14th July 2004, 00:32
|
#1 |
|
has no CT
(Forum King) 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Posts: 13,236
   |
Statistics joke.
three statisticions (sp?) (people who work with stats and shit)are out hunting. They see a deer. First guy misses 10 feet to the left. Second guy misses 10 feet to the right. The third guy starts jumpni gup and down. "i shot it i shot it."
Heard it on "west wing." Thought it was humerous. Shared. |
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 00:36
|
#2 |
|
Major Dude
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hardcore Heaven
Posts: 1,491
|
Hahahaha
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 00:48
|
#3 | |
|
Major Dude
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: melbourne Posts: First
Posts: 1,313
|
Re: Statistics joke.
Quote:
Three statisticions are out hunting. They see a deer. First guy misses 10 feet to the left. Second guy misses 10 feet to the right. The third guy shoots and the deer goes running off. Then he starts jumpnig up and down. "i shot it i shot it." And On that day, the Lords of the land said unto their Master Architect, "The temple you have made to the gods of Wasabi and Maki has brought us no great prosperity" and they sent out him into the lands. As he traveled to a far off land, he found he wasn't traveling alone, but that he had gained companions, and when they found their new land, they started work on a new temple, one that would be OPEN to all who wanted to worship. from The Book of Wasabi C 12 Vs 09 (pg 2003)
|
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 01:00
|
#4 |
|
Major Dude
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: in front of my pc
Posts: 1,617
|
Call me slow but I don't get it.
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 01:06
|
#5 |
|
Debian user
(Forum King) 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Arch land
Posts: 4,917
|
If you are slow then I'm a turtle <_<
* PC: Intel Core 2 DUO E6550 @ 2.33 GHz with 2 GB RAM: Archlinux-i686 with MATE. * Laptop: Intel Core 2 DUO T6600 @ 2.20 GHz with 4 GB RAM: Archlinux-x86-64 with MATE. |
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 01:11
|
#6 |
|
Forum King
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Mobil Ave.
Posts: 5,381
|
1 guy was 10 units too wide, the other guy was 10 units too wide to the other direction. I'm assuming the middle guy shot the average of the first two, hence he shot it.
"Welcome to the Island of people who know too much."..."Did you really think balloons would stop him?!" See what I'm listening too. |
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 01:15
|
#7 | |
|
Punk
(Forum King) 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 4.5th dimension . . Posts: infinitely few
Posts: 2,799
|
Quote:
"Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?" |
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 01:56
|
#8 |
|
Forum King
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,069
|
He didn't have to shoot. If he didn't shoot at all, then the average of all three was that the deer got shot.
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 01:58
|
#9 | |
|
(Major Dude)
isn't very custom 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Posts: 2,004
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 02:05
|
#10 |
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 60,839
|
I've seen funnier things inside fortune cookies. Sorry.
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 02:24
|
#11 |
|
Forum Sot
(Major Dude) 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Marietta, Ga. U.S.A.
Posts: 3,916
|
I need a frickin' drink!
Mas tequila! |
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 02:31
|
#12 |
|
Forum King
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,069
|
0 means the middle, therefore it got shot.
If you go to an all-science college full of this kind of stuff scrawled on toilet cubicle doors, then you learn to find it funny. The classic one in my department is: "Two atoms are sitting at a bar. One says to the other, 'Hey, I've lost an electron!' The other says, 'Are you sure?' 'Yes, I'm positive!' " It's quite well known even outside the world of scientists, geeks and nerds. |
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 02:32
|
#13 | |
|
Butterknife of Justice
(Forum King) 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Behind you.
Posts: 5,502
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 02:38
|
#14 |
|
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 60,839
|
I wouldn't watch WB even if I had cable.
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 02:58
|
#15 |
|
Forum Sot
(Major Dude)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Marietta, Ga. U.S.A.
Posts: 3,916
|
I'm partial to the jokes that start out like this...
There was a young girl from Nantucket...
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 04:05
|
#16 |
|
Major Dude
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: melbourne Posts: First
Posts: 1,313
|
it was a man from natuckit...
s0be And On that day, the Lords of the land said unto their Master Architect, "The temple you have made to the gods of Wasabi and Maki has brought us no great prosperity" and they sent out him into the lands. As he traveled to a far off land, he found he wasn't traveling alone, but that he had gained companions, and when they found their new land, they started work on a new temple, one that would be OPEN to all who wanted to worship. from The Book of Wasabi C 12 Vs 09 (pg 2003)
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 10:54
|
#17 |
|
Forum King
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,069
|
who stepped in a bucket?
