Give an advice, its about my secretary - Page 2

Germ · 20th September 2004, 18:38

this is very amusing

whiteflip · 20th September 2004, 21:21

What's even more amusing is the size of DJ Theodis

Theodis->

IIID**** * * * *

<-idiot

whiteflip->

IIIIIIIIID**** * * * * * ** * * * *** * ***** * * * *

<-whiteflip

Thats right baby, around the world.

Avion · 21st September 2004, 04:39

LMAO

ryan · 21st September 2004, 04:41

So you like to pee on yourself, whiteflip?

Xeaq · 21st September 2004, 04:57

First of all, I'm not sure which, but it's either illegal or immoral to have workplace relations.

Secondly, You're married dude! Your days of checking out girls are over! Especially if you're seriously thinking about bangin her! That's just wrong, It's the exact opposite of the point of a marraige. Jesus.

I may kick myself later for asking, but do you have kids?!

Wolfgang · 21st September 2004, 05:41

Urination is the topic now. It's been established he's a dick.

toqer · 21st September 2004, 18:15

Hmm... Ok Dr toq is in da house.

I'd say take her out to lunch, and just bring up your attraction to her. Be very direct about it (off company time and off company property though) Explain your marital status and go from there.

She's dressing very hot at work for one or several reasons. She wants a promotion (%90 of the time, thats why girls dress hot at work, barring porn stars) or she wants you to notice her. Trick is, to find out if it's 1, or the other, or both.

If you find out she just wants a promotion, tell her to stop wearing such sexy clothes, that it's against company dress code policies. If she wants you, well then you need to tell her this.

"I'm married, and if you wanted something with me you need to understand that. If we started a relationship, I couldn't see you when you wanted to see me. The only time we could see each other is when I could sneak away from my wife. We couldn't go out in public because i'd be too afraid of being caught. The whole relationship would be nothing more than cheap sex whenever I had a moment, and wouldn't be anything beyond that."

See what she says to that. When most chicks look at the reality of being with a married man, they'll back off. (I recite that speech on a semi-weekly basis) If she tells you she doesn't care, she'll take what she can get and be the patient mistress, well, have your cake and eat it too.

ScorLibran · 21st September 2004, 19:03

@yenerich:

Here's the way you can have sex with your secretary, completely guilt-free and with absolute freedom, AND it allows you to go ahead and have sex with her right away!

I call it the "Five Step Plan To Sexual Freedom".

(1) Bang your secretary, and get it on tape.

(2) Send the tape to me.

(3) File for divorce from your wife. Or tell her what you've done and she'll file it herself. In the US and many other countries, she's entitled to half of your belongings and finances. If infidelity is involved, she is entitled to as much as her lawyer can get for her based on his/her experience and abilities. A good divorce attorney can take it all, plus enough alimony to leave you in a cardboard box for years to come. As long as you haven't financed the box OR purchased it before the divorce, in which case your soon-to-be-ex will own at least half of that too.

(4) The lawyer can also very effectively arrange for at least half of your earnings to be given to your ex-wife in the form of alimony payments. This may be referred to by other terms in other countries, but most have a form of post-divorce compensation which would be equally binding. There is one way to avoid making alimony payments, however...don't ever have a job after the divorce. Such payments are based on a percentage of your earnings, and any percent of 0 is 0.

(5) I have a very, very good contract lawyer who knows a few equally good family and divorce lawyers in the US, Europe and South America (and perhaps other places as well). I'll provide him with the tape you send me, and he can have one of his contacts work with your soon-to-be-ex-wife to "arrange for your freedom" to continue banging your secretary as often and as long as you both would like.

I hope your secretary likes having sex in a cardboard box, though, and doesn't expect food, or money, or anything else you'll never have again. If that's not the case, then...

Remain Faithful To Your Wife

JRSellers · 21st September 2004, 19:44

Obviously, yenerich has no common sense, else he would not have asked for advice on the net.

winampmom · 21st September 2004, 19:48

Quote:

Originally posted by ScorLibran
@yenerich:

(2) Send the tape to me.

Hmmmmmmmmmm Scor. Why do you want him to send the tape to you??? You are such a bad boy!

yenerich · 23rd September 2004, 17:12

Ok guys, dont be cruel, i just like this girl and want to know your opinions.

Quote:

(1) Bang your secretary, and get it on tape.

Thanks for the advice, i like it!!

ertmann|CPH · 23rd September 2004, 18:09

I screwed a girl from my program at uni, ended up very complicated, and I didn't even have a girlfriend, let alone a wife....

yeah, dumb question really....maybe you should buy some sex toys and spice of your sex life with your wife instead...

ScorLibran · 23rd September 2004, 18:13

Quote:

Originally posted by yenerich
Thanks for the advice, i like it!!

If you like step 1, then you'll LOVE step 5. Just follow the process. It's proven...it works...and you'll definitely have freedom and piece of mind at the end of it.

(You don't mind if I make copies of the tape to share with friends, do you?)

JRSellers · 23rd September 2004, 18:28

Quote:

Originally posted by yenerich
Ok guys, dont be cruel, i just like this girl and want to know your opinions.

