I went to my Mom's house this weekend adn she has a Satellite Dish with almost all the movie channels. Well her computer was in my sister's room and she was asleep so I couldn't go on the internet like I do after midnight every night so I decided to flip on the TV and watch some movies. Well at about 1 AM I flipped to HBO and there was this show, I think it was called Carnal Sensations or something, everyone in the house was asleep so I decided to watch it. Yes, it had the AO rating so it had a few nude chicks on it, but so what. THE SEX SCENES WERE FAKE AS HELL! Oh my god, I couldn't believe how CORNY late night HBO and Cinemax "porn" is. The stories were STUPID. It didn't turn me on, I was too busy trying to hold in the laughter since these movies are so fucking corny its halarious.
I mean in this "porno movie" there was this dude who was "the best massuer in town" and in the very first scene he was fake-doing some chick who was supposedly 19 years old (she looked 28-30ish to me). Now he's supposed to be giving his clients back massages. Ok so his "manager" comes in and tells him he has a visitor, who happens to be a co-worker and roommate (wonder what theyre gonna be doing later
Well next scene he's at home and she shows up to they fake-screw for about 5-10 minutes and then go to bed. Next day he goes to work and his client is this ugly 40 year old looking chick who is supposedly the wife of some banker. They screw of course. But, The massuer has dreams of opening up his own massage place, but he's broke and has no money.
So this old chick sets up a meeting for this dude to see her husband (don't worry, they dont have sex). Next day at the bank the massager guy runs into his old client (who he had "sex" with). And says hi. Next he has his meeting with the banker dude, it goes well, but his "old client" interrupts the banker's meeting for some reason and had to continue later.
Next scene the banker and the dude's old cleint screw in his office. She ends up having to leave in a hurry and accientally leaves her bright red bra behind.
After that the massuer goes home and tells his roommate (did I mention she's a chick) the good news. They screw.
The banker's wife (the 40 year old ugly one) shows up at his office and finds the red bra.
So she shows up at the massager's work at screws him again.
The banker goes over to the massuer's place to continue the meeting. He isn't home but his roomate is. So they end up screwing.
But the massuer wanted to visit his "old client" and chat and have dinner and stuff. Well, they end up screwing. (that makes 4 different women this guy screwes in a 48 hour timeframe)
Next scene the "19 year old girl" shows up in the banker dude's office (don't worry, they dont screw, only because she's his daughter
) and asks him if he's having an affair (which he is). He says yes (big mistake), so she gets pissed at him and tells him she lost his virginity. The banker gets pissed off so she tells him it was the massuer
The banker now wants to kick this guys ass. So he barges into the massuers workplace with his daughter follwing and catches him screwing with his "old client" (the banker's mistress) once again
. He is enfuriated but his wife (who supposedly had an appointment) shows up. She knows the woman the guy was screwing when she got in was her husband's mistress cuz she saw a picture of her in her husbands house a few scenes back.
She's pissed (the 40 year old one) at the mistress for not only screwing her husband but for screwing the massuer as well. Next, the massuer's roommate shows up, she's pissed cuz she told him not to screw his clients anymore. So now all 4 women this guy has screwed plus the banker are standing in the same room.
Well, for some reason everything worked itself out. The banker ended up giving this guy his loan for his own massage place. The banker is back with his wife. And in the end, everyones happy.
What kind of stupid story is this???
This is the kind of bullshit that plays there every night almost.
I mean, check this out, the guy screwes his wife, his daughter, AND his mistress, and ends up getting the loan. People, IT DONT WORK THAT WAY!