Another Artistic Thread - POEMS

[PhotoFx]

well, personally, i still like the one i posted more, and i just wrote it tonight, so it was both not an option and the wrong one for me. you go ahead and like it though, that doesn't bother me.

I'm never sure why i sometimes write in verse, and sometimes not. I think that the verse often forces things to be said in ways longer than they could be (like that sentance right there), and i really like poems that say a lot without saying a lot. for my mind's ear, Power = Meaning/Length.

which is why i try and use very direct language in my stuff mostly. I like to hit peopel over the head wiht whatever it is i'm writing about.

[edit] hey, someone called me alan! [/edit]

[blaugh]

thanks for the kind words...ill post a couple more later

this thread rocks

[izchan]

Originally posted by PhotoFx
Power = Meaning/Length.
[edit] hey, someone called me alan! [/edit]

Fist of all, I agree with the equation.
Second, you can call me Isaac if you wish,
IZ-CHAN => Isaac Chan

As for liking your poem, I like your original post too, but I liked Athenes poem better so I voted for her instead.

It was a tough decision to make.

Blaugh, you are welcomed, thanks for the kind words as well, we all here contribute to make this thread such a great place to be. The Talents gathered here are those that makes life worth living.

Keep it coming people.

[PhotoFx]

i'll try and remember to do that, isaac, as long as you odn't mind all lower case, i do it with everything.

And, i find it amusing that the one that won you over mind was one that i didn't even choose between . No offense taken of course, but i like mine the best of all of them, but just didn't think it was fair to vote for it.

[izchan]

Alan,

isaac will be just fine. I am not that picky.

As for my personal likes in poems are those that reflects things in life around us and not specifically within us.

Not that I don't enjoy poems about personal feelings, which I write a lot about, but I tend to enjoy any poem that goes for the outside factor. When people write about the world and yet be able to reflect it back into our lives, that is kind of important to me.

In most of the decisions I do, I tend to try to get a overall view of it in all the possible angles available to me. I will then be able to make a better educated decision in whatever that I wish to do or comment on.

<Hopefull Speculations> allows me to feel the feelings that I have when I am in a relationship of troubles. Which is very touching and articulate. I love it.

But with Athenes <For hope to heal sadness>, I feel the pain of the third party and not of the authors personal feeling. That is what I like about it. With her simple verse, she told a story of another and her reaction to it. And that is what I enjoy. A good story.

With that said, people perference to things are often the deciding factor in where our money goes. So Alan, my comments are only valid for me and me alone, there are plenty out there who will disgree with me on my words.

Your poems are still one of the best on this thread and in most of the other poems I have read in books or articles. I enjoy reading it because it gives me a better understanding to the person that writes it.

Keep it coming people.

The poets journey only ends when the world is no more.

[PhotoFx]

isaac, i guess what i'm shooting for is that what i write will be universal, but that it comes out of personal feelings or events that i've gone through. I just try and make it general sometimes in the hopes that people can relate to some of it and maybe feel better.

almost everything i've written comes out of a personal experiance, which is why i don't write about Bridges, or Flowers, or other things, unless somehow it struck me and affected me personally. the reason i post is

1. to let people know me better,
2. to hope for some universality in what i'm feeling, so i'm not alone, and
3. and ego boost when people like what i've written
4. lists are fun!

so, i guess we have a fundamenta difference in approach, though not in end. and, of course, the End is what counts, in the End.

[izchan]

I have only this to say Alan.

: Journey of poets

And so a beautiful friendship begins
with words that comes from the heart
and a destination that we all share
a journey of poets
a journey of understanding

can you guys hear the background music? I think it is a Yanni ...



Long live the ability to dream ...

[PhotoFx]

I hate yanni almost as much as i hate kenny g

[xarajodie]

izchan - thank you very much for your kind words. Your advice was very applicable, and your assumptions were true. There's been a lot on my mind, making me turn inward, ignoring much of that around me. I've had a lot to sort out, I suppose, and I tried to do that through the normal route - writing. But sometimes thoughts get tangled into each other and there is just very little way to separate them into logical sentences, as I used to be able to.

Ian - I have been on a drought, for quite a while, I suppose. Every now and then, churning out something minor, but very rarely.

