At the beep...

jon_joy_1999 · 16th February 2003, 12:45

AT THE BEEP..."

Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified By The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages.
My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy"
message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

Raz · 16th February 2003, 12:52

some are good, some are not. Did you ever hear one of these corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is 'share the love.' Beep." "Uh,yeah...this is the VD clinic calling.... Speaking of being positive, your test results are back. Stop sharing the love."

anubis2003 · 16th February 2003, 12:52

Those are great, but I've seen them all before.

16th February 2003, 12:45	#1
jon_joy_1999 Major Dude Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: The box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's bait Shop. You know the place. Posts: 670	At the beep... AT THE BEEP..." Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified By The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages: 10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. 8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call. 7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. 6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money. 5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message. 4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner. 3. Hi. Now YOU say something. 2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages. 1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

16th February 2003, 12:52	#3
anubis2003 Forum King Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: middle of somewhere Posts: 5,564	Those are great, but I've seen them all before. [Over The Monkey] \| [My DeviantArt] \| [Se ti] \| [Atmo Digital Design Forums]

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16th February 2003, 12:52	#2
Raz Forum King Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Manchester Posts: 6,470	some are good, some are not. Did you ever hear one of these corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is 'share the love.' Beep." "Uh,yeah...this is the VD clinic calling.... Speaking of being positive, your test results are back. Stop sharing the love."