I decide to go to a local non-gay bar to see a band play.
I make the hazardous journy and get there safely.
Hop on the seat and snag a Bud.
There's these two gesers siting on the otherside.
One is like, Fucked drunk
He goes to grab his beer, and pushes it over on the floor behind the bar.
The guy next to him starts hecklin this poor drunk bastard.
Well, you just don't heckle a drunk bastard.
So they both start talkin shit and things go outside.
The bar wench, about 5'5" small A cup, goes out and breaks it up.
Quite a little fireball, love to nail her at least once.
Well one beer later, the drunk bastard leaves(in his own car) and its just me, her, and dink.
Then things get.....odd.
He asked me to open up the Jutebox.
1.eminem - Drips
2.3DD - When I'm gone
3.eminem - White America
4.(let bartender pick)
All of a sudden, my Gaydar gets pinged!!!!
That one beer seriously impacted my gaydar's effeciency.
A detailed scan would take at least 30 minutes, so i decided to wait and see what the fuck.
I'm knockin back another one and watchin a football game and that guy starts talkin to me.
I nodded and "yeah man" and shit
Then it came to me, he was givin me that look.
You know, the look you give a bitch when you want in her pants.
"ALL HANDS, BATTLESTATIONS"
"SHIELDS UP, FULL POWER TO WEAPONS"
Using my superior lingustic skills, i backed him down.
Eventually, he surrendered.
I have found that homosexual men are greatly attracted to me.
I believe this is due to a feedback from my Gaydar.
Similar to the mannar in which whales and dolphins are attracted to submarines.
Grown accustomed to this, actually a little flattered at points and times......not now though.
I wait for the band to get there.
(one hour later)
they show up, set up and start.
and for all the pain i went through
THEY SUCKED ASS!!!!!
I fall back to the house, see the awe inspiring millionth post, jerk it, and go to sleep
A day later i'm at work preping froglegs(boring) when my mind starts to wander.
Why was i so irate when that other less drunker bastard wanted my man puding?
Then the thought occured.
It was beautiful, nay HOLY!!!
The thought was put through a rigorous set of quality control standards to ensure absoult perfection.
After much internal turmoil, it passes.
And at that time was ready for expression.
He just assumed he could have my ass.
Its MINE not yours.
You cant just have this prime piece of real estate like its free!!!!
Then the thought is expanded.
Is this thought familiar?
That chic your tryin to talk out of her panties, is thinkin the exact same thing.
Truly worthy of further ponderance.
Moral of this story:
Gay people are good