Magical Toilet Paper

. - .... .- -. .... · 19th May 2003, 12:24

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the
mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.

Instead of his standard response of reassuring her that
wasn't the case, her husband uncharacteristically comes up with a
suggestion.

"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper,
and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

"How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of
years," he replies.

The wife stops.

"Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts
every day will make my breasts grow over
the years?"

He shrugged and said, "Worked for your arse, didn't it?"

Vie · 19th May 2003, 12:27

ooooo nasty, but funny

eleet-2k2 · 19th May 2003, 12:32

Haha, funny joke.

Wildrose-Wally · 19th May 2003, 14:05

If I was a lawyer, I'd now have a client heading to the divorce court.

Joel · 19th May 2003, 15:09

lol..
a cool joke dude,

Raz · 19th May 2003, 15:16

Heard it before. Can't you just collect all these jokes before making a new thread for each one and put them in one thread?

. - .... .- -. .... · 19th May 2003, 15:20

Quote:

Originally posted by Raz
Heard it before. Can't you just collect all these jokes before making a new thread for each one and put them in one thread?

I suppose I could. But that would require going forward into the future and bringing back all the jokes I am going to tell so I can post them along with anything I want to post right now. Which means I'm going to have to go out looking for a DeLorean, a flux capacitor and figure out how to make it go faster than 88MPH.

Nah - it's much easier this way....

Raz · 19th May 2003, 15:25

What i meant was don't just make a new thread every time you get a joke, get about ten then make a thread. It proves for much funnier reading.

Joel · 19th May 2003, 15:40

Mia: Picture of the day thread

ethan_h: Joke of the day thread

dlinkwit27 · 19th May 2003, 15:50

lol, i'ev heard it before, but still funny

pixiefied · 19th May 2003, 16:19

i seen the title "magical toilet paper" and i thought about this..

d0rk · 19th May 2003, 17:18

Pixie, me thinks that people wouldn't be using that in the bathroom....

. - .... .- -. .... · 19th May 2003, 17:19

Quote:

Originally posted by d0rk
Pixie, me thinks that people wouldn't be using that in the bathroom....

On the contrary... I know a few girls that definitely wouldn't say no...

billyfridge · 19th May 2003, 17:32

Quote:

Originally posted by ethan_h
On the contrary... I know a few girls that definitely wouldn't say no...

You lucky sod, all the girls I know never say yes.

Smeggle · 19th May 2003, 18:13

Magical Toilet Paper...

Expects to see this on E-Bay soon LOL

Nice one Ethan

btw Agrees With Mia

Avion · 19th May 2003, 19:11

LoL
good one

Bilbo Baggins · 19th May 2003, 21:50

Ahhh, hearty Irish wit. The lowest of the low

d0rk · 24th June 2003, 04:45

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!) The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.
The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. "Where did you get this money?"
The old lady replied, "I make bets."
The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"
The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."
"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"
The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," said the president, I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"
The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?"
"Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.
The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!"
The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president did. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.
"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."
Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The President asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"
She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 AM today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand."

decided to post it here instead of making a new thread

ShyShy · 24th June 2003, 04:55

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

jakeledel · 24th June 2003, 05:24

dats a good one

eleet-2k2 · 24th June 2003, 12:04

That's funny, lol.

Viper007Bond · 24th June 2003, 12:11

Those are all great. Thanks for the laughs.

Sah'Rah! · 24th June 2003, 16:07

that's funny! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Bob the Tomato · 24th June 2003, 16:26

If that were real, methinks that guy would be sleeping on the couch for a few nights. Or find himself hurtling through the air.

19th May 2003, 12:24	#1
. - .... .- -. .... Backpacking Moderator Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: საქართველო (Georgia) Posts: 10,098	Magical Toilet Paper Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of his standard response of reassuring her that wasn't the case, her husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?" He shrugged and said, "Worked for your arse, didn't it?" Like my photography? Buy some here....

19th May 2003, 12:27	#2
Vie Forum King Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Thoron fields and Duranium shadows. Posts: Crap mostly Posts: 7,960	ooooo nasty, but funny Member most in need of SpellCheck Lifetime Achievement Award Vie's Scratching Post

19th May 2003, 12:32	#3
eleet-2k2 Forum King Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Mobil Ave. Posts: 5,381	Haha, funny joke. "Welcome to the Island of people who know too much."..."Did you really think balloons would stop him?!" See what I'm listening too.