Seems to me that you asked a question such as this to get justification from us so you can have sex with your secretary, and if your wife finds out, then you can say that your aquantances in the Winamp forums said it's ok...IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!

Wrap your dick in ice every hour, and GET OVER IT, DUDE!

hgnis · 24th September 2004, 15:18

Unless you like the idea of another man doing to your wife what you are considering doing to that girl, and are seeking vindication of your planned course of action I suggest you try a swingers forum - not here.

yenerich · 27th September 2004, 05:20

Quote:

Originally posted by Smeggle
Your either a Troll, an ejit or just a plain moron.....

I hope your wife finds out ...

Mybe im just a Moron.
Dont get angry, its just a forum discussion!!

Did you ever feel atracted to some other woman???
I do, and im sincere.

Mrs_Mia_Wallace · 27th September 2004, 05:35

Quote:

Originally posted by yenerich
Did you ever feel atracted to some other woman???
I do, and im sincere.

Yes, and also to men, but I would never even consider cheating on my boyfriend because since I love him, he's the best looking guy in the world to me and why should I risk by having some quick fun the realtionship to the best person that I could get on this earth?

Mia

MegaRock · 27th September 2004, 05:39

Right on girl!

Widdykats · 27th September 2004, 10:14

Quote:

Originally posted by yenerich
Mybe im just a Moron.
Dont get angry, its just a forum discussion!!

Did you ever feel atracted to some other woman???
I do, and im sincere.

Then get divorced! If you're a troll, go away!
If you're fa' real, you're a bum! And in the work place, and her boss, pure trash!

yenerich · 29th September 2004, 17:59

Quote:

Originally posted by JRSellers
Seems to me that you asked a question such as this to get justification from us so you can have sex with your secretary, and if your wife finds out, then you can say that your aquantances in the Winamp forums said it's ok...IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!

Wrap your dick in ice every hour, and GET OVER IT, DUDE!

Come on, i was just asking some friendly answers!

gaekwad2 · 29th September 2004, 18:06

OK, here's my advice:

Ask your wife.

Tell her "I'd like to fuck my secretary."

If she doesn't mind then go ahead.

CaboWaboAddict · 29th September 2004, 18:10

Maybe she'll want a 3 some!

edit: maybe she'll cut your huevos off!

k_rock923 · 29th September 2004, 23:31

I despise how the US court system is biased towards women.

whiteflip · 30th September 2004, 06:26

Quote:

Originally posted by k_rock923
I despise how the US court system is biased towards women.

I agree.

missyob · 30th September 2004, 09:00

Quote:

Originally posted by k_rock923
I despise how the US court system is biased towards women.

What makes you say that?

I completely disagree. ~~ It is the one with the best lawyers and most money that wins. Let me explain.

A little over 9 years ago my marriage fell apart. He was dating a girl that worked with us. Blah Blah..... I moved out and took the children with me. I made $23,000 a year working a full time and another part time job. He made $43,000. My childcare bill alone was 160.00 per week and between that and taxes I was left with about 230.00 per week to raise my 3 babies. (They were 3months, 3 and 4 at the time).

To make a long story short I get 62.25 a week in child support.

Trust me when I say the courts dont always side with the woman.

~ Missy

PS However on the other side of things I came out the biggest winner. I got full custody of the 3 most amazing little men to ever be born

That my friends is the jackpot.

Yenerich,
Dont do it hon. A family is so important. Love your wife. Look at all the good points that your marriage has. Dont throw it away on a little sex. I have always wanted what you have.

Widdykats · 30th September 2004, 11:00

He's a bum, missy! The guy wants or wanted to screw his
secretary !! What is this, a bad 1950's movie?
He's a bum! B..U..M! A dirt bag!
But I mean that in a self examining way!

20th September 2004, 21:21	#42
whiteflip Post Master General (Forum King) Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Seattle, Now Las Vegas Posts: 6,032	What's even more amusing is the size of DJ Theodis Theodis-> IIID**** * * * * <-idiot whiteflip-> IIIIIIIIID**** * * * * * ** * * * *** * ***** * * * * <-whiteflip Thats right baby, around the world. I'm Back?

21st September 2004, 04:39	#43
Avion Major Dude Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 870	LMAO formely known as knightfairy > Theodis > DJ Theodis

21st September 2004, 18:15	#47
toqer Winamp's Little Stalker (Member) Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under a bridge Posts: 796	Hmm... Ok Dr toq is in da house. I'd say take her out to lunch, and just bring up your attraction to her. Be very direct about it (off company time and off company property though) Explain your marital status and go from there. She's dressing very hot at work for one or several reasons. She wants a promotion (%90 of the time, thats why girls dress hot at work, barring porn stars) or she wants you to notice her. Trick is, to find out if it's 1, or the other, or both. If you find out she just wants a promotion, tell her to stop wearing such sexy clothes, that it's against company dress code policies. If she wants you, well then you need to tell her this. "I'm married, and if you wanted something with me you need to understand that. If we started a relationship, I couldn't see you when you wanted to see me. The only time we could see each other is when I could sneak away from my wife. We couldn't go out in public because i'd be too afraid of being caught. The whole relationship would be nothing more than cheap sex whenever I had a moment, and wouldn't be anything beyond that." See what she says to that. When most chicks look at the reality of being with a married man, they'll back off. (I recite that speech on a semi-weekly basis) If she tells you she doesn't care, she'll take what she can get and be the patient mistress, well, have your cake and eat it too. Winamps Only Karaoke TV station, Live from the 7 Bamboo in San Jose California