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 11:15
|
#18 | |
|
has a crush on Bilbo
(Forum Queen) Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Switzerland Posts: The starting points at a racetrack.
Posts: 3,060
|
Quote:
 Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives. Q. If a bear in Yosemite, and one in Alaska fall into water, which one would dissolve faster? A. The bear in Alaska because it's polar. A neutron walks into a bar, sits down and asks for a drink. Finishing, the neutron asks "How much?" The bartender says, "For you, no charge." Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates. I guess I'm just a crazy nerd...  Mia 
|
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 11:17
|
#19 |
|
Followed by Gnomes
(Forum King) 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: West Virginia Googolplex: 10^10¹°° FB:/SSJ4.DominusDeus DeviantArt: DominusDeus XboX GT: A Wild Meeseeks Playstation 4: DominusDeus
Posts: 7,162
|
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all of his cash in a bucket, But his daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. 
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 11:47
|
#20 |
|
Where am I?
(Major Dude) 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 680
|
Not that funny even though I understand it, probably funny to maths people.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. -- Homer Simpson |
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 11:50
|
#21 |
|
Major Dude
Join Date: May 2004
Location: The North
Posts: 859
|
A man walks into a bar with a pair of jumper cables and orders a pint. The bartender looks at him sets down a cold one and says just don't be startin nothing....
Suburbia: The place where they clear down trees and then name roads after them |
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 11:56
|
#22 | |
|
Forum King
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Thoron fields and Duranium shadows. Posts: Crap mostly
Posts: 8,003
|
Quote:
Member most in need of SpellCheck Lifetime Achievement Award I'm a Twitch Streamer these days, it's weird. |
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 12:13
|
#23 |
|
Indecisive One
(Senior Member) 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: :morF
Posts: 625
|
Haha, I love scientific jokes!
Prove that cats have nine tails: No cat has eight tails. One cat has one more tail than no cat. Therefore, one cat has nine tails. Pi equals 3 for small enough Pi and big enough 3... A mathematician and his friend come upon some sheep. The friend asks: "How many that might be?" The mathematician immediately answers: "Why, 3746." The friend is wondering: "Wow, how did you know so fast?" "I just counted the legs and divided by 4." "The professor's marriage isn't going well, I hear?" "Yeah, well, he's a mathematician and she can't be counted on." Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas Eve? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25. Do you already know the newest statistical joke? Probably... I have PDF document with 22 pages full of German jokes of that kind, if someone's interested. [size=1]"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." - Richard Cook |
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 12:17
|
#24 |
|
Followed by Gnomes
(Forum King)
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: West Virginia Googolplex: 10^10¹°° FB:/SSJ4.DominusDeus DeviantArt: DominusDeus XboX GT: A Wild Meeseeks Playstation 4: DominusDeus
Posts: 7,162
|
"Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas Eve? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25."
hahaha. That one will definitely throw some people for a loop. There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don’t.
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 12:26
|
#25 | ||
|
has a crush on Bilbo
(Forum Queen) Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Switzerland Posts: The starting points at a racetrack.
Posts: 3,060
|
Quote:
I already knew the Chrsitmas/Halloween joke but it's definitely a good one. Quote:
Mia
|
||
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 12:28
|
#26 |
|
Indecisive One
(Senior Member)
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: :morF
Posts: 625
|
Mia: OK, it's slightly too big to post it as an attachment, so just PM me your email address and I'll even throw in a bunch of university quotes. And all that for free!
[size=1]"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." - Richard Cook |
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 12:49
|
#27 | |
|
Where am I?
(Major Dude)
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 680
|
Quote:
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. -- Homer Simpson |
|
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 15:29
|
#28 |
|
Forum King
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,069
|
Q. If a bear in Yosemite, and one in Alaska fall into water, which one would dissolve faster?
A. The bear in Alaska because it's polar. A neutron walks into a bar, sits down and asks for a drink. Finishing, the neutron asks "How much?" The bartender says, "For you, no charge." Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They're cheaper than day rates. I guess I'm just a crazy nerd... Mia [/B][/QUOTE] I'd never heard those before! Some more geeky chemistry stuff, some not so geeky:Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate! It is disconcerting to reflect on the number of students we have flunked in chemistry for not knowing what we later found to be untrue. Two students wanted to celebrate the long and light summer evening by fishing in their boat in the Norwegian fjord. But first they went to the lab, grabbed a bottle with the magic label 96%, and set off. After some time, the one said to the other: - I am afraid we have done something wrong. This is not ethanol, it is sulphuric acid. - I know. I have just peed a hole in he boat. Q. What do you do when you find a dead chemist? A. Barium. Q. What is the purpose of a doctor? A. Helium. In a recent contest, The Washington Post asked readers to dream up new elements for the Periodic Table. Among the best of the batch: Limbaughium Lb The heaviest known element. It possesses an ever-expanding mass. Very white. Acidic. Emits heat but no light. Instantly polarises all elements that come in contact with it. Repels protons and electrons; attracts only morons. Billclintium Bc With a slick appearance and slimy texture, this element undergoes a series of interesting changes when in hot water. Canadium Cn Similar to Americium, but a little denser. Much more rigid. Often called Boron. Budweisium Bs Has no taste or smell; is often indistinguishable from water. Cabmium Cb Found in abundance, except when needed. Exists in two states, in motion and at rest. When in motion, it cannot be stopped, no matter what you do. Cabmium has a charge associated with it. The charge is variable, and scientists have not determined the formula for calculating it. Politicium Po Contains a great deal of gas. Similar to radon in that it can reach lethal concentrations in the House. Congress Cg Atomic number 525. Can never be found in a solution. Snot Sn Bonds forever with corduroy. |
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 15:41
|
#29 |
|
Forum Sot
(Major Dude)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Marietta, Ga. U.S.A.
Posts: 3,916
|
Q: What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?
A: Its hard to make a vitamin. |
|
|
|
|
14th July 2004, 23:10
|
#30 | |
|
Ninja Master!
(Forum King) 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Hotel California
Posts: 4,333
|
i heard that joke a couple years ago. funny stuff.
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
15th July 2004, 02:16
|
#31 | |
|
Butterknife of Justice
(Forum King)
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Behind you.
Posts: 5,502
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
15th July 2004, 02:19
|
#32 |
|
Forum King
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,069
|
If you cover your corduroys with Teflon (Tf), the snot can easily be picked off once it's hardened, and then you can flick it at someone.
|
|
|
|
|
15th July 2004, 03:22
|
#33 |
|
Ninja Master!
(Forum King)
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Hotel California
Posts: 4,333
|
teflon is a element now?
|
|
|
|
|
15th July 2004, 03:28
|
#34 | |
|
(Major Dude)
isn't very custom
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Posts: 2,004
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
15th July 2004, 04:42
|
#35 |
|
Resident Floydian
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 6,222
|
"There's no place like 127.0.0.1"
I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash. |
|
|
|
|
15th July 2004, 04:58
|
#36 |
|
Forum King
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,254
|
I found far too many of those funny.
"A physics professer and his assistant are working on a negatively charged hydroxyl ion when all of a sudden the assistant says 'Wait, Professer - what if the acidicalic acids don't accept the hydroxyl ion?' and the professer responds: 'that's no hydroxyl ion - that's my wife!'" Freedom of speech is the basic freedom of humanity. When you've lost that, you've lost everything. 1\/\/4y 34|<$p4y 1gp4y 33714y, 0d4y 0uy4y? | Roses are #FF0000; Violets are #0000FF; chown -R ${YOU} ~/base The DMCA. It really is that bad. : Count for your life. |
|
|
|
|
15th July 2004, 06:04
|
#38 |
|
Forum King
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,254
|
I never took physics. With the American school system, I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.
*hugs copy of A Brief History of Time* Freedom of speech is the basic freedom of humanity. When you've lost that, you've lost everything. 1\/\/4y 34|<$p4y 1gp4y 33714y, 0d4y 0uy4y? | Roses are #FF0000; Violets are #0000FF; chown -R ${YOU} ~/base The DMCA. It really is that bad. : Count for your life. |
|
|
|
|
15th July 2004, 06:09
|
#39 | |
|
Account Closed
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,360
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
15th July 2004, 06:54
|
#40 | |
|
Forum King
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,254
|
Quote:
Oct = Octal, or "base 8" 31 = 11001 (in binary) Dec = Decimal 25 = 11001 (in binary) So 31 in octal (base 8) is the same as 25 in decimal (base 10) Freedom of speech is the basic freedom of humanity. When you've lost that, you've lost everything. 1\/\/4y 34|<$p4y 1gp4y 33714y, 0d4y 0uy4y? | Roses are #FF0000; Violets are #0000FF; chown -R ${YOU} ~/base The DMCA. It really is that bad. : Count for your life. |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|||||||
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
Linear Mode
|
|
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.