Thanks for your help. Maybe I'll spend a day reteaching myself, counseling myself.

Here's a poem I wrote 2 years ago:

FEEL MIRACLE, CRY

She was born a miracle into this world.
She was born to see what no other could.
Born to live as previously thought impossible
But she did not know her miraculous quality.
Within her true sight, she felt only pain.
Out cast from her pained conception
She brought the poison to her life.
But as she raised the potion to her lips
Another miracle was born within her
A light that although it had always existed,
had remained dormant for her duration.
But, now, finally, she felt its heat
its purity.
And the light seeped up through her soul
to pour down her cheeks in utter truth.

(My best friend and I picked random words out of a magnetic poetry kit, made it a title, and gave ourselves individual assignments to write the poem to fit the title, and this is one of the things I came up with.)

[izchan]

Alan,
you have to provide proper reasons why you dislike Yanni, I can understand Kenny G, but Yanni? His not that bad.

Plus I am glad more people are participating in this thread.

Hope you don't mind Xara, but your magnetic title sounds very interesting, here is my try at doing it.

: Feel Miracle, Cry (Izchan Version)

Have you seen a miracle
as miracolous as time
Can you feel its pain
Can you hear its cry
As it beats onwards
moving towards an imaginery line
forever chasing a mirage
untill eternity dies

The whole poem is talking about time and how it keeps going on without stopping.

It is a bit short, but that's all I can come out for now.

don't worry Xara, all you need to do is relax and enjoy life, inspiration comes to those who lives in them.

[PhotoFx]

no, sorry isacc, i can't provide any good reasons , as i've avoided him for years... listened to him when i was little, so i assume there's a decent reason why i stopped.

I just generally shy away from "easy lsitening" as i generally find it boring. As for kenny g, have you ever read the article by pat metheny about him? it's highly entertaining. if anyone's curious, i'll post it somewhere.

[xarajodie]

izchan - I hope you don't mind that I emailed that to my friend That's a good poem, I really like it's universal quality.

And yeah, I'm relaxing more and more as time goes on *crosses fingers*

Love, Ruth

[izchan]

Sure ruth, I don't mind. Better yet, get your friend on this thread so that we have yet another companion in this poetic discovery.

Alan, could you post the article, I am curios what he said about kenny G.

thanks.

[PhotoFx]

ruth, it's just time. What's waiting if you come out with something beautiful. I know i had to sit there and ponder what in the heck i was doing when i was writing the Searching Song, i had to think, try and find alternate words, alternate phrases when the ones i wanted wouldn't fit. It's just rethinking... maybe that's why my meter comes out well soemtimes, with free, you can write thoughts, and don't have to rewrite them, because they say what you wanted, even if there was a "better" way (not really, cause it's all relative and opinion) to say the same thing.... I suppose i do all my editing on the fly, and i rarely touch them after i'm done.

just a thought for some help. but, the basis is always an idea, and if you can, it's nice to let it stew in your head before writing anything down, or else you get everything out in 2 lines and don't have anything left to expand on.

It's just time.

This applies to everyone too, especially me... i've tried to force things, and i just havn't liked them, took me much longer to rework them into something i liked.

-Alan


[edit] i'm gonna start a new thread for the article, cause it's pretty long [/edit]

[wildsegolily]

hello- I'm new to this "forum" thing... anyone care to explain what it's all about?

this was my version of "Feel Miracle Cry" written on Groundhog Day 2000.

Feel Miracle Cry

I am alive- living-
feeling- a miracle
to say the least.
I feel the surges
of emotion--
of hate
of love
of deception
and anger
coursing through
my thick veins
filled with blood
with the tears
of my soul
the miracle
of life
that is truly
the mess of
wires that
catches up my
soul in a web-
it squeezes around
my being
and causes this
miracle to burst
and makes
the world rain
one more time
shattering
earthquakes
of pain
and death
and laughter
i feel it all
and cry
my soul cries
for this miracle
that isn't a miracle
of life
but a curse
that i feel
weighing me down
more
crushing
until i explode
-i cry-
i feel
this miracle
and cry.

My poetry is always evolving, so I have a different style now than I did even a couple months ago... I suppose something in it must always express 'me' in some form or another, though.