21st September 2004, 19:03	#48
ScorLibran Resident Floydian Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 6,222	@yenerich: Here's the way you can have sex with your secretary, completely guilt-free and with absolute freedom, AND it allows you to go ahead and have sex with her right away! I call it the *"Five Step Plan To Sexual Freedom"*. (1) Bang your secretary, and get it on tape. (2) Send the tape to me. (3) File for divorce from your wife. Or tell her what you've done and she'll file it herself. In the US and many other countries, she's entitled to half of your belongings and finances. If infidelity is involved, she is entitled to as much as her lawyer can get for her based on his/her experience and abilities. A good divorce attorney can take it all, plus enough alimony to leave you in a cardboard box for years to come. As long as you haven't financed the box OR purchased it before the divorce, in which case your soon-to-be-ex will own at least half of that too. (4) The lawyer can also very effectively arrange for at least half of your earnings to be given to your ex-wife in the form of alimony payments. This may be referred to by other terms in other countries, but most have a form of post-divorce compensation which would be equally binding. There is one way to avoid making alimony payments, however...don't ever have a job after the divorce. Such payments are based on a percentage of your earnings, and any percent of 0 is 0. (5) I have a very, very good contract lawyer who knows a few equally good family and divorce lawyers in the US, Europe and South America (and perhaps other places as well). I'll provide him with the tape you send me, and he can have one of his contacts work with your soon-to-be-ex-wife to "arrange for your freedom" to continue banging your secretary as often and as long as you both would like. I hope your secretary likes having sex in a cardboard box, though, and doesn't expect food, or money, or anything else you'll never have again. If that's not the case, then... Remain Faithful To Your Wife I'm a psychosomatic sister running around without a leash.

24th September 2004, 15:18	#55
hgnis Hobbit Humper Forum King Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: banned camp Posts: 4,127	Unless you like the idea of another man doing to your wife what you are considering doing to that girl, and are seeking vindication of your planned course of action I suggest you try a swingers forum - not here. I am so important I feel the need to let it be known like a liberal discovering the internets for the first time. Uh hur hur hur. I also wash myself with a rag on a stick. Reality bites <3

20th September 2004, 18:38	#41
Germ rules all things Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 3,149	this is very amusing

21st September 2004, 04:41	#44
ryan not fucked, not quite. (Forum King) Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Missouri via Tennessee Posts: 8,813	So you like to pee on yourself, whiteflip?

21st September 2004, 04:57	#45
Xeaq Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Nofrendz Posts: 198	First of all, I'm not sure which, but it's either illegal or immoral to have workplace relations. Secondly, You're married dude! Your days of checking out girls are over! Especially if you're seriously thinking about bangin her! That's just wrong, It's the exact opposite of the point of a marraige. Jesus. I may kick myself later for asking, but do you have kids?!

21st September 2004, 05:41	#46
Wolfgang Forum King Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 3,069	Urination is the topic now. It's been established he's a dick.

21st September 2004, 19:44	#49
JRSellers Major Dude Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 1,107	Obviously, yenerich has no common sense, else he would not have asked for advice on the net.

23rd September 2004, 18:09	#52
ertmann\|CPH Forum Viking (Forum King) Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: The North Posts: 3,541	I screwed a girl from my program at uni, ended up very complicated, and I didn't even have a girlfriend, let alone a wife.... yeah, dumb question really....maybe you should buy some sex toys and spice of your sex life with your wife instead...

27th September 2004, 05:39	#58
MegaRock Forum King Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Inside my water bong Posts: 6,865	Right on girl! Megarock Radio - St. Louis Since 1998! Don't click this link! Corporate Radio Sucks! No suits, all rock!

29th September 2004, 18:06	#61
gaekwad2 Foorum King Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: bar2000 Posts: 11,457	OK, here's my advice: Ask your wife. Tell her "I'd like to fuck my secretary." If she doesn't mind then go ahead.

29th September 2004, 18:10	#62
CaboWaboAddict Forum Sot (Major Dude) Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Marietta, Ga. U.S.A. Posts: 3,916	Maybe she'll want a 3 some! edit: maybe she'll cut your huevos off! Idiot's Advocate My site (under construction)

29th September 2004, 23:31	#63
k_rock923 \m/ (Forum King) Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: /bin/bash Posts: 7,850	I despise how the US court system is biased towards women. Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.

30th September 2004, 11:00	#66
Widdykats The Forum Slut Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: A place that invites a post pumping whore from NY Posts: 15,787	He's a bum, missy! The guy wants or wanted to screw his secretary !! What is this, a bad 1950's movie? He's a bum! B..U..M! A dirt bag! But I mean that in a self examining way!

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