"After You"

[ShyShy]

Friday, January 07, 2005

By Neil Cavuto

I have a question I'd like to ask female viewers watching right now — although I suspect, male viewers might be interested in knowing too.

Ladies, if a guy holds a door open for you, do you like it, or feel patronized by it?

The reason I ask is that I did just that for a woman, leaving a building Thursday night. She was not pleased.

"Do I look paralyzed to you?" she asked.

I was so taken aback that I didn't know what to say, or even what she was saying herself.

She went on to explain how I had just earlier stepped out of her way on the elevator to let her off.

I just assumed it was the gentlemanly thing to do. I guess I'm a bit old fashioned. But she was not and she clearly wasn't into "gentlemanly."

When I recomposed myself, I had to follow her.

"Excuse me," I asked — now feeling every bit of my offended macho Italian roots — "but exactly what bug got up your butt?"

"Treating me like I have to be coddled," she said.

"By opening a door?" I asked.

She went onto explain the door thing was part and parcel of a bigger thing: An attempt by men, she said, to make women feel like they're lesser.

It made me think and it made me worry.

So let me ask you, ladies: Do you find it offensive when some big klutz like me opens a door that I'm patronizing you, or, in the case of this young woman, "offending" you?

I'd like to know. I'll report your answers on Monday.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,143717,00.html

Some gals take the feminism a bit too far.

I've held doors open for other people, men and women, and more often than not, it's the guys who'll thank me. And I thank whoever holds a door open for me. To me, it's the polite thing to do.

[. - .... .- -. ....]

I'd have followed her to the front entrance, walked out in front of her, and slammed it closed in her face - the more force used the better to cancel out the good karma.

Stupid bitch.....

I wonder if she's as outspoken when she's being charged half the price for car insurance that I am.... I doubt it somehow.

[Too-DAMN-Much]

wow maybe i'll think twice before i hold open my front door for some of my female friends










YEAH RIGHT

whatabitch

[d0rk]

A deacon at a local church I used to go to gave a talk on this subject a few years ago and he said something I have always remembered and is one of my favorite quotes:

"I dont open the door for you because I want you to feel infererior, I open the door for you because you're special."

[Cognition]

Exactly. Doing those things is not in any way to "make women feel like they're lesser", it's quite the opposite. You do it because it's polite, and you're treating someone else above yourself.

[whiteflip]

What a bitch indeed. Having people open doors for you doesn't make you lesser of a person, it makes you more important of a person. Her perspectives are scewed. I wish people would open my doors and politely step out of my way but no thats what men do to women cuz women are sexy and we like them.

[missyob]

I like having the door opened for me. I do the same for others. It is more of a kindness thing rather than "I cant do it for myself"
That woman is a bitch.

My boys open the doors and hold them open for others.

[Fickle]

She's a moron.

[xzxzzx]

I'll hold the door open for anyone. If I'm feeling nice, I'll run a bit ahead of a friend (male or otherwise), and open the door for them. It's an act of courtesy. It can be a "gentlemanly" thing to do, implying a chivalrous attitude, but plainly, it's a polite thing to do for anyone.

[Wolfgang]

It's not something you should really give much thought to. If you're about to go through a door and someone behind you intends to do the same, the logical thing is to keep the door open for them. There's not a lot more to it.

[Phyltre]

"Do I look paralyzed to you?" she asked.

"No. At least, not yet, but give it a minute. The next door smashes you in two."

[BlueTape]

being gentlemenly like is something thats fading fast in todays world

I open doors for ladies at work but they sometimes laugh and I ask why and mainly my reply is .. why open the door for me when I wouldn't open the door for others

but my point is that I've been brought up being a gentleman and its only kind curtisy and respect to open the door or whatever for others

its also my nature to treat people everynow and again.. but still some people look at you strangely for it, thinking other meanings is involved, its a real shame sometimes when all you do is something good for someone else however big or small it is

[electricmime]

i always hold the door for someone(especially those behind me, no matter who they are) and i have only been chewed out for it twice..

but i guess its kinda like when someone chews you out for saying 'yes mam'(DO I LOOK OLD ENOUGH TO BE A 'MAM'?!)

heres a question.. what if she was paralyzed.. or mentally disabled.. i have seen people who looked perfectly capable, just running into a door.. and even more people pulling a push door and pushing a pulldoor.. how bad would he have felt knowing she starved because she couldnt get out, and he wouldnt open the door for her!

[WomanOfHeart]

It seems that common courtesy has gone the way of common sense. It's just not that common anymore.
If someone holds a door open for me, I'm polite and gracious about it. I'm especially grateful if it's happens to be on an occasion when I'm using my cane!
I've only had one person yell at me for holding the door for them. She was in a wheelchair. It was windy, which made the doors somewhat difficult to hold open. The bitch actually yelled "Don't hold the fucking door open for me!"
Fine...next time I'll just let it sling your ass back into the street.

[Mrs_Mia_Wallace]

Originally posted by ShyShy
I've held doors open for other people, men and women, and more often than not, it's the guys who'll thank me. And I thank whoever holds a door open for me. To me, it's the polite thing to do.

Exactly, it's just courtesy to me, I wouldn't be mad if a guy didn't open the door for me because he wasn't quick enough to grab the handle before me or something. As long as I don't get it smashed in my face it's alright

That woman has some serious issues in my opinion, one of those people where everything you do is wrong no matter what

Mia

[Schmeet]

Originally posted by electricmime
and even more people pulling a push door and pushing a pulldoor..

Heh...

I've always grown up with manners and stuff. As Mr. Jones said, manners come for free.

[CaboWaboAddict]

I'd say to her... "Wow, I get off on bitchy women, can I buy you a drink?"

