Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look?
FRENCH GUARD:
Of course not! You are English types-a!
ARTHUR:
Well, what are you, then?
FRENCH GUARD:
I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king-a?!
GALAHAD:
What are you doing in England?
FRENCH GUARD:
Mind your own business!
ARTHUR:
If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
FRENCH GUARD:
You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!
GALAHAD:
What a strange person.
ARTHUR:
Now look here, my good man--
FRENCH GUARD:
I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!
I fart in your general direction!
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
GALAHAD:
Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
FRENCH GUARD:
No. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
[sniff]
ARTHUR:
Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable.
FRENCH GUARD:
(Fetchez la vache.)
OTHER FRENCH GUARD:
Quoi?
FRENCH GUARD:
(Fetchez la vache!)
[mooo]
ARTHUR:
If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall--
[twong]

[mooooooo]
Jesus Christ!
KNIGHTS:
Christ!
[thud]
Ah! Ohh!
ARTHUR:
Right! Charge!
KNIGHTS:
Charge!
[mayhem]
FRENCH GUARD:
Hey, this one is for your mother! There you go.
[mayhem]
FRENCH GUARD:
And this one's for your dad!
ARTHUR:
Run away!
KNIGHTS:
Run away!
FRENCH GUARD:
Thppppt!
FRENCH GUARDS:
[taunting]
LAUNCELOT:
Fiends! I'll tear them apart!
ARTHUR:
No, no. No, no.
BEDEVERE:
Sir! I have a plan, sir.

[later]

[wind]
[saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw]
[clunk]
[bang]
[rewr!]
[squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak]
[rrrr rrrr rrrr]
[drilllll]
[sawwwww]
[clunk]
[crash]
[clang]
[squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...]

[creak]
FRENCH GUARDS: [whispering]
C'est un lapin, lapin de bois. Quoi? Un cadeau. What? A present. Oh, un cadeau. Oui, oui. Hurry. What? Let's go. Oh. On y va. Bon magne. Over here...
[squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...]
[clllank]
ARTHUR:
What happens now?
BEDEVERE:
Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French, uh, by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!
ARTHUR:
Who leaps out?
BEDEVERE:
U-- u-- uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh, and uh...
ARTHUR:
Ohh.
BEDEVERE:
Oh. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large wooden badger--
[clank]
[twong]
ARTHUR:
Run away!
KNIGHTS:
Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away!

[CRASH]
FRENCH GUARDS:
Oh, haw haw haw haw! Haw! Haw haw heh...

Jesus loves you [yes, you] so much, he even died for you so that you will not need to die, but live forever
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Old 12th May 2006, 00:48   #39
MrMagick
Major Dude
 
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All of that for one line which just about anybody older than 25 would know? Although, I've never seen it in a play format like that. Just the movie.

-~MrMagick~-
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Old 12th May 2006, 10:28   #40
ryan
not fucked, not quite.
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What about my general lack of sex?
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