19th May 2003, 14:05	#4
Wildrose-Wally The Albertan Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Sunny Southern Alberta Posts: 6,050	If I was a lawyer, I'd now have a client heading to the divorce court. "We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations." ~ Charles R. Swindoll

19th May 2003, 15:09	#5
Joel Debian user (Forum King) Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Arch land Posts: 4,896	lol.. a cool joke dude, * PC: Intel Core 2 DUO E6550 @ 2.33 GHz with 2 GB RAM: Archlinux w/ xfce4. * Laptop: Intel Core 2 DUO T6600 @ 2.20 GHz with 4 GB RAM: Debian unstable w/ xfce4.

19th May 2003, 15:16	#6
Raz Forum King Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Manchester Posts: 6,470	Heard it before. Can't you just collect all these jokes before making a new thread for each one and put them in one thread?

19th May 2003, 15:25	#8
Raz Forum King Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Manchester Posts: 6,470	What i meant was don't just make a new thread every time you get a joke, get about ten then make a thread. It proves for much funnier reading.

19th May 2003, 15:40	#9
Joel Debian user (Forum King) Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Arch land Posts: 4,896	Mia: Picture of the day thread ethan_h: Joke of the day thread * PC: Intel Core 2 DUO E6550 @ 2.33 GHz with 2 GB RAM: Archlinux w/ xfce4. * Laptop: Intel Core 2 DUO T6600 @ 2.20 GHz with 4 GB RAM: Debian unstable w/ xfce4.

19th May 2003, 15:50	#10
dlinkwit27 has no CT (Forum King) Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 13,232	lol, i'ev heard it before, but still funny ::Deviant Me::Last.fm::WhatPulse Stats::Folding @ Home

19th May 2003, 17:18	#12
d0rk I contribute nothing. (Forum King) Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Virgacalementoflagantionio Posts: 3,031	Pixie, me thinks that people wouldn't be using that in the bathroom.... I came for the hatred. I stayed for the ballbag.

19th May 2003, 18:13	#15
Smeggle Just Strolling By (Major Dude) Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Long Winding Road..... Posts: 3,201	Magical Toilet Paper... Expects to see this on E-Bay soon LOL Nice one Ethan btw Agrees With Mia Music is Life, Love and Happiness :\|: Life is Music. Serren - 1985 - 2005 Religion? Religion is a Blasphemy against humanity - From the film What the Bleep do we know siggy link So stumbling? whats it all about

19th May 2003, 19:11	#16
Avion Major Dude Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 870	LoL good one

19th May 2003, 21:50	#17
Bilbo Baggins Wind Chime of the Apocalypse Join Date: May 2000 Location: The Forest Posts: 17,231	Ahhh, hearty Irish wit. The lowest of the low

24th June 2003, 04:45	#18
d0rk I contribute nothing. (Forum King) Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Virgacalementoflagantionio Posts: 3,031	A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!) The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. "Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets." The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president did. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The President asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 AM today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand." decided to post it here instead of making a new thread I came for the hatred. I stayed for the ballbag.

24th June 2003, 04:55	#19
ShyShy Amazon Bush Woman Forum Queen Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Sticks, Queensland Posts: 8,018	LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

24th June 2003, 05:24	#20
jakeledel Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: The Ohio State University Posts: 439	dats a good one Mozilla

24th June 2003, 12:04	#21
eleet-2k2 Forum King Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Mobil Ave. Posts: 5,381	That's funny, lol. "Welcome to the Island of people who know too much."..."Did you really think balloons would stop him?!" See what I'm listening too.

24th June 2003, 12:11	#22
Viper007Bond Major Dude Join Date: May 2002 Location: Portland, OR Life: None Posts: 1,054	Those are all great. Thanks for the laughs. - Viper007Bond \| Viper007Bond.com

24th June 2003, 16:07	#23
Sah'Rah! Senior Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: i dont know..... Posts: 122	that's funny! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

24th June 2003, 16:26	#24
Bob the Tomato Senior Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Louisiana Posts: 258	If that were real, methinks that guy would be sleeping on the couch for a few nights. Or find himself hurtling through the air.

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