[k_rock923]

I always hold a door for people. Sometimes i will stay an extra 15 seconds to hold the door for someone coming in from the other side of the parking lot. Just the way i was raised i guess. I love it how half the time when i do that, the person slams the door in the face of someone walking behind them.

[Bilbo Baggins]

I hold the door for anyone who happens to be behind me. I always let ladies go before me, and I always make sure that when i am walking with a lady I walk nearest the road. I think its common courtesy.

[ujay]

Sounds like just the sort of woman who does need help with toilet seats though. There's a contradicton there somewhere.

UJ

[mysterious_w]

We got it rammed into our heads during 4 years of primary school that opening a door for some else was a very important thing to do.

It was on of the 3 "C's", courtesey, care and I think courage.

I remember later it became the 4 C's, so I can't remember one of them.

[ScorLibran]

Ladies, if a guy holds a door open for you, do you like it, or feel patronized by it?

The reason I ask is that I did just that for a woman, leaving a building Thursday night. She was not pleased.

"Do I look paralyzed to you?" she asked.

I've become too busy and too impatient in my recent life to tolerate someone being what I'd consider too picky about semantics. My response to the woman quoted above would be, "No, you look like you're going to have to open the door for yourself now. You've forfeited your right to convenience." Then I'd push past her and through the doorway, letting the door close on her.

In other words, if you have enough time to be that super-sensitive to an innocuous offer of kindness, then you need to work harder in life...until your mind is as full as mine of things-to-do that you have no time to even remember if someone opened a door for you, but certainly wouldn't hesitate to be gracious if they did. In that way, keeping busy tends to prevent snotty behavior.

I've always been chivalrous by default, but my intolerance for rudeness has surpassed my chivalrous instincts. I'm kind to everyone and defer to women in situations of public interaction, but if I get a snide comment such as the one above I'd retract my deference immediately and quietly.

[shakey_snake]

Originally posted by Fickle
She's a moron.

And she voted for Kerry.

[Too-DAMN-Much]

Originally posted by Bilbo Baggins
and I always make sure that when i am walking with a lady I walk nearest the road. I think its common courtesy.

wow surprised someone mentioned that, now bilbo have you an idea why us men do that particular one?

[Jay]

Yes, I make a point to thank a person who holds a door open for me, especially as of late it seems that no one will thank me if I hold it open for them. Especially women. At my campus I have started noticing that the only people who seem polite about it are guys. That's just wrong. Rare is it when a woman holds the door for me. If she does I do make a point to say thank you. i think I should start taking the queues of an old friend of mine. If someone is being an ass about him holding the door for them he would make it very clear by stating loudly, "You're Welcome".

Also I echo the sentiments raised here. I do it because it is right and the polite thing to do, not because I want anything from you or for you to feel inferior to me.

[missyob]

Originally posted by Too-DAMN-Much
wow surprised someone mentioned that, now bilbo have you an idea why us men do that particular one?

Actually I do.

In the early 1900's the cars did not have as good of steering and suspension as they do today. Sometimes a car would vear off the road a little and splash water/dirt onto the sidewalks. The man would walk nearest the road to keep the dirt/slush away from the woman.

I dont know how true it is but that is what my daddy told me a long time ago.

[Wolfgang]

That's what I imagined. It reminded me of how men would lay their coats over puddles and mud for the queen to walk over... maybe other dignified ladies too.

[Too-DAMN-Much]

i was told it was in case someone got hit, it'd be the man, but yeah that's basically what i was told too

[ujay]

I was taught to always walk on the ladies right, to leave your sword arm unencumbered should you need to defend her honour

UJ

[dlinkwit27]

when I first started going out with my now ex-g/f, neither of us could drive yet, and her mom was taking us to the mall, and We both went towards the same door and I took an extra qucik step to get there before her to open the door for her, and she gave me the worst look and went to the other side saying "ok, I'll go around" and all I wanted to do is open it for her.

She felt bad about it after I explained my intensions, but it's just sad the lack of manners people have today. Luckily for me, my current g/f let's me be a gentleman

It is always fun, though, to see other couples when we go out. It'll be a friday night, we go to a resturant, and I pull the seat out for her and such, and every once in a while I'll hear a "slap" of a girl hitting her b/f on the arm and say "why don't you do that for me!"

[Hollow]

You know the best part of this is that Cavuto slammed this woman on TV.

[White Raven]

I hold the door open for people, and I rather like it when someone does it for me. I always say thank-you as well, whensomeone holds a door or when I get off the bus.

Just polite.

What a feminazi.

[baafie]

Can I have "feminazi" as my custom title?

[Twilightseer]

I usually hold the door open for people, whether male or female. I do hate it when the person doesn't say thanks.

As to the original quote, I'd go for the method recommended by ethan_h.
Any woman who would think she has a right to piss me off with such a futile matter deserves my wrath (and why head-butt her when you have a door handy that will do the same job)

[electricmime]

he could have simply pointed out that the door is always held for the president, and its not to make him look weak.. if anything its a sign of respect

[. - .... .- -. ....]

Wait... I hold doors open for men too. Does that mean I'm gay?!!

[Wolfgang]

I hold the door open for my dog when I take it out.

[Bilbo Baggins]

Originally posted by ethan_h
Wait... I hold doors open for men too. Does that mean I'm gay?!!

Your not gay unless you push back.


Baafie - Changed.

[morgado]

Originally posted by Fickle
She's a moron.

Nothing more needs to be said.

[duet maxwell]

Also a bit self-righteous, what he did was an automatic response for curtsey.
She shouldn’t think herself so great, she aint that special

We all aren't like this misguided lady